You want something done, you call a Wise Guy

Fuhgeddaboutit!

And In Nevada, Reid Is the Name to Know:

WASHINGTON --- It was the kind of legislation that slips under the radar here.

The name alone made the eyes glaze over: "The Clark County Conservation of Public Land and Natural Resources Act of 2002." In a welter of technical jargon, it dealt with boundary shifts, land trades and other arcane matters --- all in Nevada.

As he introduced it, Nevada's senior U.S. senator, Democrat Harry Reid, assured colleagues that his bill was a bipartisan measure to protect the environment and help the economy in America's fastest-growing state.

What Reid did not explain was that the bill promised a cavalcade of benefits to real estate developers, corporations and local institutions that were paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in lobbying fees to his sons' and son-in-law's firms, federal lobbyist reports show.
...
"Lots of people have children, wives and stuff that work back here," he said. "It is not as if a lot of cash is changing hands."

Just walking around money for these swells, I'm sure.

Seeking favors is as old as the Capitol, but the new tendency to come at it from the side --- through family members --- may be a consequence of campaign-finance reform: As restrictions have tightened on traditional political giving, interest groups have cast about for new ways to ingratiate themselves.

Nothing strikes quite such a personal note as channeling fees or lucrative jobs to relatives --- whether the relatives lobby Congress or perform other services. There are no restrictions. Neither House nor Senate rules bar the practice.

At least 17 senators and 11 members of the House have children, spouses or other close relatives who lobby or work as consultants, most in Washington, according to lobbyist reports, financial-disclosure forms and other state and federal records. Many are paid by clients who count on the related lawmaker for support.

But Harry Reid is in a class by himself. One of his sons and his son-in-law lobby in Washington for companies, trade groups and municipalities seeking Reid's help in the Senate. A second son has lobbied in Nevada for some of those same interests, and a third has represented a couple of them as a litigator.

In the last four years alone, their firms have collected more than $2 million in lobbying fees from special interests that were represented by the kids and helped by the senator in Washington.

Click through for more details from this 2003 article by Chuck Neubauer and Richard T. Cooper at the LA Times. I guess the editors didn't spike it because they didn't know what renown Senator Harry Reid would achieve in Donkdom. Don't hold your breath waiting for the Soros funded pressure groups to start complaining. (Hat tip: FR where some folks are wondering whether ole Harry would adopt them.)

Update: What would a story about one of the "families" be without some colorful nicknames? That's what I thought, so I updated the photo.

It's Happy Hour!

Actually, it's a tad early, but it's too late for my usual breakfast or lunch titles for this collection of tasty morsels:

Don't show up unarmed at a gnome fight

Maybe If Sandy Berger Had A Texas Oil Connection More People Would Know What He Stuffed In His Pants. Not to worry though - they've got time for John Bolton's haircut - REMIND US AGAIN WHY NO ONE RESPECTS THE PRESS?.

Lebanon captures canine infiltrators from Israel

Bummer!:

Nowadays, however, everything's changed. The good vibrations are nicht so gut anymore. The scene is dominated by the bleakness twins -- Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer. Those Sisters of Mean can put a downer on everything, know what I'm sayin'? Well, maybe not the bank account of a half dozen or so Beverly Hills plastic surgeons, but everybody else. And this has been going on for too long. It's getting so serious I'm in danger of having my Frank Zappa MP3s erased.

John Kerry will be the official starter of the wheelchair division race at the Boston Marathon on Monday. Gosh, I wonder if he's going to wear one of his cool outfits? And who knew ole Lurch pretended to be a marathon runner too?

There Is No Such Thing As "Jobs Americans Won't Do"

One phrase you often hear tossed around during immigration debates is, "Illegal immigrants do jobs Americans won't do."

However, that's totally untrue. There is no such thing as a "job Americans won't do;" there are only "jobs Americans won't do at a certain price."

For example, how many people out there would be interested in shoveling elephant crap at the circus? It's likely that very few of you would. However, what if I said you were going to be paid 10 million dollars a year to shovel elephant dung? In that case, it would be likely that a very high percentage of you would suddenly become quite willing to grab a shovel and get ankle deep in "elephant leavings" if it meant you could become rich.

Where's my shovel? Actually, based on the example of NY Times, some folks are willing to shovel manure for considerably less.

Must be another Zionist plot! Has Manischewitz gone meshugah?:

The 117 year-old company best known for its matzah, canned kosher chicken soup and jarred gefilte fish preserved in goo is setting its sights on a new demographic: Heavy metal enthusiasts.

Click through for the photo.

We're so darn diverse

Illegal alien, 17, ran down hero officer:

A Salem patrolman decorated for bravery last year is expected to make a full recovery after being struck by a car driven by a 17-year-old illegal immigrant from Brazil who didn't have a license, authorities said.

``I saw the car in front slowly veer to the right and then I saw the officer get hit and saw him flip in the air and land on the sidewalk,'' witness Kathleen Kallama of Topsfield told police after Leila Lopes plowed her friend's 1992 Honda Accord into the officer Wednesday night.

Thankfully, while he was in critical condition, it now looks like he'll make a complete recovery.

Lopes, who stands 5 feet and weighs only 98 pounds, appeared distraught as Judge Santo J. Ruma held her without bail at her arraignment at Peabody District Court. She pleaded innocent to unlicensed operation of a car and negligent driving.

There's a good laugh.

Lopes was detained April 4 by the U.S. Office of Immigration and Naturalization after sneaking over the border in Texas with her father, prosecutor Cesar Archilla said. She was released, but ordered back for a hearing.

It's the famous Illegal Alien Catch and Release Program! If caught by the border patrol, just tell 'em that you are from some country other than Mexico and they will release you and tell you to come back at a future date for a hearing. That's sure an effective plan.

One Brazilian woman from Newburyport said she visited Lopes shortly after the arrest.

``She just wanted to know how the guy is,'' Viviane Viana, 28, said of Lopes' inquiry into Shea's condition.

Send him a post card when you get back to Brazil, Leila.

That's unlikely, I know, but I can always hope. But not much - 11 illegal aliens fail to appear for court date:

Eleven illegal aliens who were released by federal authorities after a traffic stop in Fairfax County on Sunday did not show up for immigration proceedings yesterday.

"None of them came back, and I think that the fact that these aliens failed to appear showed the challenges of immigration enforcement," said Manny Van Pelt, a spokesman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agency.

Mr. Van Pelt said about 30 percent of illegal aliens who are ordered to appear for immigration proceedings fail to show up. Of those who do appear, about 85 percent become fugitives if a judge orders them to be deported.

I find it amazing that 70% actually show up on the first pass. I wonder if Manny is funnin' us?

Federal authorities will now issue a notice that will be sent to an address the aliens had given to ICE officials. If the aliens do not show up at any immigration proceedings, a judge will issue an order for their deportation.

The illegals will have 30 days to appeal the deportation ruling before federal authorities input the aliens' personal information into the National Crime Information Center as "fugitive absconders."

I wonder how many aliens named "Vincente Fox" with last known address of "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC" they are currently looking for?

Turn's out it's not too many as revealed in Authorities free 1 million aliens amid proceedings:

Mr. Sessions said ICE is far behind in entering the names of the 465,000 alien fugitives into law-enforcement databases, which means that if those people are picked up in another arrest, they would not be turned over to immigration authorities.

So they haven't even finished entering all the Vincente Foxes in the database. Is this a great country or what?

It doesn't get any better

The Russians will send the Constitution into space:

The Italian astronaut Roberto Vittori will be carrying a copy of the as yet unratified Constitution for Europe (presumably it will be wheeled along in a trolley) as he boards the Soyuz rocket that is due to take off tomorrow from Baikonur in Kazakhstan.

So, finally, that document will be in the environment that is most appropriate for it: space. It is not quite clear what will happen to it eventually. One assumes Signor Vittori intends to come back to earth at some later date. Will he bring the hefty document back with him? Surely, the EU is not so wicked as to pollute space with it.

Meanwhile, Günther Verheugen, Commission Vice President has waxed lyrical on the event:

“In orbit, the constitution will not only encompass Europe, but the whole world. Let us hope that this symbol of European identity will be well received both by Europeans and by the peoples of other continents.”

Someone should do something about Herr Verheugen’s medication in our opinion.

More japery by following the link. And while you're there, check out Rigging the debate:

Chirac is, according to The Daily Telegraph returning to the fray tonight, in a televised "debate" on the private TF1 channel.

But, rather than confront his critics in a genuine debate, l’escroc has opted for a live studio appearance with 80 carefully selected "young people", as his way of counter the forces of dissent.

And, already, the tactic seems to be backfiring on him. Questions are being asked about the participants in the broadcast, and about the role of the president's daughter, Claude, who leads his communications team, in its planning. Opponents have seized on the absence of any champion of the No cause. Journalists from other stations unsuccessfully asked France's broadcasting watchdog, the CSA, to intervene, condemning a "confusion of information with entertainment".

Only if you have a very broad definition of "entertainment." Of course, you'd have to have an even broader definition of "information."

This just in!

Thailand to Host World Toilet Summit:

Thailand plans to upgrade hygiene in its public toilets to meet international standards as it prepares to host the World Toilet Summit next year, a health official said Wednesday.

"Toilets are very important for the country's image in the eyes of visitors," said Somyos Chareonsak, a senior official of the Public Health Ministry.

It's run by the World Toilet Organization, but don't tell the lefties. Just say the WTO is planning a big meeting in Bangkok in May, 2006.

Fun from all over

The wages of Socialism:

No word yet on whether Congressman Chris Shays will call for Sanders’ resignation—though a source close to the Connecticut Republican noted that “he may as well, now that the grandstanding douche has gone and shot his mouth off about Tom DeLay.”

BASSACKWARDS:

The solution to the problem of kids drinking and driving was so obvious it was ignored--keep the drinking age at 18 but don't let kids drive until their 21. Behind the wheel they're menaces even sober.

Also see ANYONE THINK A BAN ON PENILE IMPLANTS WOULD STAND?

LGF Has People Making "LGF Minion" Leather Biker Jackets, And I Can't Sell a $15 Schmatta

People asked if I was in a depressed mood, as they thought that Nietzche quotes were a subconscious cry for help.

Well, I wasn't depressed then. I am now, though.

Doing The Hippy Hippy Shake In The Senate:

Rich Lowry has some hysterical, and at the same time maddening, posts at The Corner about the most recent controversy over the Bolton appointment. It seems that John Bolton actually puts his hands on his hips, speaks in a low voice and asks tough questions from time to time.

I wonder how long these namby-pamby Donk Senators would last down at our local hardware store where there's a "Don't Spit" sign on the indoor ashtray.

LA Times: "Jews" Target Killdozer Day:

Once in a while, the LA Times manages to uncork a headline so tone-deaf and subconsciously nasty that it leaves their biases standing revealed. Here’s the headline for Teresa Watanabe’s highly sympathetic coverage of the moonbat campaign against Caterpillar: Jews Target Caterpillar Shareholder Effort.

Funny, I don't look Jewish. Hmm, that reminds me! Where'd I stash the Rachel Corrie photoshops? Not to mention the pancake jokes.

UPDATE: Here's a good one from the folks on FR:

Which reminds me that Arafat thought they gave him some disease.

Vroom! Vroom!

BORN TO WALK:

New improved Green Bruce:

She’s a slow-moving hatchback with continuously-variable transmission
She’s a gas-electric hybrid producing zero emissions!
Late at night, battery power’s restored
I swear I think of your pretty face when I plug in the cord

New Bruce same as the old Bruce. What a tool.

Morford's panties are in a bigger knot than usual

Ths SF Chronicle's wingnut online columnist, Mark Morford, is all atwitter - Earth To Humankind: Back Off: Say good-bye to your car, computer, everything. We are burning up the planet too fast to hang on. Do your part, Mark! Turn that computer off! Mark's probably worried about what he'll use to power the sex toys which are a regular feature of his screeds.

Hillary! C'mon down!

Minutemen Mulling Hillary Invite:

The lead organizer for the border patrol group the Minutemen said Tuesday that he wants to invite New York Sen. Hillary Clinton to come to the Arizona-Mexico border this month to review their operation, which has so far netted the arrests of more than 300 illegal immigrants.

She's been "broadening her appeal" lately - why not?

Gilchrist's decision to invite Clinton was likely prompted by her tough comments on border security - remarks that place her sharply to the right of the Bush administration on the issue.

"I am, you know, adamantly against illegal immigrants," she announced in Feb. 2003 radio interview, adding that "people have to stop employing illegal immigrants."

"I mean, come up to Westchester, go to Suffolk and Nassau counties," Clinton railed. "Stand on the street corners in Brooklyn or the Bronx; you're going to see loads of people waiting to get picked up to go do yard work and construction work and domestic work."

"Clearly, we have to make some tough decisions as a country," the top Democrat urged.

Unfortunately, Hillary's idea of a tough decision is likely how much money to give illegal aliens, but I won't prejudge. C'mon Hillary, show your stuff!

Don't you just love it!

LGF provides some multilateral amusement - UN springs into action. From the Reuters article:

The 191-member U.N. General Assembly approved a nuclear terrorism treaty on Wednesday that would oblige governments to punish those who illegally possess atomic devices or radioactive materials.

Ya think?

The document, after seven years of negotiation, is the 13th anti-terrorism convention and the first completed since the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks on the United States.

Dang, they're like greased lightning!

The pact will be open for signature on Sept. 14 in New York, during a high-level summit ...

I guess it takes time to organize a fancy shindig with all the requisite expense account padding.

You just can't make this stuff up.