Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Burge and Blair do Bonneville

Head over to Iowahawk and scroll down for the start of the 5 part Bonneville Diary starring David Burge and Tim Blair. Think of it as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas without the fear or loathing and with nitromethane instead of illicit substances. But there is a casino:
But something still bugs me -- that damned global warming video slot machine down in the Montego Bay lobby. "Stay here," I tell Hawkspawn. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." I slide a fiver into the machine, feeling strangely lucky. After three or four spins, the thing goes crazy. I line up a staggered row of global warming cubes; a dancing tuxedoed penguin appears, busts through his snow globe and hops into the waiting arms of pink lady walrus with enormous knockers. 52 bucks! I collect the windfall and return to the room. I crank the A/C down to 63 degrees.

Take that, Gaia!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Kevin Rudd tries a Bubba defense

Kevin Rudd saw no lap dancers

It just gets better. After a brave attempt by various fellow travelers to pass off a drunken strip club visit by Australian Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd as proof that he's just a "bloke" and not the little prig everyone thought, more sober reflection has shifted the game to a Bubba Clinton-style "I didn't inhale" defense:

KERRY O’BRIEN: But can you remember seeing lap dancers performing?
KEVIN RUDD: Look, what I can recall in terms of the actual venue itself was that not much more than you would see in the last 20 years in a certain of the pubs in Australia, I’ve got to say.

KERRY O’BRIEN: But that’s what I would like to clarify. Because you don’t see lap dancing in most pubs in Australia. Can you recall seeing lap dancers performing while you were there?
KEVIN RUDD: No, I can’t.

So the current spin is that Kev was so sh*t-faced he just sat there like a vegetable completely unaware of his surroundings. Not a pretty picture, but likely more acceptable to the Labor Party femnazis and the more straight-laced voters. Meanwhile, Sydney Morning Herald blogger Jack Marx got fired for being a little too imaginative about possible un-vegetable like behavior of the SMH's favorite politician:
The dancer would have begun with some general pole work; a few twirls here and there, leaning back, bending forward at the waist, that sort of thing. Nothing spectacular - not yet - just some gentle gymnastics to get the blood pumping. Perhaps she would have noticed the little man smiling at her from the edge of the stage, perhaps she didn't. But he noticed her, that's for sure. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. She was gorgeous.

That is one of the less exciting portions.

Kevin Rudd has some new friends

Australian Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd may be embarrassed over his escapade at the Scores strip club in NYC while on a taxpayer financed visit to the United Nations, but some folks are sticking by him including the girls at Melbourne's Goldfingers Men's Club:
The girls of Goldfingers would like to see more of fun loving Kevin '03 rather than the stale and stuffy "Kevin '07" and thus invite him to attend Goldfingers when he visits Melbourne on the campaign trail.

We believe that in his position, Mr. Rudd should be setting an example by supporting "Australian Made" performers rather than spending tax payer's money on US goods!!!!

(Our management will be reminding him on arrival that we have a strict no touching policy in order to avoid a repeat of the Scores fiasco!)
Better yet, whoever is running ole Kev's MySpace operation accepted the "friend" request - "Kevin Rudd accepts Goldfingers friendship during this trying time." C'mon Kev, give the local product a try!


Every MySpace friend request must be approved by Rudd's office, but nobody picked the link.

"It's hilarious," Amber Bartlett, from Goldfingers, said.

"I sent the request as a bit of a joke at 1am . . . and by 9.30am he
was our friend.

"It's a bit surprising.

"It's like he had no hesitation."

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Christian Socialist Kevin Rudd offers Australians a new angle

The best part of Kevin Rudd getting kicked out of a NYC strip club is that Mr. Milquetoast is always prattling on about his saintliness:

THE political danger for Kevin Rudd as he contemplates his moment of madness is that it gives the lie to the persona he has so far successfully sold to voters.

We are talking here, not only of Rudd’s deliberate projection as a bookish, Mandarin speaking intellect. But more of his claims to being a church going family man who counts as his hero Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Lutheran pastor martyred by Adolf Hitler. The aspiration to high principle by association is obvious.

Just last week Rudd addressed the Australian Christian Lobby. He was a prominent member of the Federal Parliamentary prayer group. He has previously declared the Christian faith, along with a commitment to social justice, to be one of the guiding principles of his life.

And this: “For me, my family is the most important thing in my life. It is the backbone of my life.”

Of course, it doesn't help that he was travelling as an Australian representative to the United Nations where high living is a way of life. However, the real question is, considering what normally goes on at the strip bar in question, what could Mr. Milquetoast have possibly done to get kicked out?