Howie's Epiphany

Marni Soupcoff observes And Then He Saw the Polls...

Dean told the Boston Globe that he didn't think opposing the bike-path "was very God-like." Neither, one would imagine, is casually working Jesus into one's speeches in a transparent effort to grab votes. But then religion is a very private thing, according to Dean, so perhaps he's brokered his own special deal with the man upstairs that the rest of us simply can't understand.

The real question is will the voters buy Dean's new religious act? I think the chances of that are about as good as the odds of the following ditty I composed in Dean's honor reaching the Billboard Top Ten.

Dean's a Believer

(Sung to the tune of the Monkees' I'm a Believer)

I thought God was
Only true for Republicans
Meant for some white trash
But not for me
God was just so kitschy
That's the way it seemed
Wind-powered energy
Was more for me

And then I saw the polls
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm pi-ous
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave God
If I tried

I thought God was
More or less for low-class dupes
But the less I prayed the worse
I polled, oh yeah
What's the harm in claiming
Jesus is my guy
Southern votes got me kneeling
That's no lie

And then I saw the polls
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm pi-ous
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave God
If I tried

You'll have to follow the link for more. I was starting to hum it.