Today's Hoot!

The Texas Gal production of the Merle Haggard classic - Fightin' Side of Me:

Can't beat that lawyer kung fu!

It seems the Chinese Shaolin monks are really upset so they appealed to a martial arts master:

Monks at China's Shaolin Temple are vociferously demanding an apology from an anonymous Japanese internet user who suggested that a single ninja had once whupped the asses of the kung fu masters at the martial art's spiritual home.

Specifically, "Five Minutes Every Day" last week posted a comment in an online forum claiming that "a Japanese ninja came to Shaolin, asked for a fight and many monks failed to beat him". He added: "The facts that the monks could not defeat a Japanese ninja showed that they were named as kung fu masters in vain."

Well, this didn't go down too well at all. According to Reuters, the Shaolin monks rapidly engaged a lawyer, who issued a notice declaring: "The so-called defeat is purely fabricated, and we demand the internet user to apologise to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did."

Some things you just can't make up. Say, did I ever tell y'all about the time a Southern country boy went to China and kicked the gown wearing derrieres of the phonies at the Shaolin temple?

Big Brother has a sister and they are both cartoon characters

It seems the Red Chinese have drafted a couple of anime kids to remind Chinese web surfers that Big Brother is always watching:

Police in China's capital said Tuesday they will start patrolling the Web using animated beat officers that pop up on a user's browser and walk, bike or drive across the screen warning them to stay away from illegal Internet content.

That ought to be good for some laughs.

Starting Sept. 1, the cartoon alerts will appear every half hour on 13 of China's top portals, including Sohu and Sina, and by the end of the year will appear on all Web sites registered with Beijing servers, the Beijing Public Security Ministry said in a statement.

That's a little unclear, but depending on how they are doing it, the kiddie thought police could be superimposed on all Web sites visible in Red China.

The animated police appeared designed to startle Web surfers and remind them that authorities closely monitor Web activity. However, the statement did not say whether there were plans to boost monitoring further.

The male and female cartoon officers, designed for the ministry by Sohu, will offer a text warning to surfers to abide by the law and tips on Internet security as they move across the screen in a virtual car, motorcycle or on foot, it said.
...
China stringently polices the Internet for material and content that the ruling Communist Party finds politically or morally threatening. Despite the controls, nudity, profanity, illegal gambling and pirated music, books and film have proliferated on Chinese Internet servers.

I'm shocked, I tell ya! Shocked!

"We will continue to promote new images of the virtual police and update our Internet security tips in an effort to make the image of the virtual police more user friendly and more in tune with how web surfers use the Internet," it said.

How about this one? That ought to do the trick. Then again, maybe not.

Today's Hoot!

The Dissident Frogman provides a video for refined tastes - Like a Suppository, Only Stronger - in which he graphically explains to the worthless hacks at the AFP the difference between a cartridge and a bullet.