John Murtha, a man before his time

I think it's time we all give credit to John Murtha for his innovations in servicing the public! At a time when lesser men were taking suitcases full of cash from an erstwhile Arab sheik, Murtha suggested that the sheik "invest" the loot in his hometown presaging a new dawn for the Democrat party where ill gotten gains get funneled through friends and relatives:

That he's made a name for himself now by slandering our troops and their mission deserves a brief recital of some other activities associated with Mr. Murtha.

Last June, the Los Angeles Times reported how the ranking member on the defense appropriations subcommittee has a brother, Robert Murtha, whose lobbying firm represents 10 companies that received more than $20 million from last year's defense spending bill. "Clients of the lobbying firm KSA Consulting -- whose top officials also include former congressional aide Carmen V. Scialabba, who worked for Rep. Murtha as a congressional aide for 27 years -- received a total of $20.8 million from the bill," the L.A. Times reported.

In early 2004, according to Roll Call, Mr. Murtha "reportedly leaned on U.S. Navy officials to sign a contract to transfer the Hunters Point Shipyard to the city of San Francisco." Laurence Pelosi, nephew of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, at the time was an executive of the company which owned the rights to the land. The same article also reported how Mr. Murtha has been behind millions of dollars worth of earmarks in defense appropriations bills that went to companies owned by the children of fellow Pennsylvania Democrat, Rep. Paul Kanjorski.

Ah, the master at work! The brave path he trod alone more than a quarter century ago has since become well worn by many other Democrats on the way, er, whose families are on the way to riches like Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, former Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, and Bill Clinton to name a few more.

But wouldn't it have been nice if Murtha had had time to counsel fellow Democrat, Rep. William Jefferson? "Smoothing the way" for businesses and then putting your family on the board of directors is good - keeping cash in your freezer is bad. Keep practicing, Bill! I'm sure you'll get the hang of it.

Today's Hoot!

Ace:

As if we needed more proof that global warming is caused by humans, remember that the Stanley Cup was won by the Carolina Hurricanes and the NBA Finals were just won by the Miami Heat.

Coincidence?

I think not.

I was kinda thinking it was the "bean and cheese" burritos I had for lunch. Meanwhile Tim Blair spots a beauty:

Reported in The Guardian:

Climate change is bringing animals out of hibernation prematurely, making them lose weight and causing them stress, Italian scientists said yesterday. Spring-like temperatures too early in the year are waking animals up sooner and putting their feeding and breeding habits out of kilter with the environment.

Meanwhile, in Canada:

Bears in the suburbs north of Vancouver have been coming out of hibernation as hungry as ever but later than usual this spring because of a heavier than normal snowpack from the winter. The report Thursday was one of six complaints police said they received about bears in the area that day.

Tim laments that the pesky weather just isn't perfect. Not to worry, I'm sure a little central planning will fix it, just like Russian agriculture in the 80's, so that it's better than average everywhere. And in related news (via Global Warming News Site), the Louisville Courier-Journal's resident ecoweenie makes a shocking discovery:

The Courier-Journal's environmental reporter was shocked to find that he has an oversized effect on climate change. He writes about that discovery today in the first installment of a Web log on science and environmental issues at the newspaper's Web site.
...
He blamed it largely on a house that is not energy efficient and too many airplane trips, one of them needed to get to a remote Alaskan research center so he could learn more about global warming.

I'm shocked, I tell ya! Maybe he should hang around the house chinking the logs with buffalo chips and stop polluting the Internet.

Then there's ABC which is encouraging folks with global warming obsessions to send them tales of the hot horrors thay have encountered. Ace obliges with a saucy tale entiltled... well, er, how can I phrase it for a family blog? Let's try Global Warming Is Making Certain Sensitive Portions of My Anatomy Very Steamy. His commenters help out with more poignant prose.

Goodbye and no thanks for all the lies

I see that CBS finally got rid of Lying Captain Dan Rather. What took so long?

Don't let the garage door hit your wide load on the way out

I was a little puzzled as to why the mainstream media like Time and USA Today simultaneously rediscovered the Dixie Chicks in May until I read the fine print and saw it was all puffery for their new album, which bashes their old, patriotic fans besides taking swipes at Buddy Holly and Lubbock, Texas among other things. The MSM roused their wingnut demographic into a frenzy for the three singing philosophical geniuses and it worked well enough for the Chicks' album to hit the top of the Billboard charts for a while, although the new fans don't seem to be willing to cough up enough loot to go to concerts and ticket sales for the big Chicks concert tour are sagging. The girls seem right happy with their new demographic though - Dixie Chicks Have Strong Gay Fanbase:

But while the trio lost many country music fans, who staged record-stomping protests and banned the group from their radio stations, they gained a gay army of people who appreciated the outspoken stance the girls took - and then refused to back down.

In an interview with leading gay magazine The Advocate, Maines says, "We do think we have more liberals and more gay men behind us. We have a gay hairdresser and gay make-up artist who are with us every single day, so they fill us in."

Nothing like keeping your fingers on the pulse of the nation, so to speak.

And bandmate Emily Robison admits she notices more lesbians at their shows because they're normally smitten by bandmate and sister Martie Maguire. Robison explains, "They're usually on Martie's side. We always tease her that she gets all the lesbians."

Well, yeehaw!

Even more interesting revelations on the Chicks' new lifestyle are in Adam Sweeting's article in the UK Telegraph:

Will it be the salmon teriyaki with organic greens, or asparagus tempura and tuna sashimi? As the waiter hovers with pencil poised, the Dixie Chicks debate the menu with the practised air of professional restaurant critics. The Chicks have traditionally been branded a country band, but clearly it's some time since their diet consisted of ribs, tacos and pancakes.

Sisters Emily Robison and Martie Maguire project a polished Fifth Avenue elegance, and vocalist Natalie Maines is a vision of sculpted cheekbones and smoky eye-shadow.

Although you do have to watch out for Natalie having a gridle explosion. What ole Adam doesn't know about country dining would fill volumes, but it's clear the girls think they're real high class now. There's more in the same vein, but let's cut to the chase:

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

Well, Golly Gosh! That's sure a big honking surprise. Can we question their patriotism now? Just wondering.

Look who just crawled out from under a rock!

It's Connecticut's half of the Waitress Sandwich Team, Senator Chris Dodd, only now he has the hots for Kofi Annan's gofer, Mark Malloch Brown. If you don't remember the story from a couple of weeks ago, Markie showed up June 6 at a US conference sponsored by left wing Donks and got all pissy about criticism of the United Nations. Robert Novak:

''He was shamelessly pandering to partisan interests,'' Republican Sen. Norm Coleman, who has led congressional pressure for U.N. reform, told me. Malloch Brown's remarkable speech was delivered under the auspices of two left-of-center think tanks, one of them with particularly close ties to the Democratic Party. In Malloch Brown's audience were key officials of the Clinton administration, headed by former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

John Bolton, U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, called on Secretary General Kofi Annan to ''repudiate'' his deputy and expressed hope privately that this rejection really would take place. Instead, Malloch Brown's boss defended his unprecedented intrusion into American politics, saying he agreed with him and referring to the resulting tumult as only a ''minor storm.'' U.N. sources said it was inconceivable that Annan did not have prior knowledge of Malloch Brown's intentions.

Coleman, who as Senate permanent investigations subcommittee chairman has focused on corruption at the U.N., sees a desperate effort by Annan to seize the initiative before the scheduled reduction of U.S. spending at the end of June.

Lots of luck with that one, Toffee. If you don't clean up the stables, think about going on a diet.

The venue chosen by the British civil servant was extraordinary: a conference held as a joint venture by two think tanks. The Washington-based Center for American Progress is headed by John Podesta, Clinton White House chief of staff and a leading Bush-basher. The New York-based Century Foundation is run by Richard Leone, a longtime Democratic political operative. The conference was loaded with critics of Bush, including Albright, Carol Browner, Theodore Sorensen, Lawrence Korb, Richard Holbrooke, Joschka Fischer and Morton Halperin (with Rep. James Leach of Iowa as a token Republican).

That might seem strange territory for a career international bureaucrat, but Malloch Brown was a man on a mission. He asserted that ''much of the public discourse [about the United Nations] that reaches the U.S. heartland has been largely abandoned to its loudest detractors, such as Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.'' He went on to cite ''too much unchecked U.N.-bashing and stereotyping over too many years.'' His overriding message appeared to blame corruption at the United Nations on Americans, especially the Republican Party.

Dang, I guess it's my fault that so many of Kofi's bosom pals were taking bribes from Saddam Hussein! Which reminds me - I wonder if Kofi ever found his fancy car?

His caricature of American public opinion was condemned by Coleman as part of the ''blame America first game'' and appealing to Democrats such as Sen. Christopher Dodd. Indeed, Dodd continued his vendetta against Bolton, which was instrumental in blocking the envoy's confirmation by the Senate.

Dodd, a principal Democratic spokesman on foreign policy, contended that the ambassador must have been reading another speech, because Malloch Brown's remarks ''were constructive'' and ''not an attack on the United States.''

Ooooo! What did his leg feel like, Chris? Ya think Chris is into S&M, too? Of course, Chris feeling all gooey about some tin horn bureaucrat slapping those pesky hicks in the heartland is standard Donk policy these days. If you're a Donk, everybody's better than Americans.

But the New York Times reported on June 7 that the U.N. functionary the previous day ''assailed'' the world organization's largest financial contributor.

I guess they must have been reading a different speech too and they didn't get the memo with the talking points.

The attempt by the U.N. bureaucrats, echoed by Dodd, is to isolate Bolton from his State Department superiors. But Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice phoned Bolton to express her agreement with him. That was confirmed in the State Department briefing June 8 by spokesman Sean McCormack. He said Rice had telephoned Annan June 7 to express her disappointment.

The Bush administration clearly does not regard the U.N. bureaucracy as merely acting in pique against the hard-nosed Bolton. With Annan's term ending in little more than six months, funding is at risk amid complaints on Capitol Hill that the U.N. is still plagued by incompetence and corruption. The secretary general and his deputy are trying to exploit the partisan divide in American politics to discredit Bolton's insistence on reform -- a gamble fraught with peril.

Sheesh, what a combo - bloated UN bureaucrats and arrogant Democrat politicians. Time to keep a close watch on our wallets or it will be business as usual again at the United Nations.

Fat old crook alert!

Wingnut John Murtha must have mixed up his meds again and taken another Viagra by mistake:

Commenting on Karl Rove's remarks in a speech in New Hampshire where he charged that Democrats are "wrong, profoundly wrong" in wanting to cut and run in Iraq, an increasingly rabid anti-war Congressman John Murtha resorted to a personal attack on Rove on Sunday.

"He's in New Hampshire, he's making a political speech. He's sitting in his air-conditioned office on his big fat backside saying, 'Stay the course,'" said Murtha, D-Pa., in an appearance on NBC's "Meet the Press."

It must have slipped Old Wideload's fuzzy mind that sitting around a hotel waiting for an Arab sheik with a suitcase of cash doesn't exactly leave you lissome.

Then to prove that his crack military planning abilities are the envy of the French armed forces, Murtha came up with this gem:

This morning on Meet the Cuomo aide, Tim Russert's guest was firebrand Congressman and Congressional Cowardice Caucus Chairman, John Murtha. In addition to reiterating his invocation of the Clinton evacuation from Somalia in 1993 as the example the US should follow in Iraq, he described his plan to take out Zarqawi from bases outside of Iraq.

Russert played an interesting quote from Karl Rove to the effect that: if we bailed out of Iraq to leave it in shambles, what Persian Gulf nation would paint a target on its back by allowing us to operate from their soil with the implicit acceptance that if things went bad for them, the US would turn tail and run? Following that assertion, Russert queried Murtha on just how we could have taken out Zarqawi under such conditions. Without missing a beat Murtha accepted Rove's premise by claiming that the entire Zarqawi operation could have been run out of... Okinawa. Yeah, that's right, Okinawa. The basis of this claim is that Zarqawi was bombed (ostensibly from aircraft that could have come from outside Iraq) and therefore why not just pull chalks and slink back to Oki where we could comfortably launch bombing missions at will.

Of course this ignores the six week 24/7 Taskforce 145 "Unblinking Eye" intelligence and surveillance operation that led to having a Delta SR team with eyes on target and designating it with a laser. Apparently Murtha thinks that somebody called 1-800-ZARQAWI with 10 digit grid coordinates and voila! an F-16 launches from Okinawa and 10-12 hours later... poof, no more Zarqawi.

Well heck, anyone who likes the Clinton cluster f*** in Somalia would be bound to like a little aspirin factory bombing.

Beam me up, Scotty!

News of the Weird provides ample reasons for a hasty beam-up in The Continuing Campaign to Make Everything Perfect:

(1) The principal of Liberty Elementary School in Colleyville, Texas, authorized an enlarged photo of a nickel on this year's yearbook cover, but with "In God We Trust" deleted so as not to cause offense -- but then handed out stickers with those four words so that students could place them on the cover photo if they wished.

(2) A British government agency recently decided to spend the equivalent of $33 million over 10 years to encourage women and minorities to become fishermen (or fisherwomen) because too many anglers are white, male and middle-aged; a Welsh pilot project, for example, teaches Muslim women and children to fish for trout.

No word if they gave the latter group lessons on how to drink beer or use pork baits.