Yee Haw!: In the Raleigh (NC) News and Observer, G. D Gearino gets a chuckle out of the news that "A huge moonshine operation was discovered in Philadelphia two weeks ago after an explosion ripped through an illegal distillery in an industrial area on the city's north side. A state investigator later expressed amazement that moonshine was being manufactured in a Northern metropolis: "I was always under the impression that it came up from the South," he told the Philadelphia Daily News." He proposes "that we send some of Johnston County's finest distillers to Philadelphia as part of a moonshine outreach program. After all, Johnston County is the epicenter of liquor-making in North Carolina. As any state Alcohol Law Enforcement agent will tell you, it's the major-leagues of bootlegging. Young moonshiners everywhere tinker with their boilers and dream of the day when they get called up to Johnston County to play with the big boys. So let's export some of that talent. Let's put it to good use in those areas of the world that have the desire -- but not necessarily the intellectual firepower -- to develop their own moonshine industry.".

For those of you unfamiliar with Southern geography, Johnston County is right next door to Raleigh, the state capital, and consists of tobacco and cotton farms turning into shopping malls. Why it should be a hotbed of moonshining is unclear, but it belies the stereotype of Dogpatch denizens hiding their stills in a mountain holler. The predictable punchline is: "Remember, countless people from the North have moved to Dixie over the years, and virtually all arrived here with suggestions on how things could be improved. They've been uncommonly generous with their advice, those Northern people. I can't think of a single aspect of life that they've overlooked as they sought to help us. Let's return that favor." Amen, brother.