Thursday, November 13, 2003

Durn Wimps!

(Via Spoons) You call this a filibuster?
The U.S. Senate has scheduled a filibuster for Wednesday night so senators can talk themselves blue in the face about who's to blame because Democrats won't allow some of President Bush's judicial nominations to come to a vote. We're not going to debate the merits of the issue today--of course every nominee should get a vote. This time, we'd rather complain about the wussy nature of this filibuster.

Time was when a Senate filibuster meant something. Senators were forced to stay up all night and had to keep talking until they were close to collapse. Remember that scene in the movie, "Mr. Smith goes to Washington"? Jimmy Stewart does collapse on the Senate floor.

But the senators of the 108th Congress aren't about to collapse from this effort. This filibuster has been carefully choreographed. It'll last 30 hours, from Wednesday evening through midnight Thursday. No senator will have to blabber on for 30 hours. The time is being split equally between Republicans and Democrats. A Republican will blabber for 30 minutes, then a Democratic senator will blabber for 30 minutes . . . you get the picture. The point of this exercise? Beats us. Even hot air ain't what it used to be.
That's what we really need - a real "no holds barred" filibuster! I want to see Teddy Kennedy pissing in a water jug behind the lectern after a 10 hour speech. Er, I don't actually want to see it, but I want to know that's what he's doing when he crouches down behind the podium and his sigh of relief sounds like it's coming from a barrel.

Wouldn't it be great if there was a double secret plan so that when the 30 hours are up, the Donks all file out and the GOP calls a snap vote? I doubt there is, so we'll just have to extract amusement where we can - Call Democrat Cloakroom 202-224-4691, Ask Senator Byrd To Send Over Some Clean Sheets For GOP Cots. "He's a Kleagle, he's the guy who hands out sheets."