Thursday, March 18, 2004

It's Spring Break and the Sap is Running!

Iowahawk has some fun with Lurch's vacation:


Presumptive Democratic candidate John Kerry will celebrate another round of primary victories with a 22-day R&R global tour of several of his vacation homes, according to campaign spokesmen.

"It has been a hard-fought primary race, and Senator Kerry will be taking some time off to relax, rejuvenate and enjoy some quality Swiss blood replacement therapy," said Kerry exotic animal reserve manager Klaus-Maria Umlaut.

Slated for the tour are Kerry's sprawling 'Xanadu' Idaho ski ranch, sailboating at 'Gigolo's Vineyard,' his private island off coastal Massachusetts, bocci ball at 'Condimenta,' his high-security palazzo compound in Tuscany, and a two week makeover session with French plastic surgeons at his exclusive 'Coeuer de Pourpre' villa in Baden-Baden.

"This will not be all play," said Umlaut. "In Idaho, Senator Kerry will be meeting with George Soros to develop programs to help America's forgotten middle class."
No word on whether Teresa will have a cameo in a new "Girls Gone Wild" episode.

In case you missed this story, check out Drudge's report and the Prowler story - A River Runs Through It:
Apparently overlooked in Wednesday's stories about Senator John Kerry's $5 million estate in Sun Valley, Idaho, was his most glaring indulgence. Never mind the 500-year-old English barn, each piece of which was numbered and reconstructed after shipment from a small town in southern England, or the quarter million dollars worth of landscaping on the property. Kerry saved his greatest indulgence to share with the taxpayers of Idaho.

After paying for all the landscaping on the Sun Valley property, the Kerrys determined that their water supply was not great enough to keep their vegetation thriving. And so the couple petitioned the state to have a small river redirected so that its waters could be used to keep their garden nice and green. The state complied, leaving taxpayers on the hook for the work done. The state covered the cost ostensibly to ensure that the river's redirection would be environmentally sound.
I'm so glad!