Wednesday, February 08, 2006

And I was like, "No way!"

A dimwitted teen phoned in a terrifying bomb threat to LaGuardia Airport - forcing panicked passengers to evacuate a plane - so she could buy herself time to get on the flight to avoid an explosive love triangle.

Airheaded Anna Tarasov, 19, admitted to The Post yesterday that she came up with the scheme because the subway made her late for her impending flight from New York to Georgia to confront a jealous boyfriend.

"I remember thinking it wouldn't be such a big deal. It totally slipped my mind about the terrorists," the red-faced teen said. "Then it hit me. 'Of all the places. This is New York.' It was very stupid."
So was calling from her cellphone.
Although a warrant for her arrest has been issued, Tarasov said she has been in touch with authorities and they said they "will try to work everything out here in Atlanta."
One can only hope that "working everything out" involves some time making gravel from boulders at a Federal institution of higher learning.

Airstrike on Perky Katie Couric!

Drudge reports that the perky one got what she so richly deserves. Yes, there are photos.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Title of the day

Castro invites Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Cuba...
Two birds with one stone: Priceless.
If Hugo Chavez would come to the party, it could be a triple play! Gosh, that sure makes me nostalgic for the good ole days when the CIA actually fought the nation's enemies.

Line of the day

Cold Fury:
I went to the Coretta Scott King funeral and all I got was this lousy liberal political rally.
Which reminds me, where were all these oleaginous pals of hers when she was checking herself into a fly-by-night Mexican clinic?

Today's Hoot!

Eh Canada!:
According to informed sources, the election of Harper as PM has prompted the exodus among left-leaning Canadians who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of Toronto sociology professors, animal rights activists, and New Socialists crossing their fields at night seeking the US border fence.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Vancouver film producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
Some Canadian liberals have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips headed to USA where they can cut the queues and get medical care unavailable to Canadians. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, INS authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed Canadian senior-citizen passengers coming into the US to play bingo.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Everyone picks on Larry Welk.

Guess we know where the Danish imams like to websurf

The other day, Michelle Malkin had a post about Danish imams touring the Middle East and firing up their poor impulse control comrades about the Danish cartoons of Mohammed. Since the cartoons are rather mild, they decided to spiff up their story with some cartoons of their own.

Fake Mohammed cartoons of the Danish imams

Now it turns out that the middle one is a fuzzy rendition of "a photo of Jacques Barrot, a pig squealing contestant at the French Pig-Squealing Championships in Trie-sur-Baise’s annual festival."

Naughty imams! Hanging out at pig squealing contest web sites! As for the one on the right with the dog and the guy in the robe, I guess they enjoy the kinky pr0n side of the Internet too. Who knew imams had such er, diverse interests? Hate to tell ya, guys, but we're all laughing at ya!

Michelle Malkin has more on the story.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

It must be tough to always have your knickers in a twist

Maybe it's a vast untapped market for ritalin and thorazine?

Click the pic for the full sized version.

Time for some new Mohammed cartoons

I don't know about you, but I've been getting a laugh out of the Danish Mohammed cartoons since mid-December. Such a rich vein of comedy cries out for more japery and while I can't draw worth a darn, here are some of my own offerings in the eternal quest to picture all sides of the mysterious one.

Wise Mohammed

Mohammed's feminine side

Mohammed's gonna be grumpy

(Hat tip: Sacred Cow Burgers for the original of number 2)

Update: Hans Bricks doesn't draw any better than I do, but he has a fetching illustration of Mohammed practicing Tai Chi. Meanwhile, Aaron goes high tech with an animated Mohammed cartoon, not to mention flogging Mohammed cartoon hats. The only good news is that the nutjobs apparently don't watch South Park.

The economy must be booming

Homeless find work as union pickets:
You've heard the panhandler's common refrain, "Will work for food."

How about: "Will picket for food"?

In Washington, Baltimore, Atlanta and elsewhere in the country, union organizers are scouring shelters and recruiting homeless people to maintain their picket lines, paying just above minimum wage and failing to provide health benefits.

The national carpenters' union, which broke from the AFL-CIO four years ago in a bitter dispute over organizing strategies and other issues, is hiring homeless people to stage noisy protests at non-union construction sites.
Sheesh, it's the revenge of the squeegee guys! They could scare off everyone with their breath.
"We're giving jobs to people who didn't have jobs, people who in some cases couldn't secure work," said George Eisner, head of the union's mid-Atlantic regional council in Baltimore.

The carpenters who belong to his union, Eisner explained, are already gainfully employed. With homes and offices being built or renovated and real estate still booming in many urban areas, he said, the union carpenters are too busy to join the picket lines.
I'm surprised they aren't using illegal aliens. After all, they're only here to do jobs no one else will do. Of course, they may all be busy working too.