Saturday, June 09, 2007

Today's Hoot!

(Via Viking Pundit) The Anchoress amuses with a snapshot of America:

When I reached the checkout, I asked the cashier if the a/c was broken. “No,” she informed me. “We keep the a/c temperature up because of global warming. Doing our part to save the planet!”

A male voice groused, rather loudly, “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! If you’re running an a/c but still not cooling the building then you’re wasting energy. Either turn it off all together, or turn the temperature down, but don’t run a huge unit without without cooling the building down; that’s like running a car engine in a driveway. This is typical Al Gore liberal nonsense, make everyone suffer the same while they feel noble because they care so much about the environment!”

The other warm woman behind me piped up, “this is freakin’ ridiculous. If I have to come here to sweat, I’ll just stay home and order somethin’ online! I don’t need to be here sweating for the privilege of givin’ you my money!”

The girl behind the counter said, “in third world countries, people don’t have air conditioning!”

“America is not a third-world country!” A new voice bellowed. “Not yet, anyway, but if Gore and his rock star friends get their way his way, we will be! Hot stores, sweating! Not them, just us! We’re the ones made uncomfortable! Tell your manager to buy a freaking carbon offset and turn on the a/c!”
Just like sweaty pits Al Gore at his Tennessee mansion. Of course, if you are one of the regular folks, you can just skip the goofy carbon offset as well as any stores that want to make you suffer for their delusions.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Today's Hoot!

And who's more humorous than than sleazy lawyer John Edwards?
Call it anything, but don't call it a "policy," because its not. It's nothing other than the latest warbling long note in the 2007 John "Jack" Edwards flatulence festival.

For a man who can afford any scent in the known universe, it is really astounding how he can constantly choose "Bovine Bouquet" as his cologne.

But strip aside all the millions he's conning his fervid followers out of and what you've got left is simple: A loser who knows he's losing and is struggling to assemble a religious cult around his "lefter than thou" poses. The fact is, as reported by Robert Novak in the Washington Post yesterday, that Edwards has got to get a cult revved up because ordinary Democrats of all shapes and sizes simply can't stand the man.
There's more hilarity by following the link, but it's an interesting question as to who can actually stand the Pretty Pony. I'm not sure I really want to know.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The American Bird Feeder

Via email:

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week, there were hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the bird poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ... everywhere.

Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: they sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I could not even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no birds were demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see ... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for these free services. Small apartments were housing five families: there was a wait of six hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor.

Your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English.

Corn Flakes now comes in a bilingual box. I have to press “one” to hear my bank talk to me in English and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are squawking and screaming in the streets demanding more rights and free liberties.

The Los Angeles Times reports that 40 percent of all workers in L.A. County are working for cash and not paying taxes: they do not have green cards.

Ninety-five percent of all warrants for murder are for illegal aliens. Seventy-five percent of people on the wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.

Over two-thirds of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal aliens paid for by Mexicans on Medi-Cal: paid for by California taxpayers. Over 300,000 illegal aliens are living in garages. Less than 2 percent of illegal aliens are picking our crops: 29 percent are on welfare.

Prof. Donald Huddle of Rice University has calculated the cost of illegal immigration to the American taxpayer in 1997 was (after subtracting the taxes illegal immigrants pay) a net $70 billion per year. The lifetime fiscal impact (taxes paid minus services used) for the average adult Mexican immigrant is a negative number.

Maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

They may not have come from the LA Times, but even the liberal apologists over at Snopes can only put up a pathetic whine about the numbers. As for the crime statistics, I encourage you to examine your local "Most Wanted" list and see what you think. By way of reference, here are the lists for Raleigh, NC and the State of North Carolina. Must be all those old Carolina Hispanic families have gone bad.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Today's Hoot!

Iowahawk reveals the latest Republican fundraising telemarketer call script. Here's the part where the callee expresses concern about the illegal alien amnesty bill:
6a. I understand that many in the Republican base are concerned with immigration. If you are concerned about border security, rest assured that the Adminstration's new comprehensive immigration bill provides over $225,000 to construct nearly 1,500 feet of impenetrable fence along the New Mexico-Oklahoma state line. If you are a small business owner employing hard-working immigrants in jobs Americans won't do, you may be concerned that the bill's 'path to citizenship' provision means your employees also won't do your jobs after becoming Americans. Don't worry! The comprehensive immigration bill also provides $800,000 for gates on the Oklahoma fence to insure a constant supply of immigrants to do the jobs that Americans, and formerly hard-working Z-visa Americans, won't do. And, by contributing today, we will send a framed certificate designating you as a non-racist!
If that doesn't do it, there's a fallback option:
9. If I actually did f*ck myself, would that help you reconsider giving a donation?
Not bloody likely. If you haven't already, now is the time to let your senators know that if they vote for this "open the borders and surrender the country bill" that they shouldn't even bother coming home.

Jump on the gravy train with the Pelosi family!

It's sure swell to see that Nancy Pelosi is continuing the best traditions of Democrat party bigs by funneling yet more payoffs through her family - Gupta's InfoUSA Pays Pelosi's Son:
A database company that has showered money on Bill and Hillary Clinton – and is alleged to have aided scam artists – now appears to have close links to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's family as well.

The firm InfoUSA, headed by major Clinton backer Vinod Gupta, has placed Pelosi's son, Paul Pelosi Jr., on its payroll – even though he has no experience in the company's main business activities, NewsMax has learned.

InfoUSA sells contact lists for consumers with detailed demographic information so that they can be better targeted by direct mail and telemarketers, some of whom work the sleazy side of the street. Sleaze and the Clintons, what a shock!
The company is also under fire in a shareholder lawsuit which alleges that Gupta is appropriating company funds for personal use and his political pet projects.

Shareholder critics are furious that Gupta had InfoUsa pay former President Bill Clinton $2.1 million in "consulting fees" since he left the White House, with another $1.2 million promised.

Gupta has also spent roughly $1 million of InfoUsa funds to provide corporate jet flights for both President Clinton and his wife Hillary.

You ever wonder how the conversation actually went? When ole Mr. Gupta says to Bubba, "I'd like to hire you as a direct marketing database consultant for $3.2 million," does Bubba say, "Aw, you shouldn't" or just tell him where to send the checks? But I digress since the Clintons' propensity for hot cash is well known - let's see what ole Paul Pelosi Jr. been up to:

Pelosi's son Paul acknowledged he has also been taking trips on corporate jets provided by Info USA.

Just four weeks after Nancy Pelosi became speaker of the House this past January, Gupta and InfoUSA hired her son as a senior vice president. He told NewsMax InfoUsa pays him $180,000 a year.

Even though his job with InfoUSA is considered full-time, Paul Pelosi continues another full-time job, as a home loan officer at Countrywide Home Loans, part of Countrywide Financial, in San Mateo, a suburb of San Francisco.

While InfoUSA is based in Omaha, Pelosi said he reports to a small InfoUSA office in San Mateo.

In two interviews, Paul Pelosi confirmed that Gupta hired him as senior vice president for strategic development starting Feb. 1, just after Pelosi's mother took the gavel as speaker on Jan. 4. He said his mother is aware of his new job.

A person familiar with the arrangement says Gupta treats Pelosi as a "trophy" and has the Speaker's son accompany him at high profile meetings around the country.

Pelosi denied the suggestion he is being used because of his family ties.

"I don't think that's really what happens," he said.

There's more about this boy financial genius by following the link, but you'll be interested to know that he's also President of San Francisco's Commission on the Environment. Gosh, the kid must be dynamite!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

When you put the fuzzbrains in charge...

You get something like the logo for the 2012 London Olympics:

It reportedly cost $800K for some artistes to come up with that beauty. Even better, check out the rationale

London 2012 will be everyone’s Games, everyone’s 2012. This is the vision at the very heart of the new London 2012 brand. It will define the venues that are built and the Games that London and the UK will host. The new 2012 emblem will use the Olympic spirit to inspire everyone and reach out to young people. It is an invitation to take part and be involved.


These will be a Games where everyone is invited to join in. A Games where people are inspired to either take part in the many sports, cultural, educational and community events leading up to 2012 or inspired to achieve personal goals.

It's synchronized swimming for me, mate! Also take a look at the video at the same link which is Kumbaya gag inducing piffle at its worst. The toffs think it's all swell of course:

International Olympic Committee prez Jacques Rogge quickly upped the ante with: "This is a truly innovative brand logo that graphically captures the essence of the London 2012 Olympic Games - namely to inspire young people around the world through sport and the Olympic values. Each edition of the Olympic Games brings its own flavour and touch to what is now well over a century of modern Olympic history; the brand launched today by London 2012 is, I believe, an early indication of the dynamism, modernity and inclusiveness with which London 2012 will leave its Olympic mark."

Not to be outdone, Tony Blair weighed in with: "We want London 2012 not just to be about elite sporting success. When people see the new brand, we want them to be inspired to make a positive change in their life. London 2012 will be a great sporting summer but will also allow Britain to showcase itself to the world."

Finally, and evidently well fired up on cetacean mood music, [Olympics Minister Tessa] Jowell flourished: "This is an iconic brand that sums up what London 2012 is all about - an inclusive, welcoming and diverse Games that involves the whole country. It takes our values to the world beyond our shores, acting both as an invitation and an inspiration. This is not just a marketing logo, but a symbol that will become familiar, instantly recognisable and associated with our Games in so many ways during the next five years."

Maybe, but the little people have weighed in with their own suggestions for logos including this one which made it on to the BBC ("The hands represent Britain pulling together to reveal the Olympics") before someone savvy in the ways of the web pulled it.

Then there's this NSFW one (via FSJ) for those that prefer animations.

So do you think the London Olympics Organizers will find a clue? Me neither, since it would warp their worldviews to admit that they don't don't have any.