Feeding Time at the Zoo
With the possibility of cash in the offing (and a lot of partying in the meantime), all the usual grifters have started showing up in Johannesburg.

Bobby Mugabe took time off from shopping and declaimed "Let me keep my Zimbabwe," which of course is the basic problem - he thinks it's his personal property. All that he hasn't pawned already of course.

Then the Prime Minister of Tuvalu showed up with his favorite wheeze:

"We want the islands of Tuvalu, our nation, to exist permanently for ever and ever, and not to be submerged under water merely due to the selfishness and greed of the industrial world," Prime Minister Saufatu Sopoanga told the summit.

Of course, it's baloney, but we don't want to spoil Saufatu's little racket as Green poster boy.

Jacques Chirac was also there to aid and abet:

"Today in Johannesburg, humanity has a date with destiny," said French President Jacques Chirac. "Our house is burning down and we are blind to it," he added, suggesting a "solidarity levy on the wealth created by globalization" to help the poor.

An aide suggested taxes on air tickets or financial deals.

Don't call us Jacques, we'll call you.