Friday, November 18, 2005

Nancy Pelosi waves the white flag

But that's what limousine liberals do best. Ignore the pathetic MSM whining and go for the good stuff:
House Republicans maneuvered for swift rejection Friday of any notion of immediately pulling U.S. troops out of Iraq, sparking a nasty, sometimes personal debate over the war and a Democratic lawmaker's own call for withdrawal.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi sent word to the rank-and-file to vote - with the Republicans - against immediate withdrawal of American troops.
Gee I wonder what got into Plastic Puss. This ought to be a dream come true for her!
By forcing the issue to a vote, Republicans placed many Democrats in a politically unappealing position - whether to side with Murtha and expose themselves to criticism, or to oppose him and risk angering the voters that polls show want an end to the conflict.
Don't hold your breath waiting for the AP to parse that beauty.
The fiery, emotional debate climaxed when Rep. Jean Schmidt, R-Ohio, the most junior member of the House, told of a phone call she received from a Marine colonel.

"He asked me to send Congress a message - stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message - that cowards cut and run, Marines never do," Schmidt said.

Democrats booed and shouted her down - causing the House to come to a standstill.

Rep. Harold Ford, D-Tenn., charged across the chamber's center aisle screaming that it was an uncalled for personal attack. "You guys are pathetic. Pathetic," yelled Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass.
Hey, Harold can we feel your muscle? Good thing the Marine wasn't there in person or some pansy ass would likely have been kicked.
"I won't stand for the swift-boating of Jack Murtha," said Sen. John Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee in 2004.
As he stamped his expensively shod foot, no doubt. No worries there, Lurch, Murtha earned his medals and didn't denounce his buddies with bogus war crimes stories. It's just that he's gone squishy soft now that he's entered his 70's and there's nothing wrong with calling him on it.

More Wilson family fun!

Joe Wilson recomends the CIA trough, er cafeteria
Pig recommends trough

Now that "crack" prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has concluded his "big" investigation, folks he missed who knew that bloviating Joe Wilson's airbrained spouse was feeding at the CIA trough are coming out of the woodwork. Last week we had Patrick Fitzgerald Ignored Witnesses who Contradicted Wilson:
Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald's Leakgate investigation is coming unraveled, as witness after witness steps forward to challenge a key premise of his controversial probe.
The number of witnesses now saying "No" has climbed to four - and none of them have apparently been interviewed by Fitzgerald's investigators.

On Wednesday, Wayne Simmons, a 27-year veteran at the CIA, told Fox News Radio: "As most people now know, [Plame] was traipsed all over Washington many years ago by Joe Wilson and introduced at embassies and other parties as 'my CIA wife.'"
In fact, rumors now swirl around Washington that Plame used to take her friends to lunch at the CIA's cafeteria.
More following the link, but that was before Bob Woodward added his name to the list, which really has bloviating Joe in a tizzy. Cut to the always dyspeptic Wesley Pruden at the Washington Times:
Mortuary Bob became a Washington legend for cultivating sources among both the quick and the dead, and he's guilty so far of no known crime. Well, except the crime of not taking seriously the game of who outed Valerie Plame, Washington's most famous airhead, as a covert operative of the CIA. That "crime" may yet get him "terminated" with extreme prejudice.

The husband of the airhead yesterday demanded the pursuit of Mortuary Bob by the famous special prosecutor from Chicago who has spent $20 million in vain pursuit of a crime, and could only manage to indict Scooter Libby for not remembering who told him about something that didn't happen.

Somebody even now is writing a play about the Plame game, and it's a musical comedy. It's easy to see why. We can only hope the music will be better than the words. Mortuary Bob wrote the best review of what's happened so far, when he told an interviewer for NPR that "when all the facts come out in this case it's going to be laughable because the consequences are not that great."

The consequences, great or not, are likely to fall hardest on the head of Patrick Fitzgerald. The big wind from Chicago has seen his case against Scooter fall apart over the last 48 hours. Scooter stands charged with perjury, a serious crime that rarely yields a conviction, because he said he learned of Valerie Plame's supposed status as a covert CIA agent from Tim Russert of NBC News, and not from a government official, which would have made it a violation of the law. Mr. Russert says that's not how he remembers it.

Even if Scooter was telling a lie, and not merely misremembering something from a long time ago, this is pretty thin soup on which to go to a grand jury. But if you're a special prosecutor who has just blown $20 million, even if merely taxpayer money, you're likely to be in a mild panic to come up with any old bone to throw into the pot.

But now comes Mortuary Bob with his story that he talked to Scooter before Tim did, and his notes reflect that he wanted to talk about "yellowcake" and "Joe Wilson's wife." This suggests that a lot of people in town knew about Val and Joe, who covert or not devote a lot of their time trying to get their overt pictures in the papers. If Scooter, who talks to a lot of reporters, all of whom look alike in the dark, got Tim and Mortuary Bob confused who could blame him? Probably not a jury, unless it's a jury packed with diehard Democrats eager to nail a Republican hide to the barn door. Where but the District of Columbia could you find a jury like that?
More japery by following the link.

Think of it as the "Kennedy Plan"

Island jail fit for a prince: Posh prison digs offer cable TV, sunset view:
EDGARTOWN, MA – Lawyers for the Saudi prince who pleaded guilty yesterday to a misdemeanor charge – homicide by motor vehicle while operating under the influence of intoxicating liquor – were recently granted a guided tour of the ritzy Colonial house that serves as the Martha’s Vineyard jail so they could determine if it was fit for royalty.

Dukes Sheriff Michael A. McCormack said a defense attorney for Bader Al-Saud contacted him, saying the prince’s confinement – which began yesterday – was a “special case.”

His lawyers asked for, and received, a tour of the Dukes County Jail and House of Correction. The jail is a handsome clapboard house built in 1873 and ringed by a white picket fence.

The wind carries a sweet sea breeze to the prison yard, which boasts a full weight set that Al-Saud, 23, can use to bulk up his frame.

Inmates can take in the brilliant sunsets from their windows – which are framed with wooden shutters and decorated with understated iron bars. Cons wear their own clothes and can order their food from an in-house chef, said former inmate Alan Thistle, 53.

Cells are outfitted with 13-inch, remote-controlled cable TVs that inmates can hook up Nintendo game systems to, Thistle said.

“I got better treatment in there than I do at some hotels. I’m telling you, it was picturesque,” said Thistle, who served an 18-month sentence on drug charges.
No word on whether they have a bar and let the inmates drive.
John S. Alley, chairman of the county commissioners, said he was “flabbergasted” a defendant who confessed to mowing down a man in a drunken stupor would be housed in a jail built for nonviolent offenders.
Actually, this is more like "Kennedy Plan B." Plan A is to come up with a preposterous story and then buy your way out of trouble.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

It may not be a hoot, but it sure merits a snicker

Bloggers Break Sony:
Sony made an unpopular product decision and got its reputation incinerated by waves of flaming bloggers. That's a lesson for other companies.
If you haven't been following this one, the article has a nice summary. Best part:
Alan Scott, chief marketing office at business information service Factiva, said, "I think that we're in an entirely new world from a marketing perspective. The rules of the game have changed dramatically. The old way of doing things by ignoring issues, or with giving the canned PR spin response within the blogosphere, it just doesn't work."

Thomas Hesse, Sony BMG's Global Digital Business President, attempted to do just that by dismissing the online protests. "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?" he said in a November 4 interview on National Public Radio's Morning Edition.
Bzzzt, game over! Thanks for playing.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I missed out on the hot party action again!

James Shmoo Wolcott

I mean what's better than Vanity Fair flouncer, James "Shmoo" Wolcott? Kinda like the boar at full bore. Or is it the bore at full bore? Whatever, Protein Wisdom has all the details.

We don't see much of that around here

Fraters Libertas astounds with the news that the Mayor of Minneapolis is undergoing surgery for an injury he received "diving off the Gay Men's Chorus float in the Pride parade."

Someone 'splain this to me

Either I'm an old fogey or Microsoft should seriously consider hiring a new ad agency. Check out these Xbox 360 commercials (big bandwidth warning): Jump Rope and Water Balloons. Of course, they're building off a base of Xbox ads like Life's Short. I doubt I'm in the Xbox target demographic, but these make me wonder about those who are.

Update: A reader points me to two more that have a higher amusement content: Uncle Randy and German Plane Race.

Today's computer tip

Don't send your printer out for repair when it's jammed with counterfeit currency you were printing.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Here's a cool Euro solution!

EC declared us mad so it could sack us, claim staff:
The European Commission has been accused of trying to have troublesome staff declared mentally ill in order to provide an excuse for giving them the sack.

Critics claim that the commission has resorted to tactics "worthy of the KGB" by pronouncing staff unfit for work after grillings from psychiatrists.
Er, why not just fire them?
The practice is alleged to have developed unofficially because the commission's generous employment terms make it all but impossible to dismiss staff. In the past, employees who have had run-ins with the commission, or simply underperformed, have generally had to be persuaded to leave by offers of expensive early retirement packages.
Silly me! Of course it had to be a Euroweenie solution.
Mr Sequeira, who worked in the commission's ministry for development, says he was astonished to read personnel reports which said his behaviour "sowed doubt regarding the state of his mental health".

He was put on permanent sick leave after tests found he suffered "verbal hyper-productivity" and a "lack of conceptual content" in his speech.
"Verbal hyper-productivity" and a "lack of conceptual content" in his speech? Sheesh, that should make him a standout performer in EU circles!
Mr Sequeira, a career diplomat first employed by the commission in 1987, claims that his relationship with his superiors soured when they became wrongly convinced that he was planning to blow the whistle on an internal fraud scandal.
Ruh oh! That would fray kleptocratic nerves!
To prove that he was of sound mind Mr Sequeira underwent psychiatric tests at four different hospitals, seen by the Sunday Telegraph, all of which found nothing wrong with him. Their findings were declared inadmissible by the commission as it would accept testimony from only its own accredited medical list.
He's got the perfect medical excuse - he's too well to work at the European Commission. More by following the link.

Good suggestion

Mr. Kurtz, please try this on for size: "Senior officials were trying to explain how an unqualified, recently dismissed Foreign Service officer was sent on a sensitive intelligence mission and left free to publicize it in the New York Times."

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Fun from all over!

Pat McNeil, administrator of the Underrepresented Fellowships Office at Southern Illinois University: “I’ll be upfront with you – no white male will get this award.”
Unless he's wearing a dress, presumably.

"'Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now,' said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 Marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 Marines may be overkill, but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on the scene."
(Via LGF) He's shocked, I tell ya!:
I'm an anti-Bush guy, and I know Mary Mapes a little. She's a neighbor. But I hope you'll stick with me even if you're at the other end of the spectrum. Listen, some of my favorite neighbors are pro-Bush, and they're surprisingly decent people.
(Via Wizbang) Texas Grannies with Large Caliber Weapons

What part of "Bite me" don't they understand?:
“We do believe that the church has a visionary role for reconciliation beyond that of any government,” one of the authors, Bishop Richard Harries of Oxford, told BBC Radio.

That role involves what the report called “truth and reconciliation” meetings with Muslim leaders that would give Christian counterparts the opportunity to perform a “public act of institutional penance” for the West’s “long litany of errors” in dealing with Iraq, including the 2003 war.
Sheesh, the wingnuts are coming out of the woodwork: Car-b-q excitement grips Greek anarchists. And now there's a musical version!
It’s great to be part of the UN… the EU’s a marvelous thing…
In our little cloister the world is our oyster…
‘cuz – we – get – to – pull – all - the - striiiiings!
Jumping over a lot of good stuff...

When Mahmooooud is in the Notre Dame
And prayer rugs line Versailles
Then this will please the Prophet
We'll get hot chicks in Paradise!

This is the dawning of the Age of Eurabia!
Age of Eurabiaaaaa!
Eu-ra-bi-AH! Eu-RA-bi-ah!
Hmmm, some of the songs seem a trifle derivative.

Don't tell the United Nations weenies - they'll probably instituitionalize it: Sex for fuel.

(Via Microsoft News Tracker) The best geek PR stunt that never happened:
"By November, 1996, St. John had spent $2 million of Microsoft's money to rent an abandoned hangar at California's Alameda Naval Air Station and have Swiss design artists H.R. Giger conceive an interior mock-up of a spacecraft like the one he had created for the movie "Alien." St. John's plan was to hold a computer-game developers conference at a nearby hotel. During the last session, "armed" G-men would storm in, herd all the unsuspecting attendees at gunpoint into buses, and car them to a hangar called, of course, Area 51."

There would be about 3,000 guests who would walk through a "misty, tracheal tube dripping with slime and emerge inside the spaceship. "At the far end of the elaborate, football-field-sized exposition hall would be a stage, where a videotaped Bill Gates would appear." Gates would talk about technology and then rip off a mask to reveal a bug-eyed alien.
And you thought Mary Mapes was bad?
"Politics in France is heading to the right and I don't want rightwing politicians back in second, or even first place because we showed burning cars on television," Mr Dassier told an audience of broadcasters at the News Xchange conference in Amsterdam today.