Only in Berkeley

She's a pain in the butt! She orders me around by screaming at the top of her lungs. She thinks I am her mate. In her mind we are married. Whenever I leave the room, she screams her killer maniac pterodactyl scream every 10 seconds, demanding that I sit beside her and give her a goddamned treat and talk to her 24/7. I can't fulfill her intense emotional, and probably sexual, needs, too, so she berates me with her 100-decibel piercing scream that is like a razor blade on my nerves.

And don't miss the answer to the question about how she likes Berkeley.