Thursday, September 22, 2011

Elizabeth Warren tells The Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper

This seems to be Elizabeth Warren Greatest Hits Week so I thought I would contribute her wish fulfillment version of The Story of the Ant and The Grasshopper:

The ant worked hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thought the ant was a fool and laughed and danced and played the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper called a press conference and demanded to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others were cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC showed up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America's chattering class was stunned by the sharp contrast.

How could this be in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper was allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appeared on Rosie O'Donnell's show on Oprah's network with the grasshopper and everybody cried when they sang, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN staged a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations filmed the group singing, ‘We shall overcome’.

Barack Obama and Elizabeth Warren proclaimed in widely publicized speeches that the ant had got rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both called for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the Federal EEOC drafted new Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination (EEGAD) rules retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home was confiscated by the government Green Czar.

And on the big screen TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, Elizabeth Warren stood before a wildly applauding group of progressives announcing that a new era of "Fairness" had dawned in America!

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he was in, which just happened to be the ant's old house, crumbled around him because he did not maintain it.

The ant had disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper was found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, was taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorized the once peaceful neighborhood.

It certainly makes one wistful for the old days of the Marxist screech that the workers should own the means of production. The new progressive line seems to have supplanted the workers with everyone who is breathing.