Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Botox Boy should shop on eBay!

Imaginary Foreign Leader Endorsement
Caught in a Presidential race lie? I'll cover for you!

Have you ever been caught in a lie while running for President of the United States? If you want to make a current president jealous, look better in front of your political buddies who have real foreign relations experience, or if you are just a liar who got called out on your bogus campaign lies, this is the auction for you!!! I’ll pretend that I am the leader of a foreign nation that supports your candidacy for President of the United States until the elections in November.

As the imaginary leader of a foreign nation who supports your candidacy, I’ll play along with you with whatever you want me to say. If you want to tell some pesky Republican who calls you out at a campaign stop that I support you, I’ll back you up. If you want me to claim that Bush has ruined the reputation of the United States, I’m up to it. Just like you, I’m willing to say anything it takes to get you elected, I won’t mean a bit of it, and I'll change my stand on the situation when it is politically convenient.

Shipping/Handing charge for this item is $15.00, we only ship to Massachusetts. Payment must be received within 3 days of auction close. We accept Paypal (Mastercard, Visa, E-Checks), Money Orders, Certified Checks, or fraudulent donations from Moveon.org in US Funds and Cash. As soon as I receive your payment I’ll mail off the press release to CNN, Fox, ABC, NBC, and CBS stating the fact that we have a relationship going back to the start of the Bush presidency. I am the ultimate online fake leader of a foreign nation!!!!

*****THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM YOUR REAL SUPPORTER!!!!!This is only pretend!!!!!***** When our time is up, right before the election, I’ll send out another press release stating that this was all fake. Hey, I’m out for a buck, I’m not insane. But who are we kidding, if flip flopping on the issues makes a person less trustworthy, you would have dropped out of the race already.
UPDATE: He doesn't need eBay, he's using SPAM:
Urgent Message:

Dear Foreign or More Leaders of Socialist Realms and to Friendly Communist and Islamic Dictators Threatening the Free World; Greetings of sincerety to you.

May I allow myself to be introduced to you as I am known. I am Senator John Cash&Kerry, formerly of Mozambique, and now to be living in the DC of Washington and the Cape of Cod.

Of recently, I have had unpleasant circumstances befall all around me as a statement I have made regarding personal conversations with foreign despots such as yourselves, has sufficiently landed me in water of the hottest kind.

As the Second President of Blackness to seat myself in the Office of Ovalness, I appeal to you for assistance in this my greatest hour of personal need.

I am rested assurred that you are thinking, "This man of Blackness wants money!!" But no, for I am fortunate to be swimming in green "Ketchup" currency up to my patrician dog-ears.

My request at this most urgent moment is for you to fly immediately to the Cape of Cod and meet with me the Press of our nation to profess your most sincere hatred for George Bush, my most evil adversary.

Your lies, er I mean assistance in prevaricating this attack will be most appreciated as my African-American wife will provide your dictatorship with much relish of pickle and many, many gherkins and catsups which you will be enjoying.

As a last favor I implore you my most loyal terrorist comrades to bring with you several of the most poisonous snakes you have so that I can send my oldest and dearest friend, Ralph of Nader, a specimen for his enjoyment.

It is you with my thanks of so much,

Coming soon to an email box near you!