It's Howdy Dowdy Time! Well kids, the burr under Maureen's saddle today is the fact that the President appeared on television extolling the virtues of exercise and is apparently capable of same, unlike the prior occupant of the White House whose jogging was merely an excuse to move his meaty thighs to McDonald's or a hook-up with a hottie.

Maureen seems to have submitted her high school graduation picture to the Pulitzer committee, but a more recent snap suggests she has been spending way too much time with Mr. Krispy Kreme, or as she admits in her article: Pirate's Booty and caramel macchiato. Maybe her increasing amplitude is due to depression after being dumped by Michael Douglas for his new wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Or maybe it's because she still thinks all the guys are avoiding her because she is a successful woman (instead of the grim reality that she is an obnoxious shrew).

Whatever the reason, what does Bush's good physical condition or Dowd's decrepitude have to do with anything substantive? Nothing, of course. But we're talking Maureen Dowd here, the queen of the irrelevant personal attack. Payback's a bitch, Maureen.