Nothing like a nice lap dance!

Storm-relief money spent at strip clubs:

On the heels of a report earlier this week that Atlanta area Katrina victims were using $2,000 debit cards to purchase luxury items like Louis Vuitton handbags, Houston police yesterday discovered the cards, provided by FEMA and the Red Cross, being used at local strip clubs.
...
According to a report by KPRC, Channel 2, in Houston, a manager at Caligula XXI Gentlemen's Club said he has seen at least one debit card used at his club. A bartender at Baby Dolls, identified only as "Abby," said she has seen many of the cards used at her establishment.

"A lot of customers have been coming in from Louisiana and they've been real happy about the $1.75 beers and they're really nice," she said.

She couldn't say for sure whether the cards she has seen were from the Red Cross or from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, but she found no fault in using federal dollars to guzzle beer at a strip club.

"You lost your whole house, then, why not?" she said "You might want some beer in a strip club. There are a lot of guys out there that like to do that."

Indeed! And I'm sure excited about footing the bill.

Today's Hoot!

The Therapist - Mayor Nagin May Want To Just Run For Dallas Mayor:

DEAN REYNOLDS: Fantastic! Where did Bush fail?”

WOMAN: He failed to educate that retarded mayor of ours. He could have at least paid for a book by Rudy Giuliani, or at least—Lee Iacocca. But that’s it. Our mayor needs to take a class on staying in town when the town is underwater. (screaming from Reynolds’monitor earphone)

DEAN REYNOLDS: Look, is anyone here even a real live black? Good grief, Ted, you send me into what is supposed to be the remnant tinder box of human misery, and I wind up interviewing Condi Rice’s foster family. Is there anyone here that thinks maybe Bush needs to accept the blame for this hurricane?

WOMAN: YES!

DEAN REYNOLDS: About time! In what capacity should Bush accept this blame?

WOMAN: I think he should accept the blame on behalf of Mayor Nagin, “since he couldn’t be here in New Orleans this evening, as he is closing escrow in Dallas”

More fun at WuzzaDem.

The bozos at CAIR ought to hire me!

Cheesy CAIR Photoshop versus Quality Job!

I mean as long as you are going to hire somebody to Photoshop your publicity photos, you might want to get someone with more than a box of crayons.

Today's Hoot!

Mickey Kaus:

Klein on Cooper:

"He is the anchorperson of the future," Jonathan Klein, the president of CNN/U.S., said [of Anderson Cooper] in an interview. He is "an anti-anchorperson," he said, adding: "He's all human. He's not putting it on."--New York Times

Hmmm. I always thought that Anderson Cooper was the anchorman of the future because he was profoundly stupid and had low ratings!

"There is something weird about Jonathan Klein. Everything he says makes you hate him, and also hate anyone he is praising."--kf reader E.

Him too!

Uh Oh! One of the suckers figured it out!

Japan Wants to Pay Less in U.N. Dues:

Japan, which currently funds about 20 percent of the U.N. budget of $1.2 billion, said Thursday it wants to open talks next year on paying less — a move that could spur a drawn-out battle with fellow member states.

As the second-largest contributor to the annual U.N. budget behind the United States, Japan has said for some time that its influence in the world body doesn't match what it pays. Those complaints have increased since its recent efforts to gain a permanent seat on the U.N. Security Council stalled.

I guess they just don't appreciate what an honor it is to pay for all the kleptocrats!

Japan now pays a little less than 20 percent of the U.N. general budget — an amount larger than the combined payments of four of five permanent Security Council members — Britain, France, Russia and China. The United States pays about 22 percent.

Ooops, there's one bigger sucker!

Renegotiating Japan's contribution to the U.N. won't be easy. Dues are assessed according to a complex mathematical formula chiefly based on national income, and other nations could bridle at Tokyo's effort to pay less.

And they would do what, exactly, if Japan paid less? If the USA paid less?

Your tax dollars at work!

Thousands of State-Owned Vehicles Missing:

An examination of California's inventory has revealed that almost of half of the state's cars and trucks are unaccounted for.

The study concluded that 30,000 of the states 70,000 vehicles are missing -- everything from Caltrans trucks, to CHP cars, to fire rigs, to prison vehicles. The audit of state-owned property was ordered by Governor Schwarzenegger, and found state agencies had no idea what they owned.

"It was very bad," said Fred Aguiar, head of the State and Consumer Services Agency. "We were amazed at how inadequate the information was. The data coming from departments and agencies was terrible."

It was so terrible, in fact, the state found that one agency had recently purchased $4 million in new vehicles but had no record of where it bought them.

At least in New Orleans they know where their buses are.

Look what crawled out from under a rock!

Chavez the Killer:

As Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez hit town for this week's special U.N. session, Chavez's flunkies were renting buses and offering to reimburse activists willing to create a "spontaneous" welcome crowd for the populist anti-American.

Tomorrow, Chavez will be the guest of Columbia University's president, Lee Bollinger. And he'll speak Saturday at St. Paul and St. Andrew Methodist Church on 86th Street; Jesse Jackson is set to appear alongside.

Of course, when there's a big United Nations pow wow you get to see all the lower forms of life. And their little pals.

Today's Hoot!

Curmudgeonly & Skeptical:

Beginning on September 19, the NYTimes will charge $49.95 a year for online users to access 22 columnists, including Tom Friedman, Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Frank Rich, sports columnist George Vecsey and business columnist Gretchen Morgenson. Matt Drudge says he will at that point probably delink those columnists from his web site. Kiss of Death. [NewsMax Matt Drudge May Boot NY Times Columnists]

This is not unexpected; other papers will quickly follow suit IMO. It will be fun to watch, because paying $50 a year to read that pack is like going to Blockbusters and renting every Barbra Streisand movie ever made ... they all suck, and you hate her guts anyway.

New Orleans Clown Posse Update!

No worries that the act was getting stale - they've brought in new blood!

First off, how about erstwhile Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La) having a Bus Related Meltdown (video here)? Blonde jokes never go out of style!

Then there's Congressman William Jefferson (D-La) who finagled a National Guard truck and armed escort so he could "tour his home district." Then the Congressman directed the truck to stop at his own house where he left the escort cooling its heels for an hour while he went inside alone and did a little packing - " a laptop computer, three suitcases, and a box about the size of a small refrigerator, which the enlisted men loaded up into the truck." Comedy then ensued when the the truck got stuck after sitting in the mud and the Congressman declined a lift by helicopter that had been diverted from real rescue work. Finally the National Guard sent another truck to haul out the Congressman and his loot. And loot it likely is, since just before the storm hit:

In an unrelated matter, authorities recently searched Jefferson's property as part of a federal investigation into the finances of a high-tech firm. Last month FBI officials raided Jefferson's house as well as his home in Washington, D.C., his car and his accountant's house.

Jefferson has not commented on that matter, except to say he is cooperating with the investigation. But he has emerged as a major voice in the post-Katrina political debate.

Last week, Jefferson set up a special trust fund for contributions to his legal defense in light of the FBI investigation. A senior federal law enforcement source tells ABC News that investigators are interested in learning if Jefferson moved any materials relevant to the investigation. Jefferson says he did not.

He was just picking up some clean undies, I guess.

And how about ole Aaron Broussard, Jefferson Parish President (D), weeping through a bogus sob story on Meet the Press and blaming it all on the Federal Government. Of course, Aaron was probably feeling stressed - he'd just been supoeanaed by the Feds in a local corruption scandal.

As entertaining as the new cast is, however, the old favorites still have what it takes. Governor Kathleen "No Show" Blanco (D) first was miffed that there weren't enough bodies, and then it turns out she was caught on tape on August 31 wondering whether she really, really ought to ask for Federal troops and worrying about the poor looters. I have read the profiles that say ole Kathleen is "deliberate." Has anyone ever considered just plain slow?

And last but not least, there's NO Mayor Ray Nagin (D). Now that he's bought a house in Dallas, we've haven't seen too much of him, but he still hasn't lost that deft comedic touch:

"Appearing on NBC's "Dateline," Nagin was asked by host Stone Phillips: "What was mobilized? I mean were national guard troops in position. Were helicopters standing by? Were buses ready to take people away?"

"No. None of that," the Big Easy mayor replied.

"Why is that?" an incredulous Phillips asked.

Nagin replied: "I dont know. That is (a) question for somebody else."

The Louisiana Democrat didn't explain just who the "somebody else" was..."

Maybe it was somebody on the Ghost Train?

It's going to take more than running the Mississippi through it to clean out this nest of charlatans and losers.

Someday everyone and everything will have a blog

Heather Green at BusinessWeek Online:

Wow, this Juicy Fruit blog is so bad, I could hardly tear myself away from it. Usually I wouldn't bother blogging about this, but it's like a trainwreck.

It doesn't help that Juicy Fruit sucks, either.

Dog Bites Man!

Wizbang!:

Wow, Joe Biden kept it entertaining by outdoing even Kennedy for pomposity and self-righteousness.

Boy howdy! I hope he didn't hurt himself.

He spent eight minutes guffawing at his own jokes before he even asked a question, and then kept cutting off Roberts' answers so that he could pose more questions within his allotted time.

Ole Joe is a knee slapper, but not quite in the way he thinks.

It should be clear to anyone listening that these guys aren't interested in posing questions that get answers. They're only interested in posing questions that paint Roberts as some kind of Neanderthal.

Does Ted Kennedy drive drunk?

Good question

Tim Blair:

Michael Kinsley reveals CNN’s calm and moderate approach to hurricane coverage:

A Los Angeles Times colleague of mine, appearing on CNN last week to talk about Katrina, was told by a producer to “get angry."

I wonder if any CNN producer has ever told, say, a commentator on Islamic terrorism to “get angry”.

Which reminds me of Ben Stein's latest Katrina comment:

What is the real story of Katrina is (I suggest) not so much that nature wrought fury on land, water, people, property, and animals, not at all anything about racism, not much about federal government incompetence. The real story is that the mainstream media rioted.

They've been looting for years.

Line of the day

From an editorial in the Waterbury (Conn.) Republican American - Sen. Kennedy, credible critic:

But Sen. Kennedy's point is well taken. Something is amiss when fat cats with cars can escape with their lives while plain folk are condemned to watery graves. And it's worse when authorities are slow to respond to such emergencies because those in a position to summon help waited too long to ask for it. Just ask Mary Jo Kopechne.

Now for something completely different

The Register takes a break from boring computer stuff - Battling nonagenarian grabs burglar by 'nads:

A battling 93-year-old Lithuanian woman has thwarted an attempted burglary by grasping one of the miscreants by the testicles so hard that the sobbing blagger required hospital treatment, Ananova reports.
...
Popova continued: "He started screaming like an animal and his friend was trying to pull him free, but I have a grip like iron." The man's howling and his mate's protestations that the old girl should lay off alerted neighbours who called in law enforcement. The two broke free but were cuffed by police after escaping the attacking nonagenarian through a bedroom window. One was taken to hospital, the other to the lock-up.

A police officer noted: "They would not have got far, one of them could hardly walk and seemed pleased when he saw the police car. He demanded that he be taken to hospital because he was in so much pain."

Popova attributes her grip of steel to years of milking goats.

I survived Katrina and all I got was this Vuitton purse!

NY Daily News - Lavish tastes of card-carrying lowlifes:

Profiteering ghouls have been using debit cards distributed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina - intended to buy essentials for evacuated families - in luxury-goods stores as far away as Atlanta.

"We've seen three of the cards," said a senior employee of the Louis Vuitton store at the Lenox Square Mall in affluent Buckhead, who asked not to be named. "Two I'm certain have purchased; one actually asked if she could use it in the store. This has been since Saturday."
...
The source told me that the two women who had made purchases with the card each bought a signature monogrammed Louis Vuitton handbag in the $800 range.

"They didn't look destitute by any stretch. You would never have said, 'They must be one of the evacuees.' … The one that I dealt with yesterday was 20. She'll be 21 next month." The source described the reaction of other store-keepers in the mall - which includes luxury brands Ferragamo, Burberry, Judith Leiber and Neiman Marcus - as "outrage."

Apparently the card says on it that it's not good for alcohol, tobacco and firearms. I'm so relieved!

Now more than ever