Friday, September 22, 2006

Hugo does the Big Apple

Maricon Hugo Chavez goes to New York City

If there's anything good about having the United Nations in New York City, it's that periodically the various Third World dictators take time out from abusing their subjects and drop by to show the American citizenry up close and personal what kind of moonbats they are:
In case you somehow missed it, Venezuelan dictator, Hugo Chavez, provided entertainment for the United Nations body this week. After Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad clearly disappointed the United Nations body with his uncharacteristically (and ridiculously) sappy “we love everyone, even Jews--so why can’t we have nukes” speech, the United Nations was desperate for fireworks and entertainment of some sort from somebody.

Since Ahmadinejad had been muzzled by France, who is hoping to keep Iran’s nuclear ambitions off the U.N. Security Council table, enter Cindy Sheehan’s president of choice, Hugo Chavez, stage right.

Chavez opened the show with a brilliant rendition of Noam Chomsky’s World, calling upon every member of the United Nations to read America's best known socialist at first chance, holding up his favorite Chomsky book as though it were the Bible for good governance, or just proof that he could read. He then ripped into his biggest applause line of the show with "Yesterday, the devil [President Bush] came here. Right here! Right here! And it smells of sulfur still today, this table that I am now standing in front of."

If you listened closely, it wasn’t so much applause he received, but laughter. Even the room full of international thugs and fellow third world dictators were amused by the idea that the dancing monkey from South America would waltz before a world body in New York City with Noam Chomsky in hand and begin to belch such vitriolic spears at the American president, world-wide television audience looking on. It was more like a Richard Prior concert than a speech from a world leader seeking a seat at the U.N. Security Council.

Laughing at Hugo Chavez

I suppose, but at the UN it's mostly comedy anyway, so it's hard to tell. But wait, there's more:

The following day, Chavez appeared again, this time in Harlem. Hollywood socialist big shot Danny Glover crawled out from behind his Beverly Hills security gates to open the show and Chavez returned for a encore performance of his best applause line from the day before, getting an even better response from Harlem residents as he warmed up the cheering crowd who were about to be sold a fat dose of “let the communist save you from the capitalists.”

Then Chavez delivered the death blow as he stood before adoring friends and fans, offering cheap South American oil for the oncoming winter, in a brotherly act of charity towards Harlem’s down-trodden who have been so horribly mistreated by the evils of capitalism. Chavez, the knight in shining armor on silver steed, was in Harlem to save the day and as one might have predicted, Harlem welcomed their new gift-bearing savior with open arms. Not a single person in that room wondered why Harlem was singled out to receive such generous acts of commie kindness--let alone what strings might be attached.

Now I must point out that this man is the leader of a nation of more than 25 million people, 47% of whom live below the poverty line, (and their poverty line is well below that of the United States or even Harlem). Venezuela currently enjoys a 12.2% unemployment rate as opposed to Americas 4.7% rate. The country also has a 16% inflation rate at present and its entire country is completely dependent upon the petrol exports of $2.1 million per day, over 50% of which is bought by the good old USA. For those who need pictures to keep up: America no buy oil, Venezuela no have country, Hugo no have el-job-o.

One might wonder why Chavez is worried about Harlem when he clearly has much bigger problems at home.
In particular, the impoverished Venezuelans must wonder why ole Hugo is giving away their cash, but they still haven't shot him. Yet. Which reminds me:

Dont buy gas from this ass - Hugo Chavez

But I digress, and the best was yet to come: Democrat House leader Nancy Pelosi and representative Charles Rangel from Harlem felt having the dancing monkey parrot their favorite lines was bad for business with an election coming up and of course they're right. Aside from a few moonbats beloved by the Democrat party, Americans don't particularly care to see a puffed-up foreign lunatic running his mouth over the President and if he's reading from the DNC playbook, what does it say about the Donks?

Donk act stolen by Hugo Chavez

Now Chavez, like his pals Castro, Morales, Ahmadinejad, and Mugabe, is looser than lamb poop, but why did he choose this particular time to go off on a bender? I'm surprised that none of the leftoids have come up with the obvious solution:

Rove, you magnificent bastard

Bwahahaha. Thanks, Hugo.