Who let Crazy Uncle Wally out?



I knew Karl Rove would get blamed:

But I didn't think it would be that old, senile bastard Walter Cronkite:

Cronkite: "I'm a little inclined to think that Karl Rove, the political manager at the White House, who is a very clever man, he probably set up bin Laden to this thing."

Wally is probably just confusing it with one of his greatest hits.

UPDATE: Yikes! Tim Blair has actual email proof:

From: binny@toraboradeathcave.com
Date: Thurs October 28, 2004
To: karl@satan.net
Subject: new videotaping we have

Yo, Rovemeister!

Is Osama here. How you do? Hope all is well with campaign for evil, etc. (How about that John Kerry wife - the crazy one. Two burkas for her at least! Kerry, he was surely wearing the fermented hummous goggles when they wed!)

More details of the nefarious plot by following the link.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 3:47 PM -

 
The full Osama Yomama transcript!

INDC Journal:

"In addition, the infidel George Bush is outsourcing America's future with tax cuts to the wealthy. Where are the 1.6 million jobs? The infidel Bush is the first infidel since the infidel Herbert Hoover to lose jobs! Awake from your slumber, America! The infidel John Kerry has a plan. You can do better, Insha'Allah!"

"Let me tell you, I spoke to the infidel Christopher Reeve a week ago, and if the infidel John Kerry is elected President, Insha'Allah, the infidel Christopher Reeve will walk again!"

"Are you infidels aware that the infidel John Kerry killed infidels in a war of imperialist infidel aggression in Southeast Asia?"

"The infidel Mary Cheney is a lesbian."

More by following the link. Looks like some other folks are finding missing portions of the transcript as well!

Update: And this:

John Kerry has been gaining in the polls every day since Oct. 21, and George Bush has been going down every day.

"That's how God wants it to be."

Ooops! That was "war hero" Senator Tom Harkin.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:31 AM -

 
Hard cheese for wingnuts?

From a reader at The Corner - Osama admits it:

And now, perhaps, Reuters will stop referring to Al Qaeda as the group the Bush administration "claims" is responsible for 9/11. But I won't hold my breath.

I was thinking the same for the "9/11 was a Jewish/Mossad/CIA/Neocon/Bush plot" crowd, but he's right - it won't even be a speed bump for the moonbats.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:41 AM -

 
Biscuits and gravy

John "I released all my records" Kerry:

Brokaw: Someone has analyzed the President's military aptitude tests and yours, and concluded that he has a higher IQ than you do.

Kerry: That's great. More power. I don't know how they've done it, because my record is not public. So I don't know where you're getting that from.

Silent Running:

It seems from his invitation to us to surrender that he's a big fan of Michael Moore. That DVD of "Farenheit 9/11" got through to Waziristan I see...
...
Is Osama taking his talking points from Kos? It's a pity he didn't stage his "October surprise" a little earlier, he could have really made an impact at the Democratic National Convention. I'm sure Jimmy Carter would have invited him to his skybox, although it would have been a bit of a squeeze with Michael Moore in there as well. And I don't even want to speculate about the smell.

Belmont Club:

It is important to notice what he has stopped saying in this speech. He has stopped talking about the restoration of the Global Caliphate. There is no more mention of the return of Andalusia. There is no more anticipation that Islam will sweep the world. He is no longer boasting that Americans run at the slightest wounds; that they are more cowardly than the Russians. He is not talking about future operations to swathe the world in fire but dwelling on past glories. He is basically saying if you leave us alone we will leave you alone. Though it is couched in his customary orbicular phraseology he is basically asking for time out.

Captain Ed:

CNN reports that John Kerry waited all of about 15 nanoseconds to use the new Osama bin Laden videotape to boost his political fortunes, even after he claimed that all Americans were united in their determination to defeat terrorism

Bill Maher still has the hots for jihadis:

Maher says some of the stuff in the bin Laden tape "I swear to God could have come out of the Democratic National Committee or a Kerry speech." Maher starts to read; Gen Wes Clark interrupts -- sensibly -- and doesn't want to seem by silence to be agreeing with that. Maher reads some of bin Laden's statements and the audience -- amazingly -- applauds! Maher: "Sometimes you can agree with an evil person. I mean, Hitler was a vegetarian." What the F has become of us? A studio audience is applauding a mass murderer?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:45 AM -

 
It's not the Onion! But it could be.



Coin From an ‘Alien Civilization’:

Al-JOUF, 29 October 2004 — A Saudi newspaper yesterday reported the discovery of what it called a rare coin with unique features that belonged to an ancient civilization. The paper said the coin had an inscription in an unknown language that was not English. It described the coin as having a palm tree with eight branches, a woman sunbathing, a ship and a castle with a dome.

According to the newspaper, the coin belonged to an ancient civilization that flourished in Al-Jouf.

The strange thing is that the “strange” coin, which the paper claimed had an inscription in an unknown language, had Puerto Rico inscribed clearly on it. The coin is believed to have been left behind by one of the tourists visiting the area and does not belong to any ancient civilization as claimed by the newspaper.

Sheesh! But I have even worse news, fellas! It's obviously a charm from a charm bracelet (notice the little eyelets?) and Puerto Rico uses US currency.

Hat tip: Silent Running.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:29 AM -

 
Looks real to me!



Except for Mikey's left hand, that is. I think he's got his arm up the puppet's butt and is working the jaws.

(Hat tip: Registered)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:05 PM -

 
Hot times at the United Nations!

It's not just about greasy lying bureacrats with bad teeth! There's apparently a lot of steam just under the surface - UN's Annan in new scandal after clearing sex harassment official:

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan was embroiled in a new scandal after it emerged that he cleared a top official of sexual harassment despite an internal enquiry which backed the victim's claims.

Annan cleared Ruud Lubbers in July after a woman on his staff claimed she had been groped by the ageing former Dutch prime minister, who has been the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) in Geneva since 2001.

However, red-faced UN officials admitted on Thursday that an investigation by the watchdog Office of Internal Oversight Services (OIOS) had backed the unnamed woman's allegations in a report to Annan.
...
In an ironic twist, the news about Lubbers broke as the UN Security Council was discussing a report from Annan that denounced the world's "collective failure" to prevent violence against women.

More details and more hijinks by following the link. Now I understand all the rumors about Bill Clinton wanting to be Secretary General!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:24 AM -

 
Biscuits and gravy

Jonah Goldberg:

But my favorite response was when he was asked if we'd have gone to war with Iraq if he'd been president, and he shot back confidently, "You bet we might have."

Appearing on "Hairball", Evan Thomas, Ass. Editor, Newsweek:

THOMAS: Well, we know from a lot of the polls that at least half the country doesn‘t believe a thing that we say.

George Neumayr:

About the reaction to Rather's use of forged documents, Brokaw said, "I think there were people just lying in the Internet bushes, waiting to strike, and I think that particular episode gave them a big opportunity." This is a very childish line of reasoning, akin to a juvenile delinquent complaining about the existence of cops.

A big surprise:

France will be always on the side of the Palestinian Authority leader Yasser Arafat, French Foreign Minister Michel Barnier declared Thursday.

Michael Moore was on BBC TV last night. What a smug fat git...: (BBC "story" with video is here)

"Question Time" is a BBC political panel based discussion show. Generally it's has a left wing biased, conservative bashing forum (what else? it's the BBC) and the audience (participating) always seems to be made up of shifty lefty angry militant types. You get the picture? Good.

Last night, the program relocated to Miami and had a largely American panel and audience. Michael Moore was a panelist.

Thankfully, we don't see much of Moore on UK TV. What an obnoxious, pumped up, smug fat illegitimate he is. I watched some of this show and he came across as a juvenile, self satisfied, loud mouthed jerk.
...
Comment: I paid to see Michael Moore last night, in "Team America: World Police." He blew up real good!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:50 AM -

 
Breaking hard!

New ABC Terror Tape Shocker: Masked Man Is Anchor Jennings

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:07 PM -

 
What better reason to vote for President Bush could you ask for?

George Soros at the National Press Club:

Asked what he will do if George W. Bush wins another term, Soros lamented, “I shall go into some kind of monastery."

Now, that I'd like to see! Actually, Number 1 is more likely to buy the monastery.

But the comedy doesn't stop there:

Competing for attention at the National Press Club was a contingent from the National Legal and Policy Center that has been shadowing Soros during his recent appearances in the swing states of Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida.

At a separate press conference, the Center announced the formation of their “Soros Truth Squad,” touting the fact that just hours before, it had filed suit with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) complaining of the activities of two nonprofit organizations that hosted Soros’ current round of anti-Bush speeches.

Also the subject of formal complaint by the Center: Soros himself. The Center alleges that Soros has failed to report “significant travel, public relations and other costs associated with his speaking tour.”
...
Meanwhile at the luncheon, NewsMax was on hand to ask Soros about the just filed complaint. With no small amount of irony, Soros replied, “It’s a shady group supported by a shady billionaire...”

That Blofeld! He's sure a card! More billionaire bloviations by following the link.

UPDATE: On another religious note, Rodger shows us what happens when George Soros gets to Hell.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:15 PM -

 
There's plenty of time for more!

The Ten Worst Media Distortions of Campaign 2004. With video.

Update: While hardly one of the top 10, Spoons alerts us to a classic.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:20 PM -

 
Today's Hoot!

You do have a choice.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 4:32 PM -

 
I love contests!

But this one is kind of tough.



No peeking at the answer.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:55 PM -

 
Calling all SPECTRE members!



I liked the George Soros quote in the previous post so much, that I thought I'd create a "suitable for framing" version for all SPECTRE members.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:09 AM -

 
Biscuits and gravy

Ann Coulter:

White liberals have been indulging their fantasies of violence against conservatives lately – physically attacking conservatives, ransacking Bush-Cheney headquarters (though not any NRA headquarters, I note). The white wife of vice presidential candidate John Edwards recently warned of riots unless Kerry is elected.

In the midst of this rash of violence by white liberals, this week Al Gore admonished a group of blacks not to engage in violence over the election. Perhaps Gore should have saved that speech for a convocation of Moveon.org members.

Protein Wisdom:

Andrew Sullivan is single-handedly responsible for my coining a shiny new catch phrase: “Who the f*ck cares what Andrew Sullivan thinks?"

SondraK:

let him eat party cakes

a whole tray of the big lardy ones....

The Primary Main Objective:

New South Park Tonight

The plot is "Vote or Die".

The children have to vote for a new class mascot, neither of which is very appealing. Since my mom reads this I'll put the choices after the jump.

Rachel Ehrenfeld and Shawn Macomber:

“If truth be known, I carried some rather potent messianic fantasies with me from childhood, which I felt I had to control, otherwise they might get me in trouble,” Soros once wrote. When asked to elaborate on that passage by The Independent, Soros said, “It is a sort of disease when you consider yourself some kind of God, the creator of everything, but I feel comfortable about it now since I began to live it out.”

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:37 AM -

 
Bubba's near death experience!



I had death visions during op, Bill says:

An unconscious Bill Clinton was tormented during heart surgery by chilling images of death until they were swept away by the faces of his wife and daughter, bathed in pools of light.

"I saw, like, dark masks crushing, like death masks being crushed, in series," the former President told Diane Sawyer in an interview airing tonight on ABC News' "PrimeTime Live."

"Then I'd see these great circles of light. And then, like, Hillary's picture or Chelsea's face would appear on the light, and then they'd fly off into the dark, into the distance."

You don't think he spiffed it up a bit for public consumption, do you?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:16 AM -

 
I'm grumpy!

But not too grumpy. It'll be an interesting litmus test to see who gets a big sad on if the greasy thug actually kicks the bucket.

Update: Michelle Malkin has more.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:00 PM -

 
Today's Hoot!

There's lots of photo fun about Lurch's serial "exaggerations" in CAMPAIGN RESPONDS TO DOUBTS: KERRY "IS THE REAL DEAL":

In response to lingering charges that their candidate has made numerous false personal claims, inside sources in the Kerry Campaign said he "is the real deal" and will soon present "photographic proof of his every word." They said Kerry is tired of the continuing questioning of his honesty and has ordered the release of photographs from his personal family album that will "backup his words and silence his critics once and for all."

It's hard to pick one to show but given recent news, I'm kind of partial to him meeting with foreign leaders:



Hmm, I guess the laugh's on us.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:00 PM -

 
"Sorry, Guys - You are Willing Accomplices"

Balloon Juice:

Why would you want to get in touch with the Kerry campaign? Because I had planned to vote for you in the general election, but because of Kerry's behavior the past two days, I decided to tell all Democrats to go to hell. When I heard Kerry saying 'soldiers are being fired upon by the weapons left unguarded,' trying to pimp a bullsh*t story for political advantage, I almost had a minor stroke.

How do you fire these explosives? Do they have a trigger? How do you aim them? LYING SACK OF SH*T.

It was at that point, I couldn't take it anymore. I went downtown to the Senior Center and voted early. I have to get on with my life.

At any rate, I normally vote 40-50% Republican, 25% libertarian, 25% Democratic. Not this year. Every Democrat is guilty as far as I am concerened. You chose this man, you live with him. I refuse to reward the behavior I have seen over the past four years.
...
Guilt by association works for me.

Around here we still have Democrats that would give Lurch and Teresa coronaries, but much as I like 'em, that's what I tell 'em too.

As for the Lurchster:

He's the sort of REMF who'd be criticizing the troops for throwing candy wrappers in the desert if he thought it would be good for a minute on the evening snooze.

(Hat tip for the fetching photo: smith288)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:21 PM -

 
More Nurturing from Wide Load Liz Edwards!

"For too long, Republican-fueled hate has kept gays fearful and in the closet, often with tragic consequences," she explained. "For example, even today gay men are frequently locked in loveless marriages of convenience, for no other reason than to provide a flimsy facade to society."

"This is a tragedy for everyone, particularly the unsuspecting wife," said Edwards. "She is that plain small town girl who meets the handsome -- yet oddly fussy -- prelaw student at the fraternity smoker, her undeveloped 'gay-dar' too weak to recognize his obsessive hair primping and unusual effeminate chattiness.
...
He wins a high political office, and cruises the bars of Georgetown while she stays home alone with the children, drowning her pain in quart after quart of Hagen Daaz, wondering what happened to her life as she balloons past 215 pounds."

Ruh Oh!

Actually it's Iowahawk, but he has the smarminess just right. And while you're there, check out More October Surprises Found.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:06 AM -

 
Mohamed ElBaradei, the Prince of Al KaKa



He's from the UN, he's just here to help! Himself.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:55 PM -

 
Trouble on the trail!



(Hat tip for the last one: TruBluKentuckian)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 3:10 PM -

 
It's a start

OHIO: BLACKWELL STIFF-ARMS FOREIGN OBSERVERS:

The Cincinnati Enquirer reports that a group of foreign election observers said Monday they've been given the stiff-arm by Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell. They are miffed, but Blackwell's spokesman said that it is the law that only a few groups are allowed inside polling places, including poll workers, voters, vote challengers, witnesses and police. Anyone else must stay at least 100 feet away from the entrance.

It should obviously be amended so that "foreign observers" must stay 3000 miles from the entrance.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 2:13 PM -

 
Traitor John



Art Moore at WorldNetDaily and Thomas Lipscomb at The NY Sun have the details. It's not like this is a surprise, is it? The only surprise is that the Democrat party is so bereft of decency, but we've all gotten used to that.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:31 PM -

 
Who knew journalism was a brown collar job?

Drudge and Capt. Ed (several posts) have the details. Lorie Byrd had a contest to name this latest media scandal, but I prefer one she didn't choose - BoomBoomGate.

Update: NZ Bear has a rollup - NYT's October Surprise Collapses.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:46 AM -

 
The poseur has a new pal!



Good ole Bubba. He's still the same!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 4:11 PM -

 
Liz Edwards says: Thugs R Us!



I guess that's what happens when you spend your spare time at the Democratic Underbelly, eh Liz?

I'm seriously reconsidering my support for Empress Teresa. I mean, admittedly she's a flighty rich wingnut, but Liz has that weighty "olgalisque" look so important to success in Politburo circles. She'll also fit right in with the Soros crowd since she brings back fond memories of Irma Bunt:



What's not to like?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:00 PM -

 
"Is John Kerry a sociopath?"

That's what Roger Simon asks in Christmas in Cambodia All Over Again. Well, if he isn't, he sure has a vivid imagination.



(I owe someone a credit for the photo.)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:17 AM -

 
Base Appeal Alert!



An unphotoshopped selection of Lurch goodness. From left to right:

1. Reminds me of the old joke - "Your mama is so tough that she doesn't take the Marlboro out of her mouth as she tells the State Trooper to kiss her ass."

2. I've never seen Lurch look so spiffy and animated!

3. Ah yes:

Bobby Dupree, 26, a resident of Milwaukee, along with other Kerry supporters, shout at a group of Bush supporters across the street after Dupree and others emerged from a Rev. Al Sharpton speech in downtown Milwaukee Saturday Oct. 23, 2004

Al must be slowing down - in the old days he used to start riots.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:01 AM -

 
Down at the outhouse things were piling up!

And at a furious rate, since John Kerry seems to be completely full of crap. Michelle Malkin does the honors:

This weekend the story was Kerry's lies about what he did as an anti-war activist following the Vietnam war.

Last night it was Kerry's lie about meeting all the members of the U.N. Security Council.

This morning I mentioned Kerry's alarmist claim that 95 percent of cargo coming into the U.S. is uninspected.

Now Robert Novak brings us another Kerryism to add to the list: Kerry's suggestion that his anti-war position is supported by Sen. Richard Lugar, the conservative Republican Senator from Indiana ("Kerry's Republican friend")...

More by following the link. Er, maybe it's time for another sports photo-op, Lurch!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:30 AM -

 
Lurch gets in on the illegal action too!



Nedra Pickler for the AP:

Kerry gave a more partisan speech earlier Sunday at the nearby Mount Hermon African Methodist Episcopal Church where he painted the election as a choice between a man of the people or one of the powerful.

Empress Teresa was in the audience to remind the folks which candidate fits which description.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:01 PM -

 
Remember Ted! No tail while on the trail!

Today, Teddy Kennedy took his campaign for Lurch to Sunday services at the Mount Airy Church of God in Christ in Philadelphia:



Good question, ladies:

Airy Church of God in Christ (sic) congregation members Daron Patterson, 91, right, and Verlinzia Maiden holding their Jon Kerry fans listen to Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., speaks from the pulpit during morning church service at Mount (sic) in Philadelphia Sunday, Oct. 24, 2004. Kennedy stumping for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., urged the congregation to vote for Kerry.

Of course, that completely violates the church's tax exempt status, but Donks don't seem to worry about that much. Particularly with black churches where an IRS investigation can always be answered with cries of racism. Of course, sometimes there is a dubious fiction that the event is apolitical. Cut to the local Rev:

"I can't tell you who to vote for," E.C. Morris Sr. told his congregation after Kennedy finished speaking Sunday. "But I can tell you what my mamma told me last week: Stay out the Bushes."

I hope ole E.C. wasn't the brightest kid in the family.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:59 PM -

 
How low can the Guardian go?



Dang! Tim Blair got there first.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:06 PM -