CAPTAIN DAN THE FORGERY MAN AWARDThere's a million of them! How about:
"The story is true. The story is true. . . . So, one, there is no internal investigation. Two, somebody may be shell-shocked, but it is not I, and it is not anybody at CBS News. Now, you can tell who is shell-shocked by the ferocity of the people who are spreading these rumors." — Rather, denying that CBS would investigate his story on President Bush
KOOKY KEITH AWARDThe MRC also has Times Watch 'Quotes of Note Worst of 2004' featuring the ripest foolishness from the New York Times. Where else could you read tripe like:
"John Dean, who was at the center of the greatest political scandal in this nation's history, has produced a book with perspective, and that perspective is simply terrifying. The bottom line: George Bush has done more damage to this nation than his old boss, Richard Nixon, ever dreamt of. . . . This could have been the historical, essentially, prequel to George Orwell's novel 1984, that if you wanted to see what the very first step out of maybe 50 steps towards this totalitarian state that Orwell wrote about in his novel, this [President Bush's policies] would be the kind of thing that you would see." — MSNBC's Keith Olbermann on Countdown
DARTH VADER AWARD
There are those who believe that Dick Cheney has led this administration and this president down a path of recklessness, that maybe his approach, his dark approach to this constant battle against another civilization, is actually the wrong approach for ultimately keeping America safe." — NBC's David Gregory, shortly before Cheney's acceptance speech
Tots surely won't recognize that Santa's big entrance in front of the throngs of frenzied elves and awe-struck children directly evokes, however unconsciously, one of Hitler's Nuremberg rally entrances in Leni Riefenstahl's 'Triumph of the Will.' But their parents may marvel that when Santa's big red sack of toys is hoisted from factory floor to sleigh it resembles nothing so much as an airborne scrotum." -- Movie critic Manohla Dargis reviewing "The Polar Express," November 10.Then there are all the folks with their New Year's Resolutions. The NY Post asks some celebs and got some rather nontraditional responses:
Actress Diahann Carroll: "To be more selfish and think more about myself."Toilet Boys?
Miss Guy, lead singer of the Toilet Boys: "To drink more, smoke more and have more sex."
Andy Clerkson, editorial director, Maxim magazine: "To fight off worrying symptoms of metrosexuality. I will refuse latte, lightly tinted sunglasses, fingernail-buffing and the phrase 'low-carb' in favor of billiards, dirt biking and drinking hard liquor at the office."
And one more:
Actor Dan Aykroyd: "To look [others] in the eye for the fond, warm embrace that wafts across this great, free land, and let us remember this phrase: 'Death to our enemies! Go, Marines!'"Could Dan be funnin' us? He doesn't seem the type.