Today's Hoot!

Eh Canada!:

According to informed sources, the election of Harper as PM has prompted the exodus among left-leaning Canadians who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
...
Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of Toronto sociology professors, animal rights activists, and New Socialists crossing their fields at night seeking the US border fence.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Vancouver film producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
...
Some Canadian liberals have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips headed to USA where they can cut the queues and get medical care unavailable to Canadians. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, INS authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed Canadian senior-citizen passengers coming into the US to play bingo.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Everyone picks on Larry Welk.