I should have been a "researcher" like the ones from the University of Minnesota who just figured out that Teasing (is) Tough On Overweight Kids' Emotions: Many Overweight Children Teased By Peers, Family Members. Ya think?
But here's the gig I really want - Druids cut death toll with divine intervention:
Druids have been brought in to reduce the number of accidents on Austria's worst stretches of autobahn.Sign me up! Just as long as they don't put up the monoliths by hand.
The Druids have put up huge roadside monoliths to restore the natural flow of "earth energy". After the massive pillars of white quartz were put up beside a notorious stretch of road during a secret two-year trial, the number of fatal accidents fell from an average of six a year to zero.
Gerald Knobloch, who describes himself as an archdruid, used a divining rod to inspect the 300-yard stretch of the A9 in Styria and restore "earth energy lines". "I located dangerous elements that had disrupted the energy flow," he told The Telegraph.
"The worst was a river which human interference had forced to flow against its natural direction. By erecting two stones of quartz each weighing more than a ton at the side of the road the energy lines were restored."
... the motorway authorities are extending the Druids' role across the country, paying them about £2,500 for each investigation - a fraction of the cost of resurfacing a road.
