Tuesday, March 23, 2004

It doesn't get any better than this

Ole Lurch sure opened a can of worms when he touted himself as the "International Man of Mystery" who had met with all sorts of foreign leaders who were backing him for President, but couldn't mention any of their names. It was bad enough that everyone was laughing at his claim, but then when a few of the more odious wingnuts actually piped up to say "John Kerry's our boy," he had to issue press releases disavowing them. Here's the latest:

Kerry Attacks Venezuela's Chavez
CARACAS, Venezuela (Reuters) - U.S. Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry has attacked Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez as a dubious democrat hostile to U.S. interests, delivering a slap in the face to the leftist leader who had portrayed Kerry as a potential friend.

The Kerry statement on his Web site made front-page news in Venezuela on Monday, nearly two weeks after Chavez had publicly praised the Democrat contender, hailing his health care plans and likening him to assassinated U.S. President John Kennedy.
Sensing through his perpetual alcoholic haze that his chum was in trouble, Ted Kennedy jumped in the water to help:
MR. RUSSERT: Well, shouldn't Senator Kerry have a higher standard? When he said, "I've met more leaders," shouldn't he tell us who he met? And where in his schedule did he have time to meet those leaders?

SEN. KENNEDY: Well, the fact is, he's obviously met leaders over a period of time. And anyone--the CIA knows who they--if the White House is really interested in those leaders, they control the CIA. The CIA gives them those lists. Everyone knows at the United Nations where the country stands. Any child can look at the newspapers and television and look at what's happened in these demonstrations all over the world. This isn't a big mystery.
That Teddy's such a tease! C'mon Ted, help us little people out with a few names.