More letters to Lurch and Opie

I'm so excited that Lurch and Opie want to hear our stories! They really care!

Hmm, how about some celebrity letters?

You guys have fancy houses on the coast just like me. Don't you hate the riffraff that hangs around the ocean? You'll do something about that, won't you? Anyhow, some ecoweenie in a helicopter actually took pictures of my mansion claiming to be checking for coastal erosion! And when I sued him, the judge found against me and made me pay his legal expenses! The nerve! I hope you'll do something for people of our class.

Drop by any time. We'll do brunch on the veranda.

Kiss, kiss,

Babs

Or how about:

OK goobers! There I was, fat er, slim, dumb and happy. Then I get a few bottles of wine under my belt and start a X-rated rant on BushHitler and the next thing you know I'm out on the street! And it was at a fundraiser for you two twerps, too. You're going to fix that, right?

Yo!

Whoopee Cushion