My, but they're busy little pests

War on Fat Gets Serious

So, you're one of the 190 million Americans who are overweight.

You're trying to shed the extra pounds, but your resolve is under daily assault. The all-you-can-eat buffets. The convenience of drive-through. Supersizing. The comfort of fat and sugar. The lure of the couch.

All right, then. Meet your new weight-loss team: There's Deborah Ortiz, state senator; John D. Graham, federal regulator; Richard Banzhaf, attorney; Margo Wootan, nutritionist and government activist. There are more, too, but you probably don't know them. But they are on your case, filing briefs, drafting legislation, writing memos and holding news conferences.

That sounds real helpful!

Determined to help you and your loved ones lose that weight and keep it off.

Thanks, pals!

They are the new warriors in a national fight against fat, and they have decided that it takes a village to trim a waistline. If the increase in obesity is to be reversed, they believe, Americans must have better exercise venues, more nutritional information and improved access to healthy food that is as inexpensive and convenient as the stuff that helped to make us fat. Overweight consumers should be offered incentives to help lose the extra poundage. And government should help in the fight.

Somehow I knew that was going to be the punchline.

In the brave new world that public health activists hope to create, you would pay a special tax on Ho Hos, Big Macs and other foods high in fats or sugar. An obese person would pay more for health insurance than someone of appropriate weight and would have no legal recourse if passed over for a job because of their weight.

They can't be serious! That would go against all the diversity cant they have been spouting for years.

And your favorite junk food would return to the test kitchen to have its fat removed because its manufacturer would be worried about being sued.

And everywhere you would turn for a bite, whether at restaurants or at home, you would see fat and calorie counts and consumer warnings. Imagine, in small type, something like, "The surgeon general has warned that excessive consumption of foods high in fat and calories will lead to obesity, which is associated with increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and certain kinds of cancers."

How about a warning sticker for their foreheads that says "Excessive wanking can make you go insane."

Much more than you really want to know by following the link.