It must be some form of discrimination
Librarians Protest New Action Figure:

A new action figure of a frumpy-looking librarian who moves her index finger to her lips with "amazing push-button shushing action!" is prompting librarians around the world to raise their voices in protest.

"The shushing thing just put me right over the edge," said Diane DuBois, library director of Caribou Public Library in Caribou, Maine. "We're so not like that anymore. It's so stereotypical I could scream."

Hmm, things seemed to have changed in libraries since I was a tyke. Including librarians that now talk like Valley Girls.

The 5-inch Librarian Action Figure, which shows a bespectacled woman in a cardigan, long plain skirt and sensible shoes, goes on sale in October for $8.95.

Why do I think they will sell one for every librarian in the country?

Today's Hoot
From St. Ann:

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor recently upheld a 25-year failed experiment in race discrimination for college admissions. She breezily announced a pull-out date of 2028. Liberals admired O'Connor's Solomon-like resolution of a festering national problem and did not concern themselves with the absence of an "exit strategy."

But George Bush – with the widespread support of the American people and the U.S. Congress – acts to take out a lunatic supporting Islamic terrorism, and within six months, all the Democratic presidential candidates are clamoring for an "exit strategy." Bush should promise the Democrats that there will be peace and democracy in Iraq long before the Democrats conceive of an exit strategy to the war on poverty, the war on high rents, and the war on white kids applying to Michigan Law School.

Well, I'll be gobsmacked!
(Via Right-Thinking) If no one has ever pointed you to the Social Security Administration's online database of first names of Social Security card holders by year of birth, hop on over and check it out. I am always amazed at the trends in names. If I just look at the table below of the top 10 names for 2002 babies, I don't really find too many that would have been common among the kids I went to school with back before fire was invented. And what's with modern women's names? Hannah?

Top 10 Names for Babies Born in 2002

Rank	Male name	Female name
1	Jacob	Emily
2	Michael	Madison
3	Joshua	Hannah
4	Matthew	Emma
5	Ethan	Alexis
6	Joseph	Ashley
7	Andrew	Abigail
8	Christopher	Sarah
9	Daniel	Samantha
10	Nicholas	Olivia

The SSA web site has lots of data going back to the late 1800's and a variety of ways to search it. Dig in - it's lots of good clean fun.

One other fun seeker is Matt at The Buck Stops Here who did a little digging on the name Hillary:

According to data published by the Social Security Administration, the name Hillary is the most severely poisoned baby name in history. Hillary had been steadily climbing the baby name charts since the 1960s, when it first graced the Top 1000, becoming the 136th most common name for baby girls in 1992. But the name sharply reversed course in 1993, smashing several longstanding records for name contamination in its plunge from the Top 1000 girl names last year.

The title for the most rapid case of name contamination had been held by Ebenezer and then Adolph, names that were shunned by parents after they became associated with Dickens's miserly banker and the Nazi dictator Hitler. But while Ebenezer and Adolph each took over 30 years to fall from the Top 1000 after they were negatively associated with their prominent name sakes, Hillary dropped off the charts in just 10 years, upsetting the prior records in less than 30% of the time. Besides this achievement, Hillary also set records for largest drop in a single year (295 places in 1994), two years (420 places in 1993-1994) and ten years (>864 from 1993 to 2002). These titles taken together constitute the grand slam of name poisoning.

Follow the link for all the details, but here's the closer:

It is beyond the scope of this study to speculate as to the factors that propelled Hillary to this astonishing feat. It is hoped that sociologists will research this unprecedented case of name poisoning.

I didn't know mountain climbers were in such disrepute?

Reuters holds a roachfest
Reuters' Paris pantload, Mark John, says French suppress schadenfreude over U.S. Iraq woes:

PARIS, Sept. 5 — What is French for ''I told you so?''

With the United States swallowing its pride to seek help sorting out the postwar debacle in Iraq, France and fellow ''Old Europe'' opponents of the conflict can barely resist gloating.

''So the 'Frenchies' were cowardly, ungrateful, naive, petty and self-seeking, were they?'' asked veteran French commentator Regis Debray on Friday.

''If you like. But at least they judged it right,'' he wrote in the daily Le Figaro, catching the mood of grim satisfaction among many in a country where up to 90 percent firmly supported President Jacques Chirac's stance against the war.

For those of you of the youngish persuasion, Regis Debray's main claim to fame is that when he was leading the proletarian revolution in Colombia with Che Guevara, he got arrested and sent to prison, while beret boy got topped. When an article refers to a hemorrhoid like Debray as a "commentator," you know you're in for for a long haul with a port side list.

Chirac bet that even if the United States could win the war, it would need others to win the peace. Washington's call to the United Nations to help end the guerrilla violence plaguing Iraq suggests he was right.

This makes sense. If you're from outer space. The UN's track record of ending guerilla warfare is nonexistent.

Not one peep of schadenfreude (German for taking pleasure in people's woes) will be heard in public from Chirac's administration. It has insisted all along that it is in no one's interest for Iraq to descend into anarchy and become a base for terrorists.

Mark John enlightens the unwashed! Thanks pal and you can leck mich am Arsch.

But with memories of anti-French insults like ''cheese-eating surrender monkeys'' flying across the Atlantic a few months back, France is in no mood to send its soldiers into the fray without having a strong say in Iraq's future.

Circle the wagons, folks. The Frenchies will be here shortly to rescue us! The August heat wave must have got to Mark. But I'll pretend. What do the the cheese eating surrender monkeys want?

France has already set out its demands, calling for a fast transfer of power to a provisional Iraqi government and for security to be handed to an international U.N.-mandated force.

It will also want to ensure that any spoils from the reconstruction of the Iraqi economy and its lucrative oil sector are fairly shared out.

It's all about oil!

Someone explain to me again why Powell is screwing around with the UN? It won't be cheaper - we'll still pay for it. It won't be more effective - we're talking the UN and the Euros here. The only reason I can think of is to disarm leftoid domestic critics. As I said the other day, "Dear W, appealing to the asshats isn't a valid reason. They're going to hate you anyhow."

Maybe Federico's just an assist?
(Via The Corner) Joseph Perkins in the San Diego Union-Tribune - Far too generous on immigration:

Federico de Jesus owes Victor David Hanson an apology. De Jesus, a staffer for House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, falsely accused Hanson, the distinguished author of the just-published book "Mexifornia," of racism and xenophobia at a recent Capitol Hill briefing.

During his introduction, Hanson, a scholar of ancient Rome and Greece, was aptly described as "a classicist." De Jesus somehow interpreted that to mean that the author had a white "classist" bias against immigrants.

Pelosi's aide, who somehow earned a diploma without being able to make a distinction between a classicist and a classist, got ugly with Hanson and stormed out of the briefing in protest.

His hysterics reveal what kind of not-so-beautiful minds the House's top Democrat has shaping her views on issues.

More from Jerry Kammer at Copley News Service:

Frederico de Jesus, a native of Puerto Rico who handles Hispanic press for Pelosi, apparently thought Hansen had acknowledged a "classist" bias against immigrants, according to congressional staffers and Greg Krikorian, who sponsored the briefing as director of the Center for Immigration Studies.
...
Jennifer Crider, a spokeswoman for Rep. Pelosi, D-San Francisco, said, "A staffer thought a racially insensitive remark was made. He objected and left the briefing." Crider said de Jesus "spoke for himself," not for Pelosi.

"It was a tirade, and it was an embarrassing show of ignorance," said Krikorian, whose center favors tighter limits on immigration.

Hansen, a Hoover Institution scholar and military historian whose conservative views about the issues underlying Sept. 11 have caught the eye of Washington officials, said the behavior of Pelosi's aide shows how difficult it is to have a dispassionate discussion about immigration.

I think these folks are being charitable. Who uses the word "classist" except the inhabitants of the fever swamps of the left? Hmmm, here's one of Federico's earlier credits:

Right after the speech, in an interview with Layla Wright, producer of Hispanic Radio Network - www.hrn.org - de Jesus said: "The importance of this struggle is that when countries united in solidarity they are defending the rights and the dignity of all nations. The best way to fight against war is to do it as Martin Luther King, Ghandi and the people of Vieques have done: with Peace!"

The march was organized by A.N.S.W.E.R., the Rev. Jesse Jackson, and other organizations.

All the usual suspects. Perkins says:

His hysterics reveal what kind of not-so-beautiful minds the House's top Democrat has shaping her views on issues.

I'd say that San Francisco Nancy got caught with her flying monkeys showing.

In the LA Times no less!
(Via FR) Roy Rivenberg presents Once again our jokes are on Cruz:

The Cruzinator is so ungrateful. Just because we aren't a rich Indian tribe lining his pockets with million-dollar checks doesn't mean we have nothing to offer.

On Wednesday, for example, we published the runner-up entries from our Cruz "Dances With Slot Machines" Bustamante Joke Contest. We had sponsored the competition because late-night comics have been mocking every gubernatorial candidate except the lieutenant governor, and we wanted to give his candidacy the legitimacy that comes with being a national punch line.

But did he thank us? Incredibly, no.

Today, we publish the contest champions. That's because we're givers. It's our nature to help.

First prize:

Memo to Cruz Bustamante: Alfred Hitchcock called. He wants his silhouette back.

More by following the link including "Wreck of the Cruz Bustamante," sung to the tune of Gordon Lightfoot's "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Full lyrics are here.

Today's Hoot!
Over at Give War a Chance, Emily waxes lyrical:

I beg your pardon, but if you actually need someone to WARN YOU not to STICK A FIRECRACKER IN YOUR ASS, then you are one frighteningly DANGEROUS INDIVIDUAL and frankly, it's better a better place without you in it.

And the title of the original article was "Firecracker stunt backfires on man."

I'm Chelsea, I'm here to help!
Today's Rush & Molloy gossip column in the NY Daily News amuses (unintentionally) with a tidbit on Chelsea Clinton:

Though it's said she'lll be earning a salary of $120,000, Chelsea is "going to be living in Manhattan with a good friend of hers," Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton told reporters on Tuesday.

"She is starting work this week at McKinsey [& Co.], which is a consulting firm here in the city," said the senator, adding, "I don't know what consultants do. I asked her that and she goes, 'Oh, mom!'"

Can you imagine any possible question on which you would pay for Chelsea's advice?

How come no one told me it was "Inmates Running the Asylum Day"?
U.S. offers to report to U.N. on Iraq:

Secretary of State Colin L. Powell yesterday started a major diplomatic effort to internationalize peacekeeping of Iraq, circulating a resolution that would have the U.S. military reporting to the United Nations.

Since the UN couldn't organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a suitcase of hundred dollar bills, why bother?

Yesterday, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said he was "very pleased" that President Bush authorized Mr. Powell to seek the U.N. resolution during a White House meeting Tuesday.

Dear W, appealing to the asshats isn't a valid reason. They're going to hate you anyhow.

More inmate and asylum news
Jerry Kilgore is the Virginia Attorney General and Lawsuit bucks Kilgore opinion:

Attorneys representing immigrants will file a lawsuit today against a number of public colleges and universities in Virginia, challenging state Attorney General Jerry W. Kilgore's opinion that schools should deny admission to those who are here illegally.

Ah, this is promising! Sued for denying state college admission to illegal aliens.

The attorneys, one of whom is with the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund (MALDEF), argued in court documents that denying admission to students who are not U.S. citizens is unconstitutional.

Dang, I must have been snoozing in class the day they covered the part of the Constitution that provided US taxpayer subsidized college educations to everyone in the world.

"Illegal or undocumented aliens should not be enrolled in Virginia public institutions of higher education," Mr. Kilgore, a Republican, wrote in the Sept. 5 memo, which was distributed to the presidents and chancellors of Virginia's 37 state colleges and universities.

The memo also stated that illegal immigrants, if admitted despite his position, should be denied in-state tuition benefits since they are not legal Virginia residents.
...
Mr. Kilgore's memo further stated that public employees who become aware of illegal immigrants on college campuses should notify the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services, formerly the Immigration and Naturalization Service, as well Mr. Kilgore's office.

And exactly what is the problem with that? The plantiffs' legal eagle responds:

" 'Undocumented' connotes a number of things," said Ms. Tallman in a telephone interview from her office in Atlanta. "This opinion is actually preventing a wide range of otherwise qualified students from attending schools. If you are not a U.S. citizen or a lawful permanent resident, that appears to be the line where many [schools] are making the cut-off."

Sounds like the right line to me, Ms. T. All that's left is illegal aliens.

But here's Ms. T's legal hook:

"The authority of Congress to regulate immigration may preclude [Mr. Kilgore] and state educators from reporting undocumented students, as well as denying them admission to their schools," Ms. Tallman wrote. "The power to regulate immigration is a power that is exclusively held by the federal government."

And a swell job it's doing too. But how does that preclude states from declining to subsidize illegal aliens? As for dropping a dime on the illegals, I would have thought that was their duty. Speaking of which, why isn't Ms. T guilty of aiding and abetting criminals, or better yet, a criminal conspiracy?

The inmates are too busy shopping to run the place
Over at Gweilo Diaries, Conrad has a few choice words:

An imprisoned muderer and pedophile escaped while on a day release from a minimum security facility near Melbourne.

'Murderer', 'pedophile', 'minimum security' and 'day release' are terms one would normally not wish to find in the same sentence.

[The escapee], Trevor Bransgrove, had lunch at a table next to a fireplace at La Porchetta pizza restaurant with his minder, who paid the bill.

The pair then went shopping in Bridge Mall.

You've gotta be shitting me!

The prisoner -- though 'prisoner' hardly seems the appropriate word here -- slipped out the back door of a shop and made his escape.

[A]lmost an hour elapsed as the frantic guard searched the mall before reporting the escape to police.

Perfect.

Police warn that Bransgrove is dangerous and urge people not to approach him.

Which wouldn't be an issue had authorities not taken him to the friggin' Galleria.

More by following the link. I also wonder about the job description of the "minder." I guess it would be something like "Wanted: prison guard with mall shopping skills."

Our little pals
Instapundit: "These aren't people with legitimate grievances. This is the Klan with a Koran."

Bustamante campaign memo leak!

EYES ONLY

September 2, 2003

People, people, people!

The big guy has paid his dues to MEChA and we've tied up all the votes we're going to get out of that, so go easy. After all, if the illegals wanted to live in Mexico, they wouldn't have crossed the border! More to the point, the Aztec motif is inexplicable to most of the voters and like ancient history or something. We need to use a lighter touch to show that the big guy is swinging and with it and culturally diverse.

To that end, the brain trust at Campaign HQ have come up with a marvelous new campaign ad and a campaign song. Are you ready?

Ignore the man behind the curtain!
I'm doing some slight post rearrangement after Blogspot went casters up last night.

Those wacky Swedes!
(Via BuzzMachine) The Fart Conflict: Last fart at the Swedish national bank

There is no more farting amongst the staff in the Swedish national bank. " We do not have a specific fart ban, but we have ethical guidelines and naturally, farting is simply not done here", said Staffan Folke at the bank's work environment office.

Ethical guidelines? Hmm, how are ethics involved?

Yesterday computer technician Göran Andervass told Aftonbladet how he was exposed to a colleague's farting when working for the national bank.

The incident accelerated into a serious work conflict. Andervass was fired, took legal action and finally received NOK 850,000 compensation from the bank.

The fart was indeed the start of the conflict and Andervass wrote in a statement to the court: "Provoked by a disgusting fart - a right stinker - at 7.30 am in my office".
...
Folke points out that it is not acceptable for an officer of the Swedish national bank to run into a colleague's office to fart.

Just a fun loving guy, I'm sure. But now he's spoiled it for everyone else.

Krister Skoglund in the human resource department warns staff about farting too obviously near others:

"If this happens on numerous occasions it will be perceived as a violation", he said.

Another good reason for a "Silent but Deadly."

Even if only one single fart is in question, the leadership will react, according to Skoglund:

"If it is done with bad intentions, that someone comes in to an office and does something like this, the boss needs to take action. That is important. Then a conversation with the person is needed, to explain to the member of staff that we do not do such things here", he said.

At this rate they'll need a rule for just about every stupid thing an employee could do. Hey, maybe they can get the EU working on this - they love regulations.

Today's Hoot
Kevin Canfield in the Hartford Courant - Newspapers Pull `Doonesbury':

An upcoming "Doonesbury" comic will deal with masturbation, and across the country newspaper editors are grappling with how to handle it (pun intended).

Actually, reading the whole article, it's seems that Gary Trudeau noticed the study on masturbation and prostate cancer from a few weeks ago and thought he'd bring some more of his madcap humor to the funny pages. Zzzzzzz.

Bulging Crapsack Alert!
Over at Spinsanity, you'll find Moore alters "Bowling" DVD in response to criticism. Oh yeah, the porcine one says "Every fact in the film is true. Absolutely every fact in the film is true. And anybody who says otherwise is committing an act of libel." Sure, Mikey. When monkeys fly out of your butt.

Puhleeze!
Deborah Orin in the NY Post - Dems Start Race to Derail Dean:

Labor Day is supposed to kick off the Democratic 2004 presidential race, but this year it marked the kickoff of the frantic race to catch up with anti-war front-runner Howard Dean.

Rival Sen. John Kerry (Mass.) today "officially" launches his own sagging campaign in hopes of jump-starting it - after a weekend of blasting Dean as a soft-on-defense tax-hiker who can't beat President Bush.

"We need to win," Kerry insisted yesterday, adding that the only way to win is with someone who can convince Americans he's strong on terrorism.

John Kerry complaining that someone is soft on defense and terrorism? I guess it's all relative.

Bad blood alert!
John Fund opines on Hillary - The Anti-Dean:

While Hillary Clinton swears she isn't running for president, she certainly isn't happy about Howard Dean becoming the Democratic frontrunner. The Clintons--along with Terry McAuliffe, their hand-picked chairman of the Democratic National Committee--could become some of the biggest behind-the-scenes obstacles to Mr. Dean's insurgent candidacy.

He suggests that the "Hillary is running in 2004" rumor of last week came from Democrat anti-Hillary types and that

Similarly, it's clear that many of allies and supporters of Bill and Hillary Clinton don't want Howard Dean to be the party's 2004 standard bearer. Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana, chairman of the Democratic Leadership Council, dismissed Mr. Dean's fiery speeches against the Bush White House by asking, "Do we want to vent or to govern?" Al From, the founder of the moderate DLC, was instrumental in promoting Mr. Clinton as a candidate back in 1992. He now says that Mr. Dean belongs to the party's "McGovern-Mondale wing" and that he would repeat their failed candidacies by being swamped in the popular vote. The Clintons may not be keen on a Democrat winning the White House in 2004, but a Bush blowout might weaken the Democratic Party for 2008 when Mrs. Clinton is expected to run.

And apparently Howie is sharpening a knife for Terry McAuliffe:

But Clinton supporters have other reasons to be leery of a Dean candidacy. In June, the Drudge Report noted that Mr. Dean had confided to associates that he intended to change the leadership of the Democratic National Committee if he became the party's nominee. A Dean adviser told Drudge that "it is important . . .to mark a new beginning, cut ties from the past." Mr. Dean feels that Mr. McAuliffe, who served as Mr. Clinton's finance chairman in the 1996 election, has not performed well under pressure and was the architect of last year's disastrous off-year election results in which the Democrats became the first party out of power to lose seats in a mid-term election in over 60 years. Mr. McAuliffe is so controversial among Democratic activists that recently he has not been signing the patry's fund-raising mail. A no-name deputy now signs the direct mail appeals for funds. Mr. McAuliffe still has the confidence of Bill and Hillary Clinton, but his circle of admirers beyond that is limited.

Hey, what's not to love about Terry? How many other people do you know who got rich while pursuing a career as a political fundraiser?

By their friends, ye shall know them
Fidel is having a hoedown (sponsored by the UN, natch) and all his pals have shown up - Castro Closes Ranks With Friendly Leaders:

Alienated from European nations after a crackdown on the opposition and the execution of three ferry boat hijackers, President Fidel Castro closed ranks Monday with friendly African, Caribbean and South American heads of state at a U.N. conference.
...
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez — who faces his own headaches at home, where last week he announced new plans by opponents to topple him — joined Castro and in a fiery speech criticized leaders of powerful industrialized nations for promising grand solutions yet doing nothing to solve developing nations' grave environmental and financial problems.

What they have done is absolutely insignificant given the gravity of the problem," Chavez said, blaming globalization and failed neoliberal economic policies. "Neoliberalism has been defeated," Chavez proclaimed to audience applause. "Now we're going to bury it, starting this century."

Hmmm - the nominal purpose of the conference, beyond padding expense accounts, was "desertification." Apparently it is a critical problem in the jungles of Cuba and Venezuela. And in Zimbabwe too, I guess:

"Coming to Cuba is to come to a country where there are true friends of Africa," Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe said.
...
Many of the Africa presidents in attendance hail from countries whose independence struggles were aided by Cuba in the 1980s and 1990s.

If the American taxpayer didn't fund these UN sponsored reunions, how would old pals get together? I can't help but think, though, that a few JDAM's on the conference hall would add an appropriately festive air. And cut down on global warming too.

Asked and Answered
Michelle Malkin asks Home loans for illegal aliens?! And the answer is "Fer sure!" But Cracker, you ask, "How can that be? The last time I applied for a home loan, the lender checked me out down to the pattern on my Bill Clinton boxers!" Well, it doesn't hurt that the loans are the government (i.e. taxpayer) guaranteed kind:

The Post failed to note that Federal Housing Administration-approved loans through the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development do not require lenders to obtain proof of citizenship or legal permanent residence. These FHA/HUD programs, primarily targeting minorities and first-time homebuyers, are federally insured and require minimal down payments.

A 25-year veteran of the mortgage industry in California confided to me recently: "It boggles the mind to think how many illegal aliens are homeowners in this country thanks to these programs, all fully insured by our government. Because of fear of lawsuits for discrimination I can also tell you that a lender may have a borrower who speaks little or no English who claims to be either a citizen or resident alien and it will not be questioned nor any proof required. Since FHA does not require any such documentation, a lender cannot cite their regulations as a basis for the request as they can on conventional loans."

But wait there's more:

Another easy avenue to home ownership is through the use of bogus Social Security cards. Moneylenders have no access to a verification system to check Social Security numbers before approving loans. A Department of Homeland Security investigator informs me that an ongoing federal probe of FHA/HUD-backed loans found that "a staggering number were approved to persons with false Social Security numbers." The Denver metro area alone accounted for 20,000 to 40,000 of the FHA-approved loans for suspected illegal aliens. "Even if a small percentage of the loans were foreclosed, HUD could be bankrupted," the homeland security official said.

The US taxpayers are certainly a generous bunch.

Going easy on our little pals
Robert Novak at Townhall.com - 'Losing bin Laden':

On Oct. 12, 2000, the day of the devastating terrorist attack on the USS Cole, President Clinton's highest-level national security team met to determine what to do. Counter-terrorism chief Richard Clarke wanted to hit Afghanistan, aiming at Osama bin Laden's complex and the terrorist leader himself. But Clarke was all alone. There was no support for a retaliatory strike that, if successful, might have prevented the 9/11 carnage.

This startling story is told for the first time in a book by Brussels-based investigative reporter Richard Miniter to be published this week. "Losing bin Laden" relates that Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, Secretary of Defense William Cohen, Atty. Gen. Janet Reno and CIA Director George Tenet all said no to the attack. I have contacted enough people attending the meeting to confirm what Miniter reports. Indeed, his account is based on direct, on-the-record quotes from participants.

Miniter, who was part of the Sunday Times of London investigation of Clinton vs. bin Laden, has written a bitter indictment of the American president (its subtitle: "How Bill Clinton's Failures Unleashed Global Terror"). But by the time of the Cole disaster with only weeks left in his presidency, Clinton had focused on the terrorist threat. The problem of the Oct. 12 meeting was the caution common to all councils of war. Arguments by participants sound valid, but collectively they built a future catastrophe.

Much more by following the link.

Today's Hoot
Dave Barry:

There's just over a year to go before the 2004 presidential election, and everybody in the nation is extremely excited. Except of course the public...

So what does the public care about right now? Telemarketers. The public hates them. It hates them even more than it hates France, low-flow toilets or ''customer service.''

We know this because recently the Federal Trade Commission, implementing the most popular federal concept since the Elvis stamp, created the National Do Not Call Registry.
...
And how has the telemarketing industry responded to this tidal wave of public hostility? It has issued this statement: ''Gosh, if these people really don't want us to call them, then there's no point in our calling them! We'd only be making them hate us more, and that's just plain stupid! We'll try to come up with a less offensive way to do business.''

No, wait, that's what the telemarketers would say in Bizarro World, where everything is backward, and Superman is bad, and telemarketers contain human DNA.

And lately, a large number of the telemarketing calls we get around here obviously come from India. Things must really be bad there if it is a desireable job to get up in the middle of the night to try to sell crap over the telephone to grumpy people like me.

Dave is also bumping Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19. While this isn't the biggest knee slapper I ever heard, there is some inherent amusement:

Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it?

On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!

But did they really need a disclaimer on the same page that pirates "were bad people?"

UPDATE: Prof. Bunyip points out a downside for TLAP Day, according to taste.

Photographs from the front lines
Proceed immediately to Tim Blair's place where he links and has a write-up of the photo album of Cpl. Brian Taylor and other Marines of Fox Company, 2nd BN, 23rd Marines, during the Iraq War.

Doctor Frank does the Old Country
That's not Hi-Cool, That's Genocide:

On the general theory that it is as well to know which tunes the devil is playing, I usually pick up a copy of the New Statesman each time I visit England. (I used to read it more often on line, but since they instituted a pay-per-view system for all on line content, I've always ended up deciding that there are better ways to spend my allowance. For the price of a single NS article, you can get half a pint of lager in London, for instance: a much better deal, if you ask me.)
...
I did quite enjoy, however, the piece by Dan Rosenheck on the politics of air conditioning. Or rather, I suppose I should say, "the American cultural construct of air conditioning."
...
The article itself, however, for me, is a mere framing device for a couple choice quotes from what appear to be an entire anti-air conditioning book by one Marsha Ackerman. (Cool Comfort: America's Romance with Air Conditioning.) "[Americans] don't think about when they need to use air conditioning and when they don't," she says. "They don't think about other values in their lives." Guilty as charged, I suppose. I'm all about the AC as anyone who knows me knows.

Me too, particularly here in Pirate Satellite Command Central (TM) where I have a horde of computers exhausting innumerable watts. Much more by following the link and also be sure to check out his post on ethnography:

Crime Wave!
Fan arrested for sleeping through match:

Prosecutors have been urged to drop their 'ludicrous' case against an English soccer fan who fell asleep as his home side lost a Premiership match.

Adrian Carr, 28, an engineering worker from Middlesbrough, in the north of England, had worked an early shift, then downed a few beers before dozing off during Sunday's match with Arsenal.

During the game, which Arsenal won 4-0, Carr fell asleep in the stands - only to be woken by stewards at the end of play, then arrested by police for being drunk in a sporting arena.

More details and a snap in the Evening Gazette:

The Gazette has been flooded with messages of support for the 28-year-old sleepyhead. One fan, sat just feet from Adrian, used his mobile phone to snap this amazing picture of a dozing Adrian soon after Arsenal netted their fourth goal.

"It was keeping us amused as there was nothing worth watching on the pitch!" he said.
...
Today Mr Carr admitted that Sunday's game was not the first time he had fallen asleep in public.

"When Boro won the First Division title in the 1994/95 season I feel asleep in the last game at Tranmere," he said.

"There was another time when I was coming back from the cricket at Headingley and I got the last bus home from Middlesbrough, I fell asleep and woke up in Dormanstown. I had to walk home.

"Another time I went for a job interview in Nottingham and on the way back I had to change trains in Sheffield, only I fell asleep and woke up in Manchester - so this sort of thing has happened a few times."

The guy's a serial snoozer!

Which reminds me of this beauty - Cyclist to stand trial for 'falling off bike':

An 11-year-old boy in Greece is to stand trial after falling off his bike during a race.

The boy on the eastern Aegean Sea island of Chios has been ordered to stand trial on October 13 for allegedly violating eight articles of the penal code and one traffic violation for falling off his bicycle during an annual race.

The boy - identified only by his first name as Manolis - was taking part in last year's Chios bicycle race when he suddenly fell off his bike. He was not injured in the accident, nor did he cause any injuries to other riders taking part in the race, according to reports.

The island's prosecutor said the boy fell because he was "not driving carefully and with constant rapt attention" and ordered him to appear in juvenile court.

Good thing they nipped this in the bud!