Today's Hoot

Kathleen Parker at Townhall.com - Bush plan is empty piñata

Conservatives are prickly because, they say, illegals are robbing precious American jobs. And because illegals are, well, illegal.

Liberals are offended because they say Bush is merely creating an underclass of cheap labor, as though we don't already have exactly that. Except that presently it is also an illegal underclass.

And illegals are unhappy because they're not getting enough under the proposed program.

Excuse me for being so sane, but when did illegal aliens get to gripe about the size of their benefits package?

I was kinda wondering about that too!

Bush, meanwhile, is happy because he gets to ratify his conservative compassion, attract Hispanic voters and feel virtuous as he waxes about our proud immigration heritage. Excuse me for interrupting again, but immigration was very cool the first 200 years or so of American history, but since Sept. 11, 2001, it's terrifying.

We clearly have an immigration system that needs fixing, but post-9/11 we might be spared the misty-eyed paean to the world's tired, poor, huddled masses. At this point, we're all a little tired, stretched and bunched up.

Mexico President Vicente Fox is also happy, though cautiously. He's happy because he temporarily rids himself of 3 million to 5 million people his country can't support, but cautious as he waits for "details." Translation: Please keep them!

I always think that's way cool, myself. Even a fruitcake like Kucinich wouldn't run in the USA on a platform of exporting citizens, but it's hot stuff in Mexico. Ulps, wait a minute, don't anyone give Kuku ideas - he might like a "foreign exchange" program.

Most entertaining of the reactions has come from illegals themselves, or at least from their advocates. A spokesperson for the National Council of La Raza, for instance, said that once targeted workers read the fine print, many will feel they're better off living here illegally than putting their names in the government's database.

I know just what they mean. First they get you in their databases, then they want you to pay taxes.

Bummer! More by following the link.