Monday, January 13, 2003

Today's Hoot!
Oregon Magazine entrances with the pure unadulterated goodness of Oregon Voters To Receive IQ Test:
Well, it happens this month, folks.

All through December you were treated to marching children demanding more funding for their schools. And, you’ve seen "educators" who explained that the number of school days must be cut, sports must be eliminated, school busses must be exchanged for half-ton pickups towing open trailers, indoor toilets will be replaced by outhouses in the now unusable football field, furnaces will be shut down, school lunches will be turnip soup and a thousand children will have to share each textbook.

And, that’s just for starters.

If you don’t vote higher taxes on yourself, there won’t be a policeman in the state, the roads will all shrink to one lane with potholes, bridges will collapse as you drive over them, streetlights will not be lit at night, the jails will be shut down and all the prisoners turned loose (the governor of California, Gray Davis, actually said that in public last week!), the elderly will have to eat dog food, the health care system will disappear, Portland will slide into the Willamette (not a bad idea), Martians will land in Eugene and eat people raw in the streets, Mt. Hood will erupt like Krakatoa, setting every building in Oregon afire, all of which will burn to the ground because there won’t be a single fire department that has enough gasoline to run a fire truck more than ten feet, and nobody to drive it anyway since they’ve all been laid off.

Yessir, it’s a statewide IQ test.
Because the funny thing is that the state actually has more money to work with over the next two years than it did over the prior two years.
The giant shortfall doesn't exist.

Except, of course, in the minds of those who wanted to spend a lot more instead of a little more.
Ah yes, a familiar refrain.