Wednesday, December 27, 2006

How do they separate the men from the boys in the Taliban?

With a crowbar:
The Afghan Taliban underwent a major reorganization last Winter. In addition to accepting suicide attacks (previously a no-no), and a more aggressive use of terror tactics against Afghans, a list of 30 "Rules" were issued. The word went out that members of the Taliban were to live and, in some cases, die by, these rules. Most of them have to do with pretty basic stuff. Like obeying orders, not ratting out your buddies to the police, not stealing from each other, not using Taliban assets for personal gain (there are several rules for this one, indicating that there are continued problems in this area), not recruiting existing Taliban members from another Taliban gang, fair distribution of loot captured in battle, and so on.
Taliban are also told not to steal from civilians, smoke cigarettes (nothing is said about opium) or sodomize young boys.
No word on goat bothering so morale presumably won't be too severely impacted.

(Hat tip: SondraK)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

And a Merry Christmas to all

From everyone at the Country Store:

Hat tip: Moo Amp where you can get wallpaper of the computer variety with the above and other fetching bovine themes. That is, if you aren't all nervous about cows causing global warming.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Hearing their master's voice

Al Qaeda Sends a Message to Democrats:

Al Qaeda has sent a message to leaders of the Democratic party that credit for the defeat of congressional Republicans belongs to the terrorists.

The fuzzy little cretin had two messages for his brown nosing servants:

"The first is that you aren't the ones who won the midterm elections, nor are the Republicans the ones who lost. Rather, the Mujahideen -- the Muslim Ummah's vanguard in Afghanistan and Iraq -- are the ones who won, and the American forces and their Crusader allies are the ones who lost," Zawahri said, according to a full transcript obtained by ABC News.

Zawahri calls on the Democrats to negotiate with him and Osama bin Laden, not others in the Islamic world who Zawahri says cannot help.

"And if you don't refrain from the foolish American policy of backing Israel, occupying the lands of Islam and stealing the treasures of the Muslims, then await the same fate," he said.
The bad news is that John Kerry immediately booked a flight to Islamabad, the good news is that Nancy Pelosi has bought a wardrobe full of burquas. The full face covering variety.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Ecoweenies caught making it up

Court upholds libel award against green group:
An Arizona appeals court has upheld a jury's $600,000 judgment in favor of a rancher in a defamation lawsuit, rejecting an environmental group's argument that documents it posted on the Internet were shielded by the First Amendment.

The Court of Appeals upheld a Pima County Superior Court jury's award of compensatory and punitive damages to Jim Chilton in his lawsuit against the Center for Biological Diversity, a nonprofit with offices in Arizona, California, New Mexico, Oregon and Washington, D.C.
The environmental group argued that the documents were shielded by state and federal constitutional protections for the right to petition the government over grievances because the appeal and photographs submitted with it were public records related to official proceedings.
Well, they were public records, but they were also bogus:
The trial jury found the center made false statements in photo captions, including one that implied that grazing by Chilton's cattle was responsible for damage actually caused by hundreds of people, including the photographer, who attended a May Day festival.
Nothing like a Gaia worshipper hootenanny to bring out the best.

Speaking of ecoweenies and making it up, I don't know about you, but we've sure had a shortage of global warming around here lately. It was so cold yesterday that I was actually wishing that Al Gore and Barbara Boxer would stop by so I could hook Al up to the heater in the barn and Babs to the gas log in the fireplace. Yeah, the smell might be bad, but I'm willing to do my bit to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Conan O'Brien:
This year White House Christmas decorations include several 10-foot-tall nutcrackers. Apparently, this was the biggest nutcracker at the White House since Hillary Clinton was first lady.

Speaking of nutcrackers (albeit the European variety), I see that Arianna Huffington has been spanking Hillary for being a political weather vane. For a former Newt Gingrich groupie turned leftoid moonbat, that's kind of rich. Even better, the Huffster seems to be touting empty suit Barack Obama for President without realizing that Her Heinous would beat him like drum. Shows what can happen to your head when you hang out all the time with the nutroots and Hollyweirdos. Well, if her political advice is a trifle wacky, at least Arianna can advise on how to marry rich gay guys and engage in unceasing self promotion of meager talent. Sort of like Zsa Zsa Gabor except for the gay part.

While we're on the subject of husbands, one more Hillary joke from Jay Leno:
Hillary Clinton is making calls, hiring staff and getting ready to travel to Iowa to launch her campaign. She will be on the road non-stop for the next two years. How will Bill ever manage? The poor guy stuck home alone. He will be heartbroken.
I'm sure he will. Of course, while we're talking stay-at-home spouses, there's Barack Obama's wife Michelle who is VP of Community and External Affairs at the The University of Chicago Hospitals at a salary of over $300K. The hospital says it's merely a coincidence that she got a big promotion that nearly tripled her salary after ole Barack became a Senator and that Michelle now gets paid much the same as the other 16 vice-presidents who actually have something to do with medicine and running the hospitals and medical centers and all that icky stuff. I say that unless she's phoning it in from Washington DC that means Barack is swanning about the nation's capital all on his lonesome. Beware of fat girls delivering pizzas, Barack!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Fun with global warming

Media Shows Irrational Hysteria on Global Warming:
David Deming, an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma and an adjunct scholar with the National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA), testified this morning at a special hearing of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. The hearing examined climate change and the media. Bellow are excerpts from his prepared remarks.

"In 1995, I published a short paper in the academic journal Science. In that study, I reviewed how borehole temperature data recorded a warming of about one degree Celsius in North America over the last 100 to 150 years. The week the article appeared, I was contacted by a reporter for National Public Radio. He offered to interview me, but only if I would state that the warming was due to human activity. When I refused to do so, he hung up on me.

"I had another interesting experience around the time my paper in Science was published. I received an astonishing email from a major researcher in the area of climate change. He said, "We have to get rid of the Medieval Warm Period." "The Medieval Warm Period (MWP) was a time of unusually warm weather that began around 1000 AD and persisted until a cold period known as the "Little Ice Age" took hold in the 14th century. ... The existence of the MWP had been recognized in the scientific literature for decades. But now it was a major embarrassment to those maintaining that the 20th century warming was truly anomalous. It had to be "gotten rid of."

"In 1999, Michael Mann and his colleagues published a reconstruction of past temperature in which the MWP simply vanished. This unique estimate became known as the "hockey stick," because of the shape of the temperature graph. "Normally in science, when you have a novel result that appears to overturn previous work, you have to demonstrate why the earlier work was wrong. But the work of Mann and his colleagues was initially accepted uncritically, even though it contradicted the results of more than 100 previous studies. Other researchers have since reaffirmed that the Medieval Warm Period was both warm and global in its extent.

"There is an overwhelming bias today in the media regarding the issue of global warming. In the past two years, this bias has bloomed into an irrational hysteria. Every natural disaster that occurs is now linked with global warming, no matter how tenuous or impossible the connection. As a result, the public has become vastly misinformed."
You have hurricanes, it's due to global warming. You don't have hurricanes, it's due to global warming. The dog eats your homework, that's global warming too.

Next year Donk Barbara Boxer (reputed to be the dumbest US Senator, although there's lots of competition for that title) is taking over the committee and is promising endless hearings on ... (wait for it) ... global warming. Based on her performance yesterday, it's going to be a real snoozer.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

It's the "Big Noise" from Virginia

George Will spanks bombastic nutjob James Webb, but not hard enough. Well, we knew he had a swelled head, it runs in the family:

James Webb and his twin brother

Time to rock and roll

Paul Bedard:

Looks like the Republicans in the House aren't planning to play nice-nice with the Democrats after all. The emerging House Republican plan on how to address the new Democratic majority is turning toward an aggressive effort to portray Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi and her team as out of touch and liberal.

"Come January, we'll take her head off every day," said a top GOP aide involved in the planning. "It will be a pure war of ideas over the next two years."

Leading the battle with be incoming House Minority Leader John Boehner and his conservative team. Insiders say that the goal is to pick at Democratic initiatives as pro-tax, pro-spending, or unworkable.

"We are going to re-establish that we are the party of ideas, that they got elected in a fluke, and we're going to make that known every day, every way," said the official. What's more, said another Republican aide, the GOP also plans to highlight what they see as Democratic hypocrisy or backtracking on previous promises. That started today when Boehner's office slammed the Democratic plan to abandon support for instituting the recommendations of the 9/11 commission. "There will be certain elements of 'I told you so' to the campaign," said the Republican aide.
I can think of some other fun elements too.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Sheesh, what next?

Peaceniks work up to Global Orgasm:

If you've got a few minutes to spare on 22 December, and fancy a quick shag for the advancement of World peace and harmony, then get yourself down to Global Orgasm - a mass coming-together of.. well, no, a mass coming together sums it up quite nicely.

The plan is pretty simple: to "effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy" during the "First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace".

There's more japery by following the link, but I wonder if these Fruit Loops have considered possible negative effects? Aside from the possibility of sore camels in Iran and Syria, can you imagine the effect on "human energy" if Cindy Sheehan slathered up with "emotion lotion" and jumped into a quivering Code Pink mosh pit of lust? On the other hand, I suppose we could survive if Skeletor Nancy Pelosi got together with John Murtha and Alcee Hastings to to "plight their troth," but I sure hope no one mentions it to Jimmy Carter and Hugo Chavez!

More products I didn't know I needed

No joke - Snoop Dogg Branded Dog Toys and Dog Apparel to Launch on
JAKKS Pacific, Inc. announced today that its new line of Snoop Dogg branded pet products is expected to be available for pre-order on on November 21st, to coincide with the release of the highly anticipated new Snoop Dogg CD,Tha Blue Carpet Treatment. The Snoop Dogg pet line, marketed by JAKKS(R)' JPI Pets(TM) division, features dog toys, apparel and accessories inspired by the iconic Doggfather himself, including items featuring a sound chip that plays signature Snoop Dogg phrases.
Be still my heart.
Snoop Dogg says about his new pet products line, "Go get some quick,dogg-gone-it! 'Cuz Snoop Dogg said so. Bow Wow!"
The first assortment in the Snoop Dogg line-up includes a DJ Headset, Boom Box, Dogg Bone and Football, all of which are double stitched and made from durable plush and ballistic fabrics for safe and fun play for dogs. From a Boom Box and Doberman Plush Toy that play bona fide sound clips of Snoop Dogg himself, to a Canvas Bone with a squeaker, Snoop Dogg toys keep dogs and their hip hop loving owners grooving together. Suggested retail prices range from $5.99-8.99.
Too bad they don't have a chew toy that resembles ole Snoop.
The Snoop Dogg clothing assortment from JPI Pets launching on personifies the iconic rapper's style with a hip hop and urban feel. Styles in the first assortment include a Snoop Dogg doggie Basketball Jersey, animal print Faux Fur Coat and a Doggfather Hoodie Sweatshirt. All dog apparel are available in a variety of sizes from extra small to extra large, creating a walking fashion statement for fans of the Hip Hop legend and their dogs. Suggested retail price range from $12.99-$24.99.
Don't y'all snap these up before I get a chance to order!

Hmm, there are possibilities in this. How about John Murtha dog accessories featuring a "Suitcase O' Cash" chew toy and a cute little sheik outfit? Not to mention a doggie pooper scooper sack with ole John's mug on it.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Pretty boy John Edwards gets spanked by Wal Mart

Wal-Mart To Sen. John Edwards: No PS3 For You!:

In a statement from Wal-Mart today, former Senator John Edwards had a staffer contact the electronics manager in a Raleigh, North Carolina store to try and get his hands on a PlayStation 3. Problem was, later that night he reportedly told a story to people on a United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW) union-sponsored call that his son had ridiculed a classmate about his shoes, which were purchased at Wal-Mart.
Must be great to rub the other kids noses in the fact that your father is a wealthy ambulance chaser. Anyhow:
The Company noted the PlayStation 3 is an extremely popular item this Christmas season, and while the rest of America’s working families are waiting patiently in line, Senator Edwards wants to cut to the front. While, we cannot guarantee that Sen. Edwards will be among one of the first to obtain a PlayStation 3, we are certain Sen. Edwards will be able to find great gifts for everyone on his Christmas list - many at Wal-Mart’s “roll-back prices.”
He's a man of the people fer sure. At least that's what he tells the servants.

Monday, November 13, 2006


The Aussies must have been thinking of me

Australia's CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation) demonstrates some useful technology:
CSIRO has ‘built’ a shirt which could fulfil the fantasy of anyone who has, in the privacy of their homes, jammed along with one of rock ‘n roll’s great lead guitarists.

Led by engineer Dr Richard Helmer a team of researchers at CSIRO Textiles and Fibre Technology in Geelong has created a ‘wearable instrument shirt’ (WIS) which enables users to play an ‘air guitar’ simply by moving one arm to pick chords and the other to strum the imaginary instrument’s strings.

“Freedom of movement is a great feature of these textile-based interfaces,” Dr Helmer says.

”Our air guitar consists of a wearable sensor interface embedded in a conventional 'shirt' which uses custom software to map gestures with audio samples.

“It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music making – even by players without significant musical or computing skills. It allows you to jump around and the sound generated is just like an original mp3.”
Dang, I'll be a star!

What's wrong with this picture?

Climatologists hit the skies to talk global warming:
A group of climate scientists from the UK's Met Office have flown to Nairobi to meet colleagues from around the world to discuss climate research and present their most recent findings.
[The climatologists are not stupid: they know where the good weather is in November - Ed]
I bet they'll serve beans at the gala event too.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Thanking our veterans

I was traveling yesterday and thus a day late for Veterans Day. God bless our veterans and our troops and keep them from harm from our enemies foreign and domestic.

veterans day 2006

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Now I remember who James Webb reminds me of!

I was getting a laugh out of the takedown of raving Mike Stark, the Chief Bicycle Seat Sniffer in Donk Senate candidate James Webb's Flying Monkey corps as he made a frenzied rush at the opposition candidate, when it finally occurred to me who James Webb reminds me of. You know, the round pumpkin head, the weird pompadour, and the little beady eyes plus the fact that he has "issues" dealing with women and intense interest in peculiar sexual practices. Yep, who else but Kim Jong Il!

James Webb, separated at birth from Kim Jung Il?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Would be Democrat Senator from Maryland, Ben Cardin, gets a real whupping:
Did you see that debate on television the Maryland Senate race between the Republican Michael Steele and the Democrat Ben Cardin? Steele ate Cardin alive! Ate him for lunch! And as a result, Cardin didn't show up for a debate the next day.
Also, is there a nastier piece of work than ole Pumpkin Head, er Democrat Senatorial Candidate James Webb in Virginia? It's sad though that he had to give up his old pals on Facebook. I'm sure he's quite the party animal.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I wish I had me some of that there Global Warming 'bout now

I don't know about where you are, but here in the South land temperatures are twenty degrees below normal and as I found out this morning when I was down on the lower forty, that's right cold. Since the Global Warming neurotics get their panties in a knot every time there's a hot spell or a rain storm I wonder how they can account for it. I suspect that they'd say it was Global Warming too and that I'd recognize that if only I were a mite more "sophistercated." Does this mean that Al Gore will show up and break wind?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Must read - Guaranteed income generating plan!

How To Get Rich Quick In Shady Land Deals Like Harry Reid:
Well dream no more, friend, because today I am going to let you in on one of the great secrets of American business (and the mainstream media): The Harry Reid Do-Nothing Miracle Investment System! Through this system, you can sit back and watch the cash roll in from questionable desert real estate investments with the sort of reliability that only government can provide. The system is as simple as it is hidden through shell corporations, nepotism and political contributions. Yes, there are just three easy steps to mogul-like millions in Las Vegas real estate:

1. Find a parcel of land made undesirable by government environmental regulation, utility leases, or simple pesky zoning!
2. Hire a Reid, invest with a Reid, contribute to a Reid, but above all, know a Reid!
3. Be patient while Sen. Harry “Papa” Reid does NOTHING UNUSUAL on your behalf and watch those government barriers to wealth melt away!

Got a stupid endangered tortoise on your worthless land? Let Harry Reid show the BLM a real “shell game” as that value-killing protected habitat is inexplicably moved miles away!

Want to build a primo strip mall in a residential area? Just have a “Casino Lawyer” drop Papa Reid’s name like a severed horse’s head into the silk sheets of local government. Bada-bing! The zoning changes almost as fast as the value of the land!

Bought thousands of acres of land ruined by a pre-existing government power line lease? Just pick up your personal “power line” to Harry Reid and watch with glee as he does NOT use his influence to push a special bill through Congress. ZAP! The federal right-of-way is moved right out of your way … instant millions!
Hey, you wanna make some loot, call a wiseguy! And who's wiser in Nevada than the Oddfather and the famous Reid crime family.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Monday, October 16, 2006

News you can lose

Reuters embeds reporter in Sadville
It has been brought to our attention that we have failed to cast our usual withering scorn on the news that Reuters has assigned a full-time reporter to Second Life, the alternative universe in which people can live out their dreams of being a furry penis.

Or something like that. Perhaps we misunderstood.

We do like to keep you happy, and as you know would ordinarily leap upon something like this and tear small strips from it with our vulturey beaks.

But, gentle readers, some things are beyond parody.

Heck, it probably beats the usual al-Reuters gig of being embedded with Islamic terrorists.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Oddfather, Part IV

I love sequels, don't you? And what's better than another organized crime story featuring the sinister Oddfather and his goofy clan?

The Reid Crime Family of Las Vegas including Harry Reid, Rory Reid, Leif Reid, Josh Reid, Key Reid, and Steven Barringer


Here's yesterday's teaser trailer:
Once again, we discover why the Democrats quietly dropped their "culture of corruption" theme for the upcoming midterms. The AP catches Harry Reid without a disclosure on real-estate deals that netted him $700,000 in profit...

In fact, this isn't a new development for Harry Reid. Less than two months ago, I wrote about Reid's questionable involvement and compensation in a related real-estate deal outside of Las Vegas, and the post turned into a column for the New York Post. Harvey Whittemore, a lobbyist and real-estate investor, plied Reid with campaign contributions and employed Reid's family members -- and in exchange, Reid did a number of favors that allowed Whittemore to realize large profits at the expense of environmental regulations that Reid helped Whittemore bulldoze.
What did Reid get in exchange for all of this support? According to the Times, Whittemore contributed $45,000 to Reid and his PACs since 2000. He also gave the DSCC $20,000 in 2000, when it pushed Reid as a leader for the party in the Senate. Reid's son Josh got $5,000 for his unsuccessful campaign for a city council seat; his other son Rory got $5,000 for his successful effort to win a spot on the Clark County Board of Commissioners.
Gosh, it's even got "Little Dingy" and "Melon Balls" in the thick of the action!

If that's not exciting enough, there's a new trailer out today:
Harry Reid, stung by the AP's exposure of his complicated land deals with a lobbyist he helped make rich through his personal interventions in Congress, has told the Senate Ethics Committee that he will file amended disclosure statements that would reveal his business relationships for the first time. Reid claims the amendment would be "technical."
I can just see the steely glint in Harry Reid's eye and that bold outthrust chin while he says, "It's technical." Boy, this is going to be exciting.

For collectors:

The Oddfather
The Oddfather, Part II
The Oddfather, Part III

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Fun with the cleaning lady:

Frankly, I've never seen Madeleine Albright looking so good. The only thing missing is Jimmy Carter (aka Miserable Failure) giving Kim Jong Il a tongue bath.

Wait there's more:

Madeleine Albright pretends to be a diplomat

It's our favorite moonbats again

Yep, the religion of perpetually aggrieved ignorance:

According to a report on The Middle East Media Research Institute, Apple's NY Fifth Avenue store has been slammed by "an Islamic website" as a "new insult to Islam".

The reason? Well, it resembles the Muslims' sacred Ka'ba, situated in the Masjid al-Haram mosque in Mecca:

The "Islamic website" claims that since the offending structure is known as the "Apple Mecca", and "contains bars selling alcoholic beverages", it constitutes "a blatant insult to Islam". The site accordingly calls on Muslims to spread the word in the hope that "Muslims will be able to stop the project".
Aside from the Apple info being BS, I don't see what why they have their caftans in a twist:

Apple Store vs Kaaba

Update: Sheesh, it looks like it's all Mark Morford's fault. Based on the comments to his post, the Queen of San Francisco Sex Toys finally found some folks whose derangement is greater than his.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I guess I missed out on Muslim Jeopardy

Too bad, it sounds like a hoot:
Popular morning host Dave Ryan at Minneapolis radio station KDWB took a satirical whack at the jihadist mania that has America in its sights. Ryan postulated a "Muslim Jeopardy" game show that was, as they say in show business, inspired by a true story (or two). The folks at CAIR have successfully extracted the usual apology on behalf of the religion of perpetual outrage.
Oh well, there's always MAD TV's rendition of Al Jazeera:

Today's Hoot!

Malibu Poop Patrol Makes a Stink With Celebs:
Health officials plan to use DNA testing to reveal the poopy perpetrators behind the sewage fouling Malibu's famously star-studded coastline, the Associated Press reports.

"This is going to get messy," predicts Mark Pestrella, the public works official assigned to the project.
Humorous too.
There are an estimated 2,400 septic tanks in this city of mansions strung along 25 miles of coast — many of which are buried in the backyards of the estates of environmentally-minded celebs like Tom Hanks, Sting and Barbra Streisand — and authorities suspect these tanks are responsible for the rise in disease-causing bacteria levels in the ocean after heavy rains.

Malibu's famously wealthy residents are notoriously private and defend their right to use the septic tanks, and many deny their tanks are the source of the problem.

But the poopy patrol isn't buying it, and this time they are getting serious. They're going to use DNA testing and court warrants to hunt down the leaky septic tanks — starting with the most flush-happy of the bunch, like restaurants and Streisand's former abode — and identify offenders.
Woohoo! Who knew Babs' palace had a plethora of poopers?
"When the results of these tests come back, I'll bet that once again we'll find that it's people's meat addiction, not their septic tanks, is causing this pollution," Malibu actress/activist Pamela Anderson wrote in an email. "The best thing any of us can do to fight pollution is to adopt a vegetarian diet."
While they're doing the DNA tests, maybe they could do a few other tests.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Another dirty blue dress

Don Surber:
The tape and the report come a weekend after Bill Clinton wagged his finger and said he tried to get that man, that Osama bin Laden. This tape is a stained blue dress to that lie.
Story and video here - The laughing 9/11 bombers.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Breaking news! Bears do sh*t in the woods!

Wildlife Waste Is Major Water Polluter, Studies Say:

Does a bear leave its waste in the woods?

Of course. So do geese, deer, muskrats, raccoons and other wild animals. And now, such states as Virginia and Maryland have determined that this plays a significant role in water pollution.

Scientists have run high-tech tests on harmful bacteria in local rivers and streams and found that many of the germs -- and in the Potomac and Anacostia rivers, a majority of them-- come from wildlife dung. The strange proposition that nature is apparently polluting itself has created a serious conundrum for government officials charged with cleaning up the rivers.
I'm shocked, I tell ya! Who knew those pesky pooping critters were ecologically irresponsible?
"They're pooping in the water," said Chuck Frederickson, an environmentalist who is keeper of the James River, gazing at geese slurping algae off river rocks one recent day. He said the goose population is an obstacle to improving the river: "Do we want less bacteria in the water, or do we want geese around?"

But it is one thing to blame wild animals for pollution and another to figure out how to get them to stop.
How about getting those perpetually unemployed Hurricane Katrina refugees to slap diapers on the critters and then change them regularly? Sounds like a win-win to me. Of course they'd have to be those eco-friendly cloth diapers and I suppose we'd need a special diaper wash, but I'm sure the taxpayers won't mind laying out the dough to make the rivers cleaner than Mother Nature does. Hmm, I'm not quite sure what the ecoweenies can do about the fish, though.

More seriously, do you think it'll ever occur to these goof balls that nature isn't like a Disney movie and that there's a certain amount of mess involved and the temperature isn't always perfectly regulated?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Having fun with today's favorite bogus cause

Most speeches in the US Senate are eminently forgettable, but one worth your time is Sen. James Inhofe's takedown of global warming on Monday. One of my favorite parts:
Many in the media, as I noted earlier, have taken it upon themselves to drop all pretense of balance on global warming and instead become committed advocates for the issue.

Here is a quote from Newsweek magazine:

“There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production– with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth.”

A headline in the New York Times reads: “Climate Changes Endanger World’s Food Output.” Here is a quote from Time Magazine:

“As they review the bizarre and unpredictable weather pattern of the past several years, a growing number of scientists are beginning to suspect that many seemingly contradictory meteorological fluctuations are actually part of a global climatic upheaval.”

All of this sounds very ominous. That is, until you realize that the three quotes I just read were from articles in 1975 editions of Newsweek Magazine and The New York Times, and Time Magazine in 1974.

They weren’t referring to global warming; they were warning of a coming ice age.

Let me repeat, all three of those quotes were published in the 1970’s and warned of a coming ice age.

In addition to global cooling fears, Time Magazine has also reported on global warming. Here is an example:

“[Those] who claim that winters were harder when they were boys are quite right… weathermen have no doubt that the world at least for the time being is growing warmer.”

Before you think that this is just another example of the media promoting Vice President Gore’s movie, you need to know that the quote I just read you from Time Magazine was not a recent quote; it was from January 2, 1939.

Yes, in 1939. Nine years before Vice President Gore was born and over three decades before Time Magazine began hyping a coming ice age and almost five decades before they returned to hyping global warming.

Time Magazine in 1951 pointed to receding permafrost in Russia as proof that the planet was warming.

In 1952, the New York Times noted that the “trump card” of global warming “has been the melting glaciers.”
It's deja vu all over again, I guess.
Since 1895, the media has alternated between global cooling and warming scares during four separate and sometimes overlapping time periods. From 1895 until the 1930’s the media peddled a coming ice age.

From the late 1920’s until the 1960’s they warned of global warming. From the 1950’s until the 1970’s they warned us again of a coming ice age. This makes modern global warming the fourth estate’s fourth attempt to promote opposing climate change fears during the last 100 years.
I figure Ook the witch doctor ran from cave to cave in the Stone Age peddling similar nostrums. There's something inherently satisfying to busybodies in saying that some vast force will punish you if don't do what they say is best. Oh well, not to worry, Pres. Ahmadinejad told the United Nations that the 12th Imam is due shortly.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Hugo does the Big Apple

Maricon Hugo Chavez goes to New York City

If there's anything good about having the United Nations in New York City, it's that periodically the various Third World dictators take time out from abusing their subjects and drop by to show the American citizenry up close and personal what kind of moonbats they are:
In case you somehow missed it, Venezuelan dictator, Hugo Chavez, provided entertainment for the United Nations body this week. After Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad clearly disappointed the United Nations body with his uncharacteristically (and ridiculously) sappy “we love everyone, even Jews--so why can’t we have nukes” speech, the United Nations was desperate for fireworks and entertainment of some sort from somebody.

Since Ahmadinejad had been muzzled by France, who is hoping to keep Iran’s nuclear ambitions off the U.N. Security Council table, enter Cindy Sheehan’s president of choice, Hugo Chavez, stage right.

Chavez opened the show with a brilliant rendition of Noam Chomsky’s World, calling upon every member of the United Nations to read America's best known socialist at first chance, holding up his favorite Chomsky book as though it were the Bible for good governance, or just proof that he could read. He then ripped into his biggest applause line of the show with "Yesterday, the devil [President Bush] came here. Right here! Right here! And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of."

If you listened closely, it wasn’t so much applause he received, but laughter. Even the room full of international thugs and fellow third world dictators were amused by the idea that the dancing monkey from South America would waltz before a world body in New York City with Noam Chomsky in hand and begin to belch such vitriolic spears at the American president, world-wide television audience looking on. It was more like a Richard Prior concert than a speech from a world leader seeking a seat at the U.N. Security Council.

Laughing at Hugo Chavez

I suppose, but at the UN it's mostly comedy anyway, so it's hard to tell. But wait, there's more:

The following day, Chavez appeared again, this time in Harlem. Hollywood socialist big shot Danny Glover crawled out from behind his Beverly Hills security gates to open the show and Chavez returned for a encore performance of his best applause line from the day before, getting an even better response from Harlem residents as he warmed up the cheering crowd who were about to be sold a fat dose of “let the communist save you from the capitalists.”

Then Chavez delivered the death blow as he stood before adoring friends and fans, offering cheap South American oil for the oncoming winter, in a brotherly act of charity towards Harlem’s down-trodden who have been so horribly mistreated by the evils of capitalism. Chavez, the knight in shining armor on silver steed, was in Harlem to save the day and as one might have predicted, Harlem welcomed their new gift-bearing savior with open arms. Not a single person in that room wondered why Harlem was singled out to receive such generous acts of commie kindness--let alone what strings might be attached.

Now I must point out that this man is the leader of a nation of more than 25 million people, 47% of whom live below the poverty line, (and their poverty line is well below that of the United States or even Harlem). Venezuela currently enjoys a 12.2% unemployment rate as opposed to Americas 4.7% rate. The country also has a 16% inflation rate at present and its entire country is completely dependent upon the petrol exports of $2.1 million per day, over 50% of which is bought by the good old USA. For those who need pictures to keep up: America no buy oil, Venezuela no have country, Hugo no have el-job-o.

One might wonder why Chavez is worried about Harlem when he clearly has much bigger problems at home.
In particular, the impoverished Venezuelans must wonder why ole Hugo is giving away their cash, but they still haven't shot him. Yet. Which reminds me:

Dont buy gas from this ass - Hugo Chavez

But I digress, and the best was yet to come: Democrat House leader Nancy Pelosi and representative Charles Rangel from Harlem felt having the dancing monkey parrot their favorite lines was bad for business with an election coming up and of course they're right. Aside from a few moonbats beloved by the Democrat party, Americans don't particularly care to see a puffed-up foreign lunatic running his mouth over the President and if he's reading from the DNC playbook, what does it say about the Donks?

Donk act stolen by Hugo Chavez

Now Chavez, like his pals Castro, Morales, Ahmadinejad, and Mugabe, is looser than lamb poop, but why did he choose this particular time to go off on a bender? I'm surprised that none of the leftoids have come up with the obvious solution:

Rove, you magnificent bastard

Bwahahaha. Thanks, Hugo.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Google is watching you

Dutch TV hounds Google Earth topless sunbather:
Here's a cautionary tale for those of you who like to indulge in a bit of light sunbathing in the privacy of your own patio: make sure you ring Google to see if they're planning a satellite pass-over before whipping off your top.
Dutch TV quickly identified the address and moved in for the kill, dispatching a team armed with grabs from Google Earth to the sun-worshipping resident's domicile. Luckily for her, she wasn't in.
Click through for the photo which I suppose is technically NSFW, but could just as easily be an inflatable. The satellite resolution isn't that good. Yet.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Today's Hoot!

CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) chairman Guy Fournier recently told a French-language radio station that bowel movements are better than sex. [...]

Mr. Fournier recounted a train trip in the early 1960s during which a friend named Michel said going number two was as pleasurable as having sex.

"From that moment, I started paying closer attention -- and I have to tell you, I quickly realized that Michel was entirely right," Mr. Fournier said.
That would also explain a lot of what one sees on the CBC.

The original article also explains that the reason Mr. Fournier was being interviewed by the radio station was to make amends for having previously made the claim (which he found on the Internet) that:
In Lebanon, the law allows men to have sexual relations with animals as long as they are female! Doing the same thing with male beasts can result in the death penalty."

That explains the remainder of CBC content.

Never bet on the weather if you never go outside

Fund Flameout:
Hedge fund giant Amaranth Advisors was clinging to life yesterday as its traders scrambled to sell holdings after a harebrained wager on natural gas cost the firm roughly half of its $9.5 billion portfolio - the second hedge fund disaster this month caused by the volatile energy markets.
After studying weather patterns and other data, Amaranth made an enormous wrong-way bet that a Katrina-like hurricane would cause the difference between summer and winter natural gas prices to widen dramatically.

Instead, a mild hurricane season caused that spread to collapse, wiping out about $5 billion in value.

"I can't believe they bet the whole fund on a hurricane," said one energy trader.

Looks like the city folks' computer told 'em it was going to be a really hot year. I wonder if ole Al Gore was helping 'em out?

Sunday, September 17, 2006

It's the ROPB again

Religion of Persistent Brutality. I bet that really buffed up their their rep down at the madrassa.

Best response yet. How long before folks figure out that you can't reason with mad dogs?

The Nostradamus award goes to Rod Liddle (via Tim Blair's TALIBAN FEELINGS HURT):
You can bet your life that by the time you read this, some Catholic priest toiling away in a godforsaken, dusty hellhole — Sudan, perhaps, or Turkey — will have been smacked about a bit, or had his church burnt down or been arrested without charge. The Pope should have been aware that Islam always reacts to western allegations that it is not a peaceful religion by mass outbreaks of vituperation, denunciation and acts of jihadic violence.

That this is a paradox seems not to be even remotely recognised by many Muslims. Commenting on the Pope’s speech, Tasnim Aslam, a spokeswoman for the Pakistani foreign ministry, came out with this little piece of doublethink beauty: "Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence."
See, they even foam at the mouth.

Edward R. Murrow should have joined the SS

That way he could have been a "good journalist" like the folks over at the Associated Press.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Never forget, never forgive

Have you forgotten 9/11?

And we also haven't forgotten the bizarre collection of spineless loons who not only have forgotten, but who are actively counseling surrender.

Spineless Ned Lamont remembers 9/11

(Hat tip: Registered)

But for all the talking hairdos like Ned Lamont, there's the coterie of pondscum behind him that are perpetually enthusiastic about dishonoring the victims of Islamofascist terrorism. Here's a brief rogue's gallery, but we all know who they are. They only question is how they can look at themselves in the mirror.

Ned Lamont and his friends

Kerry and Edwards - if they only had a brain

Jimmy Carter, lying fool

Ted Kennedy, crazed lush

Crooked John Murtha

Patty Murray, Burka Babe

Baghdad Jim McDermott

Dick Durbin, or is it Turban?

I'm beginning to notice a pattern, aren't you? Remember it on election day.

Friday, September 08, 2006

There's just no fun in "global warming"

Usually, I'm in complete agreement with Australian PM, John Howard, but I think he missed out on a great opportunity here. Girlie global warming show too hot for Australia:
The Australian government has withdrawn funding for a climate change conference after organisers booked lingerie models for a raunchy dinner show.

Conservative Prime Minister John Howard on Friday described the risque entertainment as "not appropriate" and two government departments withdrew funding totalling A$8,000 (US$6,000) from the event late Thursday.

Local media reported that a number of female scientists walked out of Wednesday night's dinner at the Australia-New Zealand Climate Forum in protest.

"I am appalled at what happened and the inappropriateness of the entertainment," Environment Minister Ian Campbell said.

The show consisted of lingerie-clad women inviting hot-under-the-collar guests to pop balloons attached to their costumes as they made suggestive remarks.
Woo hoo! How about, "Is that Al Gore in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" Or, "Just call me Gaia, the earth mother. Wanna get earthy?"
Dancer Rebecca Gale said the balloon dance was harmless "bump, grind and shimmy" that did not include any nudity.

"There was not even midriff on display," she told Australian television. "It's just been blown so far out of proportion."
That didn't keep AFP from illustrating it with a bare midriff file photo though, which you'll see by clicking the link.

(Hat tip: Global Warming News Site where global warming humor is regularly displayed unintentionally.)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I guess we don't get to see all the details

ABC should have done it right in the first place, which is damning enough, and then told the Donk saber rattlers to stuff it. It would have been a "hot" story even if they didn't have that bureaucrat's wet dream, Jamie Gorelick, building the "wall" (1, 2, 3) so as not to offend any terrorists.

Anyway, I'm with the Curmudgeon:
Yeah, well the left are always surprised and incredulous if the Drive-by Media, of which ABC News is a charter member, doesn't tow the official party line, so I, like you, am surprised and incredulous too, LOL.

Today's Hoot!

Democratic Senators Hug Their Beloved Pal, Joe Lieberman.:
Right now, all across the left side of the blogosphere, there are undoubtedly keyboards being pounded, Indigo Girls CDs being thrown across living rooms, and doves who won't even swat mosquitoes are wishing horrible and foul dooms on half the Senators in their own party.


Because of the enormous wet, sloppy, kiss the Dems in the Senate figuratively planted on Joe Lieberman.

Just imagine the reaction Jane "Rape Gurney Joe" Hamsher and Kos must have had when they read this...
Follow the link for all the messy details and imagine how messy it will be when Joe gets re-elected as an independent.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Darn those pesky citizens!

It seems that over in the UK, they're having a spot of trouble with participatory democracy coupled with the Internet - British MP falls foul of wiki-d pranksters:
A British Government Minister may have thought he was keeping up with modern trends when he put a draft policy on the Internet on Friday, but he was soon left red-faced when hundreds of pranksters defaced it.

Weblogging, techno-savvy Environment Secretary David Miliband, tipped as a bright young spark in Prime Minister Tony Blair's administration, had put a draft "environment contract" on his department's website, setting out social responsibilities for people, government and businesses.

But embarrassed administrators were forced to haul it down after more than 170 cyber-jokers trashed the document by adding in bizarre paragraphs for fun.

The page used "wiki" editing techniques, which allow readers to alter the content.
While there were some monkeyshines, a number of additions rather improved it:
Under a list of things citizens should do, one wag added: "Pay a higher proportion of their income to the government, and see little tangible improvement in their standard of living".

One passage said everyone had the capacity to tackle environmental problems, but that people were too often dissuaded by "doubts about whether our actions will make any difference".

One joker swiftly tagged on: "Besides which we just can't help but meddle, interfere, impose our views on others, and generally use taxpayers' resources in ways that are wasteful except in our own self-aggrandisement".
I guess the little people just don't understand the big picture even when the swells explain it to them carefully. Of course, there's an alternative explanation.

Friday, September 01, 2006

It'll fit right in at any modern art gallery

“Babies mostly breastfeed for the first four months, so a baby’s first meal of solid food may be a baby’s first meal at the dinner table,” said David Kesting, director of Capla Kesting Fine Art. “A bronzed cast of baby’s first poop can be a meaningful memento for the family.” Suri’s bronzed baby poop will be exhibited under a display case until the ebay auction ends, explains Kesting, but he admits they’ve commissioned artist Daniel Edwards to produce a limited edition plaster replica.

Casting of the baby poop with a bronze finish and mounted on a base that includes a brass plate engraved with baby Suri’s name, comes at a time when Tom Cruise is increasingly known for his eccentricity. Capla Kesting Fine Art assures the trend for bronzing baby poop isn’t so eccentric and simply follows the popularity of the critically acclaimed children’s book, “Everybody Poops”.
Hmm, what did I do with the enhanced video of ole Tom on the Oprah show?

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Where's my tinfoil beanie?

Feds arrest 15 aliens at Roswell! I guess I shouldn't have been so skeptical. Er, hold on a sec:
It appears that the black helicopter brigade were right all along about Area 51, since US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) operatives this week arrested 15 aliens at the facility who were, chillingly, in the process of painting military aircraft when the net closed.

That's according to an official ICE report under the splendid headline "ICE arrests 15 aliens in Roswell working for US military contractor".

The aliens in question were described as "determined to be illegally residing and working in the United States" and will be sent back to their place of origin.
Just doing the jobs no Earthlings will do, I guess.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Party poopers!

China bans strippers at funerals:
China has added strippers at funerals to its burgeoning list of proscribed activities, the BBC reports.

Bare-assed ladies are apparently deployed at rural send-offs to boost mourner numbers, since "large crowds are seen as a mark of honour".
And just to make sure the ban sticks, the powers that be have set up a hotline where concerned citizens can earn cash rewards for reporting "funeral misdeeds".
Nobody likes a snitch!
We gather that strippers are commonly seen at Taiwanese funerals, where explicit displays are accompanied by hard-core commentary on the deceased's virility. Taiwanese lottery winners also hire strippers to disrobe in temples as a mark of gratitude for their good fortune. The Church of England might like to consider this practice as a way of boosting congregations.
The Donks ought to check Cindy Sheehan's availability. It won't work for normal folks, but it will sure get their base all steamy.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Second Hoot!

Meanwhile in the Holy City of Coral Gables, Steve (pbuh) says Hurricane Season is Dead:
I keep checking Weather Underground for hurricane information. Absolutely nothing is happening. Idiots who actually want storms to form are getting emotional over the teasing now.

The water out there is at or below normal temperatures. Gee, what happened to global warming? Well, as a reader pointed out in a comment, cool water is actually a sign that global warming is real. So is hot water. Hot weather is caused by global warming. Cool weather is caused by global warming. And when the weather doesn't change at all? That's global warming at work. And Bush caused it. Unless it turns out to be a good thing. Then it happened in spite of Bush. And if we don't impeach him, it will go away.
More hijinks by following the link, but I'm really bummed that that there aren't any virgin sacrifices in the offing to appease the Weather GodsTM. Maybe we could get Al Gore to wear a grass skirt and just pretend?

Code Red "Well, duh!" Alert

Hezbollah night-vision gear was from Britain:
Israeli intelligence officials have complained to Britain and the United States that sensitive night-vision equipment recovered from Hezbollah fighters during the war in Lebanon had been exported by Britain to Iran. British officials said the equipment had been intended for use in a U.N. anti-narcotics campaign.
The spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Britain participates, through the U.N. drug-fighting agency, in Iran's interception program, which is run by anti-narcotics forces along the country's eastern border with Afghanistan and Pakistan, both major opium poppy-growing countries.

"We've been encouraging the Iranians as part of their anti-narcotics program, and there was an export in 2003 ... as part of the heroin and opium smuggling program. This is an area where we try not to let the nuclear issue prevent cooperation on countering narcotics," he said, referring to Iran's dispute with the United Nations over its nuclear enrichment program.
Good thing they didn't ask for any jet fighters or tanks to counter those pesky drug traffickers.
In the early phases of the Israeli ground advance against Hezbollah positions across the border region, commanders complained to their superiors that nighttime operations had been hampered by the ability of Hezbollah fighters to observe and counter the Israeli moves. In more than six days of bitter fighting around the village of Mis-a-Jebel, the Israeli army lost six soldiers, and more than 20 were injured.
"You can also record what you are watching. Then it is connected to computers. You can obtain a perfect intelligence picture in real time about the situation. It is then connected to firing systems or to units that are going to act in accordance with the intelligence they are receiving," Radowicz said during the briefing.

"It is a system that we can find in every serious army in the world."

"In every village which served as the regional command, you can find the same unit --intelligence, weapons systems, command and control and connection -- with the units which are firing or using the mobile platforms (for firing rockets) for targeting Israel," he said.
What do you bet the Iranians didn't even have to pay for the units either?

Bill Johnson notices that the emperor is starkers

Karr may be crazy, but he's not the right man:
I've had enough. So I will just come right out and say what others in this business apparently will not:

Mary Lacy, that's not your boy.

John Mark Karr as much killed JonBenet Ramsey as Mickey Mouse did. This is a fool's errand you're on, and it won't end pretty.
What I'm saying is no different than anyone capable of reading a newspaper or watching a television is saying.
Most journalists in this town and across the globe have been falling over themselves trying not to - in the words of Mrs. Lacy - "rush to judgment" on this fool, all the while rupturing an intestine to keep from laughing.

Not me. I can barely get up off the floor.
I think it's neat the way Karr looks and acts like Ned Lamont without a suntan.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Am I the only person who believes that if Kofi Annan had been the detective in charge of the Simpson murder, he would have had the corpse of Nicole Simpson arrested for the crime?
Only after he emptied all the pockets, stripped off all the jewelry, and pried out the teeth with fillings.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Don't tell Congress!

West Virginia might get another Robert Byrd Research Center so that the USA can keep up - S.Korea Wants People in 'Smart' Clothes:
Technology-savvy South Korea isn't happy making only MP3 players and the memory chips that go inside many of the more popular models. It also wants people wearing South Korean "smart" clothes with built-in digital music players.

The government is backing efforts to launch the digitized apparel by the end of the year, hoping to win a top position for the country as an exporter of such clothing.
Be still my heart! I'm sure the guys down at the barber shop won't laugh as long as they look like MC Hammer pants.

Today's Hoot!

Q. What’s the definition of a moral dilemma?

A. Lefties having to choose sides: Islamic fascists or gay marriage.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

You can always count on the lefties when the going gets tough

Don’t Fight the Terrorists - Fight the Weather!:
It’s a peculiar thing that as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global warming—at least that’s what some would have us believe.

Tough, national-security language is borrowed from the former and applied to the latter to make the case: "I really consider this a national security issue,” celebrity activist and “An Inconvenient Truth” producer Laurie David said, and hoped the film would serve as a “wake-up call.”

“Truth” star Al Gore calls global warming a “planetary emergency” and speaks of a clash between “civilization and the planet.”

Likewise, Bill Clinton’s “first worry” is climate change. “It’s the only thing that I believe has the power to fundamentally end the march of civilization as we know it,” the reputedly intelligent ex-president told a World Economic Forum audience earlier this year. Leonardo DiCaprio, meanwhile, says we’re in the “11th Hour.”

No wonder that while Islamic terrorism claims lives by the thousands every year, Hollywood churns out movies about the menace of Joe McCarthy, the Crusaders, Israeli Mossad and Richard Nixon. Freud called it displacement.

Let’s be honest: people fixate on the environment when they can’t deal with real threats. Combating the climate gives the non-hawks a chance to look tough. They figure, “Let’s flex our muscle with this Mother Nature thing. Let’s take a preemptive strike at an SUV. Let’s show ‘em we can be tough too.”
Ooooo! Show us your muscles - take you hats off!

This post was carbon neutral.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Today's Hoot!

If you have a weak stomach, I recommend you avoid the tongue bath Alexandre Trudeau gives family friend Fidel Castro in today's Toronto Star.
Maybe more than a family friend since Alexandre's mother "acted as Cuban president Fidel Castro's photographer-for-a-day and is plausibly reported to have had a closer relationship with him."

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

What's old is new

An editorial in the Waterbury (CT) Republican-American - Hang in there, Sen. Lieberman:
The world is much changed since Joseph I. Lieberman upset a powerful incumbent politician and ascended to the U.S. Senate 18 years ago. Or has it? The lure of appeasement in foreign affairs seemingly was on the wane in Ronald Reagan's America, but it waxed anew Tuesday in anti-war candidate Ned Lamont's Democratic primary victory over Sen. Lieberman.

This disappointing result completed a curious reversal of the 1988 general election, in which hawkish challenger Lieberman defeated Republican Sen. Lowell P. Weicker Jr. This summer, Mr. Weicker counted himself among Mr. Lamont's supporters. Reviewing this newspaper's solitary endorsement of Mr. Lieberman -- the rest supported the incumbent -- it's easy to see why Mr. Weicker hooked up with the challenger.

Both, it turns out, are appeasers.
That's the polite term.

Today's Hoot!

BP's green gimmicks:
BP has spent the past few years trying to convince consumers that it has no real interest in producing oil. Now we learn to our dismay that the company may have been telling the truth. It has so little interest in producing oil that it permitted its pipelines in Prudhoe Bay to corrode to the point that they must be replaced, a fact that is driving oil prices through the roof.
BP's slogan, incredibly, is "beyond petroleum." And its ads mostly tout its expenditures on alternative energy, salute hand-wringing green rhetoric from what it calls "real people" and trumpet natural gas "as cleaner than coal or oil."
Here's an idea, BP: Spare us the warm and fuzzy sloganeering, stop acting as if you're ashamed of what you do - the diffidence is nauseating - and get back to the basics of business. Be an energy company proud to produce oil in Prudhoe Bay - and then do it without spills or corroded pipes.
Heck, if their oil business in Prudhoe Bay offends them so much maybe they ought to give it away.

More fun at Nutroots Puppet Theater!

Ned Lamont, the nutroots puppet

In this week's episode, Ned Lamont bloviates up so much of a storm that you'll almost be convinced that he's more than a whining hairdo. See if you can catch the nutroots puppeteers moving their lips!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Maybe I can get a job at Reuters too!

Satan Nasrallah in the smoke over Beirut

Nah. Unlike terrorist butt boy Adnan Hajj, I just don't have the right slant on things. Well, there's always the Weekly World News. Maybe I'll see ole Adnan there if he doesn't get a promotion or a better gig at al Jazeera.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Washington Post has lost it over that Internet thingie

I was getting a modest chuckle out of this WaPo item,

I ran a Google search to check out that guy from the party.


I googled that hottie.
when I spotted an offer on the sidebar - Video Mash-Up:
Welcome to the Video Mash-Up, where our readers have the opportunity to create their own interview clips opposite Post political reporter Dana Milbank. We provide the questions, you provide the answers!

First, download the MPEG2 video clip you see playing at the top of this page, using the "Download Clip" button below. Using your own editing software, cut it up any way you like and splice in your own video, according to the rules below. Then attach your finished mash-up clip to an e-mail and send it to the address below.

In a few weeks will post all videos submitted that meet the requirements below and will give viewers the opportunity to comment and rate the videos. That's not a deadline, though -- we'll keep posting new videos if we keep getting them from you.
At first ole Dana sits there like a constipated pigeon reading some typical boring political interview questions, but later on he provides some mugging for the camera (e.g. yawn, open mouthed surprise, checking non-existent watch) and starts asking about things like "... the visit to the vampire bat preserve. How's the recovery going?" Uh oh! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at the staff meeting where they thought this one up!

Now the WaPo clearly wants players to splice in their own personal clips since one of the rules is,

Submissions will be disqualified if they violate copyright or are determined to be offensive, threatening, defamatory or libelous. You must have full rights to any material you include in your submission.
but with comedy gold like this, who cares about their goofy contest when you can mash it up with clips of some bloviating airhead like Ned Lamont or Cindy Sheehan and slap it on YouTube or someplace similar? I hope Dana is prepared to see versions of this circulating up to and beyond the point he stops circulating.

Now if the New York Times would only emulate it and come out with the Maureen Dowd version!

Friday, August 04, 2006

I've never seen a rendition of "Sweet Home Alabama" quite like this

I'd never heard of the Leningrad Cowboys before either, but the Red Army choir looks kind of familiar.

Loads of Fidel fun!

(Via Babalu) Where's Fidel? I'm keeping an eye out for the old thug at Ned Lamont campaign events, myself.

Lying Ned Lamont

Jane Hamsher
Dang, that's scary!

Here's Mr. Pencil Neck trying to disassociate himself from the delusional ranting of moonbat supporter Jane Hamsher:
"I don't know anything about the blogs," he said according to Dan Balz in the Washington Post. "I'm not responsible for those. I have no comment on them."

Oh my.
He can't run from the bloggers. And he can't run from Hamsher, who has raised money for him, boosted him tirelessly, and even helped him shoot a video blog. He's their guy.
More like he's their lap dog. But wait, there's more - Lamont's spokesperson, Liz Dupont-Diehl claims:
"This is a distraction," she said. "This did not come from our campaign. Bloggers are independent entities, covering campaigns. Like reporters, they travel with campaigns and cover campaigns."
Asked if it was fair to say the Lamont campaign has actively reached out to bloggers, she said, "No."

Lieberman's camp condemned the photo and disputed Dupont-Diehl's characterization of the relationship between Lamont and liberal blogs.

"That is a shameless lie," said Dan Gerstein, a spokesman for the Senator. "Reporters don't raise money for campaigns ... There are some gray areas with reporters, but this is not one of them."

In a video posted at the popular site, Lamont himself references "friends at Firedoglake" in an interview with Hamsher. There is also a link to at Ned Lamont's official campaign web site.
Firedoglake is Hamsher's blog and as far as the cash goes:
According to the fundraising site, Hamsher and two other bloggers have raised over $50,000 for Lamont's Senate campaign.
Even more Loonie Jane Hamsher fun:
... the blogger, Jane Hamsher, has been closely involved in the Lamont campaign, even driving the campaign manager on Monday to New York for Mr. Lamont's appearance on "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central.
Maybe they thought she was just an aging groupie hanging around in hopes of a quickie? A really weird and skanky groupie.

Update: Yet more Loonie Jane Fun with Ace and JustOneMinute.

Today's Hoot!

Works on Islamofascists too.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Conan O'Brien:
Fidel Castro is still in the hospital with a serious medical condition. He still thinks communism was a good idea until he was being rushed to the hospital in a ’55 Oldsmobile.
And the doctor showed him the latest technology in the government hospital - the enema bag.

Uhoh! Ned Lamont's nutroots exposed for everyone to see!

Ned Lamont tries to cover up his exposed nutroots

Everyone's favorite pencil neck freak, Ned Lamont, is going to have to work a whole lot harder to prove that his supporters don't need a checkup from the neck up. Lotsa luck with that, Ned! Of course, since he's their lap dog, one can't help but wonder about him too. More from Allah here.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Today's Big Snooze!

Cher Flogs Off All Her Old Crap:
When most people redecorate their homes, they'll just bung down any old tatty carpet and the cheapest Ikea sofa they can find, but not Cher. To redecorate her home, Cher first has to sell off 700 bits of old tat just to make room.

That's right - you can be the proud owner of any number of crazy old crap that Cher used to own. Cher is auctioning off more than one million dollars worth of her belongings, like her bed, some of her near-pornographic stage costumes and a 500-year-old Jesus. The Cher auction looks to be the place to pick up the perfect Christmas present for the creepy homosexual or bitter red-eyed divorcee in your life.

Cher's been keeping herself to herself lately - apart from another traditional retirement announcement, or course. But it's generally agreed that a semi-reclusive Cher is preferable to seeing an old woman mong about a stage singing songs 20 years too young for her while wearing a scrap of lycra that barely covers her labia. After all, we've got Madonna for that now.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Moonbat Mom in Smoothie Horror!

Social news: When last we visited Moonbat Cindy Sheehan, the aging media whore was leading a novel celebrity fast where apparently all you could eat was dessert. Good news for her sweet tooth, bad news for her waistline:

Fat Cindy Sheehan claims to be fasting
"I want to fast some more!"

Now, however, pals of the one time photo-op princess are worried about the effects of the all-dessert diet on the ballooning bimbo and are increasingly troubled by her consuming addiction to sugary treats. Says an anonymous Code Pinko worker at the Crawford, Texas Peace House where Cindy has been parking her wide load lately, "It was darn hot and I was having an ice cream cone when Cindy saw me. It was like Moby Dick spotting Captain Ahab! She chased me around the house 3 times and when the cone fell in the dirt, she got down on all fours and lapped it up, grunting all the while. I wouldn't have minded so much if she hadn't just cleaned out the Peace House pantry and and inhaled all the Twinkies, Ring Dings, Scooter Pies and the last two 3 liter bottles of Dr. Pepper."

The peace freak politicos think there may be an upside though and are already planning a new publicity campaign blaming the humongous harpy's increasingly aberrant appearance on a Bush administration plot:

Moonbat Cindy Sheehan suffering from smoothie addiction

Stay tuned.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Today's hoot!

Ben Stein:
Is Walter Cronkite a man who deserves to be honored for his contributions to American life? Absolutely.

But for the record, all of those contributions should be honored, however unintentional. For Fox News and every conservative radio show, magazine, website, and editorial page to succeed they had to have an audience. Walter Cronkite, with his relentless, decades-long delivery of his liberal world view as "the way it is" created that audience almost single-handedly.

Thanks, Uncle Walter. What would conservatives have done without you?
Crazy Uncle Wally - The most trusted east end of a horse going west in America.

Cindy Sheehan's Secret Plan

You may have heard that Cindy Sheehan was spending some of the insurance money she got for the death of her hero son on 5 acres in Crawford, Texas where she and her wingnut pals can hang out for photo-ops with the national press. Guess again:

Cindy Sheehan's Diner for Celebrity Fasters

Heck, why not? An aging media whore has to look out for number one!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Punchline only from Fraters Libertas:
Hurry fellas, a classy dame like that isn't going to be on the market for long.
Click through for the setup and no worries, it doesn't involve Cindy Sheehan.

What a tool

Glenn Greenwald
Don't ever let Glenn Greenwald show you his "Magic Boyfriend"

There's something funny about goofy lefty blogger Glenn Greenwald ... er, actually there are a lot of things funny about ole Glenn, but one of them is that he has so many pals that sound just like him and post blog comments defending him from the same IP address that he uses. Wuzzadem explains it all with yet more socks.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Pucker up for a big wet kiss from our pals

The poster in the back of the White House with "ISLAM WILL DOMINATE" is a nice touch too. Oh yeah, al-Reuters tells us that this is "supporters of Lebanon" protesting outside the Israeli consulate in New York. Golly, you could have fooled me! I would have said it It looks more like the usual Islamic terrorist fanboys.

Can't teach an old hag new tricks

Snow To Helen Thomas: "Thank You For The Hezbollah View". Video here.

The things you can find on Google Earth

I don't have a lot of time for looking for oddities from space via Google Earth, but apparently they are some folks that do and look what they found in China:
Those among you who like your skies darkened by black helicopters are invited to mosey on down to the remote Chinese village of Huangyangtan which hosts what must be the strangest military installation ever spotted by the Google Earth Community.
Zooming in for a closer look, we have what appears to be a 900x700m (about 3000 x 2300 feet - ed.) scale model of a mountainous landscape complete with lakes, valleys and snow-capped peaks
Don't, however, spend the next three days scouring the world's mountain ranges trying to find a geographical match: the legwork has already been done for you by this enterprising Google Earth Community member who correctly identified the model as representing this disputed area on the Chinese/Indian border.
Click through for the pictures and theories about why the Chicoms would go to all the trouble to build this. It may really be a pilot training aid, but my theory is they're building a really big model train layout for Jung Il Kim.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Now that's cool

From across the pond comes Turn off the aircon and take off your clothes:
As UK temperatures head for a possible all-time high, British unions have called for UK companies to adopt a more relaxed dress code, the BBC reports.
Ecoweenie whining skipped. You'd think these prats had never heard of a hot summer day.
Barber cited the example of Japanese prime minister Junichiro Koizumi, who has "urged his country not to wear jackets and ties during summer" - for Japanese business a concession pretty well equivalent to Brit managers suggesting employees sit naked in the office drinking beer and smoking marijuana.
Woohoo! I'd attach more credence to the analogy though, if it didn't appear that the average British office was..., er, rather relaxed:
It's official: the UK office is a steaming cauldron of sexual desire in which colleagues exchange flirtatious emails and smouldering looks as a ritual prelude to forming the work-based beast with two backs.

That, at least, is according to research by the Aziz Corporation, which concludes that not only have one third of Brits had a "fling" with a fellow worker, but that the majority of managers consider the practice "perfectly acceptable".

Indeed, 83 per cent of big cheeses polled presented no objections to inter-staff rumpy-pumpy, and 53 per cent said they'd indulge in a bit themselves - even if it were with a junior colleague.
Some cautions about such behavior follow ending up with:
Which should act as a warning to the 13 per cent of Brits who claimed they'd enjoyed "intimate relations" in the workplace: mission-critical purchasing decisions should be made after extensive market analysis and financial projections; not after a quick shag under the desk with someone from accounts.
Sounds like they need to set the AC on freezing.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Today's Hoot!

Michelle Malkin has a laugh with Gain Weight on the Moonbat Fast Plan. I really like the contribution from that clapped out media whore, Cindy Sheehan:
I find traveling out of the country very challenging being on a fast. When I was on a layover in Madrid on my way to Venice, Italy yesterday, the closest thing I could find to a smoothie to get a little protein was a coffee with vanilla ice cream in it.
Ole Cindy gives room temperature IQs a bad name.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Dreams of a clown

The Blogger picture posting service has been casters up for the last few days, so you'll just have to imagine Pittsburgh Tribune-Review news hen Robin Acton giving a Lewinsky to Crooked John Murtha while penning the amazing Murtha commands respect. Best lines:
Although he kept a low profile for years with regard to international matters, "Jack" Murtha has extensive knowledge of global affairs.
He can order at a Chinese restaurant?
He's traveled on behalf of the United States at the request of several presidents to dozens of locations around the world, including Vietnam, Cambodia, Russia, Afghanistan, Kosovo, Somalia, Kuwait, Korea and Columbia.
(Note to Robin, it's Colombia, dear.) Translation: Murtha knows how to take a junket with the best of them. Not to mention his ability to negotiate with Arab sheikhs with suitcases full of cash.
"It's a compliment to the people of his district, that with all the options he has, he chooses them," said U.S. Rep. Nancy Pelosi, the House Democratic leader.
Nancy undoubtedly blesses Botox so she can say stuff like that with a straight face.
And while others say he's a natural for Secretary of Defense because of his expertise in military and defense issues, Murtha insists he "would never be interested in a Cabinet position or any non-elected position."
One wonders whether these "others" are allowed by the staff to handle any sharp objects.
No, he wants to be the House majority leader.
And have the loot deposited in a few local banks.

All the usual cockroaches

Spirits Are High in Syria's Capital as Leaders Openly Show Support for Hezbollah

Iran warns Israel of "unimaginable losses" if Syria attacked

Palestinians eager to jump into fray

And don't forget the mini-roach - Hugo Chavez: US causing ME 'Holocaust'

But the lineup of brainless vermin wouldn't be complete without the NY Times' editorial board who took time out from their lesiurely weekends at the Cape (or on Fire Island according to taste) to excrete The Real Agenda:
It is only now, nearly five years after Sept. 11, that the full picture of the Bush administration’s response to the terror attacks is becoming clear. Much of it, we can see now, had far less to do with fighting Osama bin Laden than with expanding presidential power.

Today's Hoot!

Mark Steyn, of course:
Aside from Larry's closing tribute to Red Buttons, I've never heard more rubbish in a single hour since . . . well, come to think of it, since the last time I saw "Larry King Live." But at least that was a special with Heather Mills (Paul McCartney's missus), with which subject Larry seemed rather more engaged, at least after Lady McCartney plunked her artificial leg up on the desk and invited Larry to feel its lifelike texture, which is more than one can say for Larry these days. But the point is that Larry and his Friars' Club Roast approach to geopolitics is about as irrelevant to what's going on there as could be devised, short of Sen. Hagel proposing Heather Mills as his Special Envoy, which may be just what Hamas and Hezbollah deserve.