I can't keep track of the nuances without a scorecard!

And it's apparent that Lurch can't either. It's been well known for years that in his salad days, Kerry helped organize a demonstration during which his VVAW troops threw miltary medals over a fence at the US Capitol. Ole Lurch heaved some medals too, but they turned out to belong to someone else, because his medals later showed up framed in his Senate office. I've mentioned it before as a perfect example of Mr. Waffles covering all his bases. He obviously chisled his antiwar droid pals to keep his future options open.

So what's the big deal now? Well Lurch says there's a "right wing" smear attempt going on. Dang! How come no one told me there was a party?

But I'm a little confused as to the exact nature of the "smear". CNSNews tries to explain things after viewing the Lurchster's performance on this morning's Good Morning America program - Kerry, Pressed, Says Medals/Ribbons Were the Same Thing:

Did John F. Kerry throw away his Vietnam War medals or didn't he? In a newly surfaced 1971 interview with a Washington, D.C., television station, the young Kerry said he threw away "six, seven, eight, nine" medals. He said nothing about ribbons -- mentioning only "medals" in that 1971 interview.

Tsk, talking trash again, eh Lurch?

But on Monday morning, Kerry vehemently denied throwing away his medals -- contradicting what he said in the 1971 interview.

Er, we knew that. I guess he's still nervous about the electorate getting the idea that he might be a leftoid freak. But wait, there's more!

He explained the contradiction by saying that back then, medals and ribbons were the same thing.

"There was no distinction," he said on Monday. Medal, ribbons, even dogtags and photographs -- all were "symbols" of the Vietnam War he told ABC News.

So it was just the same as if he actually had tossed his medals? Did he just try to split the difference between his peacenik supporters and normal Americans?