Thursday, March 23, 2006

TV advertising tanks

If you thought the cheesy propaganda "public service" ads described in my previous post were most likely to appear between infomercials at 3AM, think again:
Television is an increasingly wobbly target for ad spending and will likely soon begin hemorrhaging dollars to interactive and other channels. That's according to a Forrester poll of 133 advertisers who control more than $20 billion in advertising.

The study, undertaken in conjunction with the Association of National Advertisers (ANA) and presented today at the ANA's TV Ad Forum in New York, found 78 percent of these marketers feel the potency of their television advertising has declined in the last two years.

Seventy percent of those surveyed believe digital video recorders (DVR) and video-on-demand (VOD) will "reduce or destroy" the effectiveness of :30 spots. And once DVR penetration grows to above 30 million households, 24 percent said they intend to cut their TV ad budgets by at least a quarter and reallocate that money to online advertising, product placement and other channels.

The Internet fared particularly well in major advertisers' future plans. Eighty percent said they'll invest more in Web advertising, and 68 percent singled out search marketing as a source of future spending. Smaller percentages said they'd pursue program sponsorships, product placement and online video ads.
Give it a few years and the only TV ads will be the latest Ad Council leftoid propaganda. That's OK - then they'll match the shows.

Are we gonna get any virgin sacrifices or what?

I know it will be tough finding any at the ad agency, but sheesh:
Your favorite TV show has ended. You've just seen the ads for Lipitor and light beer, and here comes another:

Tick. Tick. Massive heat waves.

One after another, the faces of small children appear.

Tick. Tick. Severe droughts.

The kids look and sound serious, maybe even upset.

Tick. Go to While there's still time.

Yikes! Did some ad exec get lost on a disaster movie set? Not quite.

Fred Krupp, president of Environmental Defense, has teamed with the Ad Council, which has challenged social norms with such public-service campaigns as "Friends don't let friends drive drunk" and Nancy Reagan's "Just say no."

In a series of TV and radio spots that one publicist termed "edgy" - and that a global-warming skeptic called "the ultimate triumph of propaganda over science" - the group is hoping to spawn a massive shift in social awareness that will send millions rushing to turn down their thermostats, inflate their car tires, and recycle their plastic.
More like rushing to the crapper before the show comes back on. Better try again:
Another of the ads to be launched today shows a fragile plant growing near train tracks, then a speeding locomotive. A man appears. "Global warming," he intones over the chugga-chugga of the train. "Some say irreversible consequences are 30 years away. Thirty years? That won't affect me."

He walks off. But behind him - right in the path of the train - is a little girl, blonde curls framing her puzzled frown.
It really is crapper time.

Here's a hint for the big advertising professionals at Ogilvy & Mather of New York who disgorged this offal. As long as you're creating works of fiction, why not spice 'em up a little?

Virgin sacrifice to the angry weather gods

Yeah, that'll work

Illinois Democrats promise not to buy votes:
Democratic leaders in one Illinois county have begun making very clear what other politicians might consider obvious: Party money should not be used to buy votes.
Er, we're talking Illinois and the Democrat party here.
The Democratic Party in St. Clair County has sent out reminders to precinct committeemen that party money can't be used to influence votes.

The refresher course on democracy follows the June convictions of five East St. Louis politicians for vote buying. Prosecutors said they had helped distribute more than $70,000 received by city Democratic precinct committeemen just before the 2004 election from the county Democratic organization.
Looks like the rates have gone up. It used to just be a pack of smokes or a half pint of cheap hooch. Of course, smokes and booze have gone up too.
The committeemen were recently sent a one-page letter from St. Clair County Democratic Central Committee Chairman Robert Sprague saying that money from the county committee should be used only to pay to help get the vote out.
Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. That's what the goodies are for - getting out the vote.
Precinct leaders should "keep a record of all expenses" and "under no circumstances" use party money to pay for votes, the letter says.
Now they'll be sure to record them as "refreshment expenses."

Monday, March 20, 2006

Bras gone wild!

Just in time for Spring Break:
After years of reminding blokes that "our eyes are up here," someone's gone and invented a bra that seems to say "but my breasts are down here." In fact, since it's got LED lights mounted along the decolletage, it can say that quite literally, if you'd like it to.
Actually, it's one of those pesky performance art deals where the artistes figured to cash in on replicating it at $500+ per copy. My only question is whether it will short out in a wet t-shirt contest! If you aren't worried about shocks, they have other light up duds too.

I guess they call this job enrichment

From across the pond comes Bus driver sacked for playing PSP. That's a Sony PlayStation Portable game machine:
A bus driver has been sacked after passengers complained he was driving the bus while playing a portable games machine.

Steve Allcock was playing Grand Theft Auto on his PSP. Passengers could clearly hear the sound effects from the game while he drove the bus from Accrington to Blackburn in Lancashire. When the bus company received complaints it checked CCTV footage and spotted the driver with the games console wedged between his knees.

One unhappy customer told the Daily Record: "He was playing a Grand Theft Auto game and the screams of the characters being shot could be heard all around the bus.
It'd sure put me in a traveling mood.