News you can use!

Yahoo! Entertainment stuns with Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year!

Federal health officials are expected to soon issue a report warning the public about the dangers of second-hand gas. Human gas, that is.

"Second-hand gas, if inhaled on a regular basis, can cause headache, irritated eyes, emphysema, asthma, bronchitis and in many cases, heart attack," says a physician with ties to the Centers for Disease Control.

Lots of laughter too!

"Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas -- and many others suffer serious ailments as a result of long-term exposure.

"Gas-passers and non-gas-passers alike must realize the extent to which breaking wind -- commonly called 'farting' -- damages everyone's health."
...
Due to poor dietary habits, there is now an "epidemic" of flatulence in America, the report warns. The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.

Time for the trial lawyers to arrive! And sell your Taco Bell stock!

Er, hold on a sec. This looks like Yahoo! Entertainment, but actually the source is the Weekly World News. I guess they've gone mainstream or Yahoo! has gone tabloid.