Saturday, January 17, 2004

Nothing like a campaign!

John Tierney presents some Iowa campaign awards in the NY Times:
Honor Roll

Least Controversial Policy Pronouncement. From Mr. Edwards's stump speech: "I say no to children going to bed hungry."

Giant Pander Award. The competition was fierce this campaign. Besides the usual paeans to ethanol subsidies, candidates passionately swore fealty to the "national packer ban," which would prevent meat-packing companies from owning herds that would compete with Iowa farmers.

But Representative Dennis J. Kucinich showed special flare before a Des Moines audience worried about his plans for a national health care system. Since his public system was supposed to replace private companies with all their unnecessary paperwork and profits, what would happen to all the insurance workers in Des Moines now shuffling that needless paperwork? Not to worry! All these workers "absolutely" will get jobs in the new streamlined federal system, Mr. Kucinich said, and added with a perfectly straight face, "I mean, where better to find the expertise than here in Des Moines?"

Nowhere except maybe New Hampshire.
I was also amazed to read that the haughty French looking guy was voted "the most polite customer — and best tipper" by the "waiters, bartenders and hotel workers in Des Moines" that Tierney surveyed.