Call in the dumpster divers

Andy Newman at the NY Times, reporting for duty - Such Clean-Living, Early-to-Rise Delegates. Don't They Know There's a Minibar?

Behold the Republican delegations. They make such a nice impression as they parade around town, neatly coiffed and tailored. But what are they really like?

In search of the answer to this question, a highly unscientific survey was conducted yesterday at the service entrances of four of the delegates' hotels. The respondents - heavily weighted toward smokers, as they were more likely to venture into the muggy air on their breaks - were pretty much unanimous: so far, in their hotel rooms anyway, the ladies and gentlemen in red are leading very clean lives indeed in New York, in every sense of the word.

"They're drinking only water," said Daniel Kelly, the minibar attendant at the W on Lexington Avenue between 49th and 50th Streets, temporary home to the delegations from Arkansas and Maine. "I sold one beer so far" - an Amstel Lite at that, to a delegate from Arkansas. "It's not what I expected."

What did Mr. Kelly, who has been catering to the alcoholic tastes of conventioneers of all sorts for 13 years, expect? "Partying. It's a free ride, you're in New York. But everybody's out of their rooms already." It was a few minutes after noon. "No 'Do Not Disturb' signs."

A woman who works in the laundry at the W, who gave her name only as Mrs. Kelly, no relation, reported that the delegates' linens were "very, very clean." At the Park Central on West 56th Street, Martin Benjamin, a building engineer, said the delegates from Idaho, Kansas and Maryland were not putting any undue strain on the plumbing system.

Comes from plowing the lower forty twice before noon out in flyover country, I guess. Sheesh, what did they expect? Mountains of empty bottles, crack vials, and condom wrappers? Speaking of which, I wonder who got the duty for the Donk convention and what they found?