What's Wrong With This Picture?
Hmmm, things seemed to have changed a tad at college since I was a pup. The Boston Globe regales us with On campus, comforts are major:

They may be called the Spartans of Michigan State University, but students lucky enough to live in Shaw Hall can enjoy two therapeutic bubble-jet tubs as they watch television in one of the dorm's larger bathrooms.

''They aren't sitting around in the hot tub, having a party and watching Jenny Jones,''' said an exasperated Russ White, a university spokesman who contends he has spent too much of this summer trying to correct the impression that MSU students are overly indulged. ''But it is pretty amazing what you find on college campuses these days,'' he acknowledged.

Indeed, Spartan doesn't describe student life on most campuses. Once the tearful goodbyes are over and the family minivan has pulled away, there are enough sushi stations, big-screen televisions, personal trainers, cable channels in the dorm room, cybercafes, and videos available in the library to distract and entertain even those freshmen who came to college to study.

Administrators who have overseen several years of swanky-suite construction and cafeterias morphing into food courts admit there is an accelerating trend toward providing college creature comforts. It's fueled both by fierce competition among institutions to keep up enrollment and by sophisticated market research on what you need to keep an 18-year-old happy.

''This is definitely driven by a competitive marketplace. Campuses are trying to attract the best students, and amenities catch people's attention,'' said Kevin Kruger, associate executive director of the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators.

''The campus experience many older people remember is still there, but it's been slicked up a lot,'' Kruger added. ''It's not a hardship to go to college.''

Parents may understandably fear that all these amenities contribute to the high cost of college. But college administrators argue that by maintaining their enrollments and keeping students' disposable income on campus, it actually helps the bottom line.

A generation ago, campus tours for prospective students made a stop at the chemistry building, showed off the library stacks, and took an obligatory peek at the chapel. Now, guides from the admissions office make a beeline to the brand-new, multimillion-dollar fitness center featuring squash courts, a climbing wall, customized exercise machines, gargantuan pools, and spin classes to rival the most upscale, downtown health club.

Much more in a similar vein by following the link. I'd feel better about this if I thought that the education matched the amenities.

Carol Hacker, dean of student affairs at the Babson Park campus, said providing perks isn't just about recruitment and retention; it's aimed at revitalizing campus life and engaging students in activities and conversations. Some colleges are encouraging theme dorms; others are putting classrooms into residence halls to get students out of their rooms and away from their e-mail.

''It's not about pampering,'' Hacker said. ''It's about community-building.''

Unsnap your holsters, it's a Kumbaya alert!

But like the parent who can't say no, some colleges are finding that new amenities just encourage students to crave more. At Illinois Wesleyan University in Bloomington, administrators are balking at demands from students to provide premium cable channels for the wide-screen televisions they are hauling into dorm rooms.

''I don't understand how they can get any studying done with so many distractions,'' said James Matthews, IWU's dean of students. ''We learned Homer in 1970, and they learn Homer today. Are all these enhancements that draw students helping them learn it any better?''

Homer? I thought dead white guys were persona non grata. But I agree with the spirit of the question.