Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Davos transcript revealed!

The wusses at the World Economic Forum may not be releasing the transcript of Eason Jordan's delusional ravings, but Iowahawk has dug one up! What Happens In Davos, Stays In Davos:
Jordan: Thank you Arsenio, and thank you delegates. It’s a real pleasure to speak to you today. I originally intended to center my remarks around building global news market share, but as we have all seen, this is becoming increasingly difficult in our fragmented media world. On the one hand, we have see the welcome emergence of ethical competitors like Al-Jazeera [applause], but we have also seen an infestation of sleazy fly-by-night operators like Fox [boos] ...and unregulated blogs [boos] ...who have spoiled what once was a golden goose for many of us.

While it would certainly be wonderful to regain share, ultimately we need to focus on the bottom line. At CNN we have paid close attention to carefully containing costs, but in such a way that does not impact our news product. For example, we achieved significant cost savings by accelerated depreciation of Larry King’s suspenders, and outsourcing our teleprompter feed to the Democratic National Committee. And, while we certainly didn’t support the invasion and occupation of Iraq, it allowed us to cancel our bribe contract with Ba’athist officials — freeing up essential bribe budgets for our other stations in the Mideast. As they, say, every cloud has a silver lining.

But, I don’t want to be blithe about our the challenges we face. For example, if we don’t get some control on the US Military deliberately targeting and shooting our field reporters, we are certainly going to face some steep increases in health care premiums for our employees. Second... umm, yes? Congressman Frank?

US Congressman Barney Frank: With all due respect, Mr. Jordan, what the f-ck? I mean... what the f-cking f-ck!?

Jordan: Excuse me?
Much more by following the link including Arsenio's monologue.