Fun with fools

From Hugh Hewiit via the Radio Blogger:

James Lileks:

HH: Joined now by James Lileks, columnist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, blogger extraordinaire at Lileks.com. James, your take on the week of Alito?

JL: Oh, where does one begin? The fantasy that comes back to me, again and again, is seeing these people grill Albert Einstein.

HH: (laughing)

JL: I would love to see Biden leaning forward with that expression of deep concern, and saying you know, Doc...Doc, I've read that you believe that E=MC2, but I gotta say I'm troubled by it. And I'm puzzled as well. And weren't you a member of a country that elected Hitler?

HH: (laughing)

JL: I mean, it would be like that. It would be like engaging in a colloquy on the theory of relativity with Einstein, with these guys who had a chemistry set when they were in 4th grade, and believe that qualified to study the theoretical...
...
JL: The one thing we have learned, at least, is that we now know for sure that the Republicans do not have an operative hidden deep in Teddy Kennedy's camp, because if they did, this would be the perfect opportunity to slip him talking points based entirely on Dr. Seuss books, and he would read them with absolutely no...with as little comprehension and recognition of the fact that he was asking Alito about whether or not he'd come out against Green Eggs and Ham. He would no more hear the absurdity of that, than the absurdity of...

HH: But you know, Herb Kohl would do the same thing. He, too, was a distinguished reader of whatever was handed to him.

Mark Steyn:

HH: I'm joined by Mark Steyn, columnist to the world. You can read everything he has to say at Steynonline.com. Mark, I've got lots to ask you about the Alito hearings. But let's start with your general impression of the almost four days of blathering that's been going on in the Senate Judiciary Committee by Democratic Senators, and the resolute responses of Judge Alito.

MS: Uh, sorry Hugh, I think you'll have to make that question a lot longer. After listening to Joe Biden, I'm not used to questions that last less than eleven minutes now. But I think that, whatever it is, that Harry Potter music, or whatever you've got, they actually need underscoring for some of these epic statement.
...
MS: You know, I think the Senate has passed beyond parody now. I would love somebody to do a reality TV show, like Survivor, where you drop someone in the United States Senate, and they have to see how much questioning they can stand by the Senate Judiciary Committee, before they flee the island. I mean, this is now beyond parody. These ludicrous obsessions, you know, where troubling is the word. I love that. I find it troubling. I find it troubling that at a grade school in New Jersey in 1952, you belonged to a group that played ethnically insensitive games of cowboys and Indians. There's no play for racism in America. I mean, this is as absurd as you can get, the obsessions, the questioning, and the lack of self-awareness of these Senators...

HH: That is pretty amazing. They do not appear to understand how they are appearing to the world.
...
MS: And when I've compared them in the past to the House of Lords...you know, the difference between the House of Lords is that when you went to see any of these dukes or marquises or earls, who'd been in the House of Lords since the 12th Century, there were like three dukes to an office. They were wedged in a pokie office with one little secretary between them. These Senators have huge staffs, and when you listen to Ted Kennedy, Ted Kennedy is a pitiful creature who is incapable of doing anything other than reading out the prepared statements and questions for him by his staffers. These are not citizen legislators. This is not republican government. It is a disgrace, and an abomination for anybody to have to sit through twelve minute questions prepared by a staff that's bigger than the court of your average Gulf emir. It's pathetic.

Not to worry about Teddy, he can still call for another round of drinks on his own.

It's the perfessers again!

I clearly should have pursued a career in science - Jogging your way to saggy breasts:

Some 9.5 million British women could be irreversibly damaging their busts by exercising without a proper sports bra, the Portsmouth University team said.

They found breasts moved in a 3D figure of eight and that uncontrolled movement strained fragile tissues and ligaments.

The study suggested as a woman runs a mile, her breasts bounced 135 meters.

The report found each breast moved independently of the body by an average of 9cm for every step taken on the treadmill.

With the average breast weighing between 200 and 300 grams, this movement puts great stress on the breast's fragile support structure - the outer skin and connective tissues known as Cooper's ligaments.
...
They claim that wearing an ordinary T-shirt bra reduced bounce by 38%, but wearing a sports bra by the firm Shock Absorber - which sponsored the research - reduced bounce by 78%.

Not to mention a twin I-beam suspension.

Well that's a fine kettle of fish!

The lungs of the planet are belching methane:

IT'S not just farting cows and belching sheep that spew out methane. Living plants have been disgorging millions of tonnes of the potent greenhouse gas into the atmosphere every year - without anybody noticing.
...
When the group repeated the tests with living plants they were stunned by the amount of methane created. They estimate that, globally, living plants produce between 63 and 236 million tonnes of methane per year, with plant debris adding another 1 to 7 million tonnes. This would make plants responsible for roughly 10 to 30 per cent of global methane production.

It's darn ecologically irresponsible of those pesky weeds if you ask me!.

Have Canada's Liberals been hanging with the US Democrat party?

Edmonton Sun: Stick a fork in 'em:

Hey, did you know that there are soldiers in Canadian cities? Soldiers. With guns. In our cities. In Canada. You did? Then you're one up on the Liberal Party of Canada, which apparently had one of the biggest brain cramps in political history when it came up with the now utterly vilified and also roundly mocked attack ad on Stephen Harper this week.

The voiceover on the ad says this: "Stephen Harper actually announced he wants to increase military presence in our cities. Canadian cities. Soldiers with guns. In our cities. In Canada. We did not make this up. Choose your Canada."

With the militaristic drumbeat in the background, the viewer is left with the impression that Harper's first act as prime minister would be to declare martial law. In fact, all Harper has said is that as part of strengthening the military in Canada, he'd like to have more soldiers stationed in cities to aid in emergencies and natural disasters.

So the ad is not only completely disingenuous and misleading (which is hardly unusual for the Liberals) but in the end, all it's doing is insulting our proud men and women of the military who are admired and respected by ordinary Canadians, not feared.

Indeed, it's obvious that the death-spiralling Liberals are so out of touch with real Canada that no one in the party bothered to point out before the ad was initially released that there are already plenty of soldiers in Canadian cities - cities like Edmonton, which has its own military base. Those soldiers are valued members of our community, and rightly so.

Time for them to announce that "they support the troops." Damination! rounds up some of the japery and by gosh, Liberal PM Paul Martin's story is:

At a press conference later in the morning, he assured reporters that the reason a similar ad was still running in Quebec was to show support for the armed forces.

Maybe they can invite Howard Dean up to help them explain it.

Here's something you don't see every day

Some 'Pieces' buyers offered refund

Random House is offering refunds to readers who bought James Frey's drug and alcohol memoir "A Million Little Pieces" directly from the publisher, following accusations the author exaggerated his story.

Readers calling Random House's customer service line to complain Wednesday were told that if the book was bought directly from the publisher it could be returned for a full refund. Those who bought the book at a bookstore were told to try and return it to the store where it was bought.

"If the book was bought directly from us we will refund the purchase price in full," one Random House customer service told Reuters, adding that readers would have to return the book with the original invoice. "If you bought it at a bookstore, we ask that you return the book to the bookstore."

Only a small portion of consumers buy books directly from publishers. However, the agent said Random House normally sells books to consumers as nonrefundable but is offering refunds on Frey's book "because of the controversy surrounding it."

Random House subsequently issued a statement saying it was standard procedure to offer refunds. Bookseller Barnes & Noble Inc. also said it is standard practice to offer refunds for returned books.

Frey's memoir of alcohol and drug-induced mayhem sold 1.77 million copies last year after being chosen by Oprah Winfrey's book club in September, making it the best-selling nonfiction book in 2005. Only Harry Potter sold more copies.

But investigative Web site The Smoking Gun Sunday reported the book, published by Random House's Doubleday division, was full of exaggeration and inaccuracies.

If book publishers actually give refunds when books are full of "exaggeration and inaccuracies," then Simon and Schuster is in trouble.



"I was shocked to discover that Bubba was fooling around! Shocked I tell ya!"

I suppose Knopf is in trouble too for Bubba's book, but they can probably get out of it by using a quiz to prove that no one actually read it.

The downside of Goggle Video Search...

Is that some things just shouldn't be seen. For example, this or this. On the other hand, this "fun with PETA" video may have socially redeeming value.

"Smokin' In The Boys' Room"

Them perfessers have been at it again - Downloads, iPods make music more 'disposable':

A University of Leicester psychologist has concluded that modern listeners don't value music as much as their 19th-century counterparts did - and he blames the iPod and music downloading.

Wait, let me turn down the volume a little. OK, tell me more.

A team of researchers from Leicester, Surrey and York universities, led by Leicester School of Psychology's Dr Adrian North, questioned 346 mobile-phone users by text message. Over a 14-day period, they were daily asked to report back on music they had heard in the previous 24 hours.

The goal of the study was to prove "people's experiences of music in naturalistic, everyday circumstances", said Dr North.

Apparently the Doc and his pals never thought that perhaps surveying "mobile-phone users by text message" might skew the results. Kind of the way the MSM surveys mostly Democrats before issuing their policy pronouncements disguised as poll results. Well, sure enough:

The results: participants are highly exposed to music; they listen to more pop than classical, jazz or other forms; they tend to listen when they're on their own; they tend to hear more music at home than in public; music was usually experienced during the course of some activity other than deliberate music listening, and - guess what - "liking for the music varied depending on who the participant was with, where they were, and whether they had chosen to be able to hear music".

All of which, we're sure, anyone could have told the researchers. Still, it's good to have it down in black and white, all statistically verified and everything. And it keeps academics off the streets.

A consummation devoutly to be wished. There's more of the Doc's blather by following the link, but here's a gem:

In conclusion, Dr North notes: "In the 19th century, music was seen as a highly valued treasure with fundamental and near-mystical powers of human communication... Because so much music of different styles and genres is now so widely available via portable MP3 players and the internet, it is arguable that people now actively use music in everyday listening contexts to a much greater extent than hitherto.

Sheesh, someone get me a grant! I'm going to discover elevator music.

Saddam's buttboy, George Galloway, officially jumps the shark

Galloway at the centre of TV row:

LONDON - Maverick MP George Galloway, who famously attacked the U.S.-led war in Iraq during a feisty performance in the Senate, is at the centre of a new row.

The flamboyant politician is currently taking part in the reality television show "Celebrity Big Brother," for which he is locked in a camera-filled house with, among others, a glamour model, former basketball player Dennis Rodman, and a singer called Maggot.

It must be confusing having two people in the house with the same name.

And some of his London constituents are not happy.

One in particular has set up his own Web site, called "Why Isn't He At Work?" (http://beta.cergis.com/george), which he says has received over 25,000 hits since it was set up on Friday.

"I just felt he was supposed to be representing us in the House of Commons and not in the Big Brother house," the site designer, Paul Skinner, 40, told Reuters.

"He's obviously publicising himself, not his constituents and their issues."

Georgie is always publicizing himself, except when he's doing oil deals with Third World thugs. Then he's real quiet.

It sure beats "My dog ate my homework"

BBC hacks in CES porn kidnap outrage:

Here's a poser for all you IT hacks out there: you've been dispatched to CES in Vegas to check out the latest in 110m plasma widescreens and Skype-enabled Bluetooth mice when, suddenly, you find youself strangely drawn toward a bar, outside of which the porn industry's finest are parading along a red carpet on their way to the annual Adult Entertainment Expo next door.

At that moment, your mobile rings. It's your editor demanding to know why you haven't filed that earth-shaking exclusive on the very cutting-edge of domestic media servers. What's your excuse?

Well, if you're the BBC's Gareth Mitchell and producer Julian Siddle, it's pretty simple: "We tried to get out of the bar for two hours, but the bouncers wouldn't let us cross the red carpet, so we had to get legless while loads of top-quality, pneumatic totty and horse-endowed stallions strutted their stuff before our eyes."

Or words to that effect.

The BBC article, "How I was trapped by porn at CES", has the sad story.

Old Rumblossom's Tall Tales

Sen. Kennedy to Publish Children's Book :

Meet the latest children's author, Sen. Ted Kennedy, and his Portuguese Water Dog, Splash, his co-protagonist in "My Senator and Me: A Dogs-Eye View of Washington, D.C."

Of course, sometimes Teddy swims alone:

According to Scholastic, Kennedy's book "not only takes readers through a full day in the Senator's life...

Like having breakfast:

...but also explains how a bill becomes a law."

Senator Kennedy gives a speech:

I bet the staffer who wrote this for the old rumpot got plenty of brownie points. Florida Cracker has some suggested titles for sequels. I like "The New Adventures of Senator Underpants."

(Hat tip for #2: Curmudgeonly & Skeptical who has moved again.)

Line of the day!

Tim Blair wins going away with Hey, Mr. Taliban!

And then Hugo said breathlessly, "Harry, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Plus don't miss Kim Jong Il, Zarqawi Protest Belafonte’s Bush Remarks:

“What does Belafonte know about tyranny?” Mr. Kim told the reporter at a rare news conference.
...
Meanwhile, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, leader of al Qaeda in Iraq, decried Mr. Belafonte’s “ignorant remarks” and invited him to visit Baghdad or Ramadi “to see who’s the greatest terrorist in the world."

(Photo hat tip: reagan_fanatic)

A blast from the past!

Aaron Margolis spots John Kerry whining about Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney hunting on a game preserve and applies the clue bat. That certainly brings back many happy memories.

Today's Hoot!

Beautiful Atrocities alerts us that GERMANS, AMERICANS AGREE ON THREAT TO CIVILIZED WORLD.

The Oddfather hits the road to talk about corruption

Fuhgeddaboutit!

Democratic Leader Takes Anti-Corruption Message to GOP Turf:

Harry M. Reid is heading into the belly of the beast.

The Senate minority leader will spend much of this week traveling to "red states" -- those that voted for George W. Bush in 2004 -- to campaign for candidates, raise cash and bash Republicans on the issue of corruption.

In each state Reid will conduct events seeking to highlight the need to "restore honest leadership in Washington, D.C.," said his spokesman Jim Manley.

Somehow I don't think the Oddfather will be talking about the family business or his lobbyist cash.

The landlord isn't going to be happy

Suspected Counterfeiters Clog Toilet:

PUEBLO, Colo. Jan 6, 2006 — Two people suspected of counterfeiting money spent at least a week relieving themselves in plastic shopping bags, because the plumbing stopped working in their apartment when they flushed wads of suspected fake cash down the toilet, authorities said.

Selina Jean Valdez, 28, was arrested Thursday on a warrant for forgery, possession of forgery instruments and criminal mischief. Her suspected partner Daniel Marquez, 41, is wanted on the same charges.

It was one of those cheesy "make counterfeit cash for dummies with your personal computer" deals, but clogging the crapper with paper and pooping in plastic bags doesn't sound that bad.

Investigators said they think Marquez and Valdez flushed wads of the counterfeit money down the toilet on Dec. 26 when detectives tried to question the two suspects. The rental duplex where Valdez and Marquez were staying was discovered flooded with sewage Thursday when police executed a search warrant.

Oh yeah, that's bad. I hope the cops had rubber boots. Tall rubber boots.

Here's a new one

Camilla's protector paid out:

A Black police bodyguard who protected the Duchess of Cornwall has won $70,000 (Australian $ presumably - ed.) compensation after suing Scotland Yard for "over-promoting" him because of political correctness.

Sgt Leslie Turner -- the first black personal protection officer to guard the royal family -- will receive the "racial discrimination" payout after reaching an out-of-court settlement with London's Metropolitan Police.

His representatives argued he landed the prestigious job as Camilla's bodyguard only because he was black.

It was claimed that as a result of being over-promoted and not receiving proper training and support, Sgt Turner made mistakes which led to him being re-assigned.

Is that slick or what? Hmmm, there's got to be a way other folks can get on this gravy train. How about if Caucasians claim they were over-promoted because of "silent discrimination," or Orientals because "everyone knows how smart they are."