Friday, June 06, 2003

Naughty bits alert!
Anatomy of a penis pill swindle:
Giving Americans a first glimpse of an industry flourishing at the intersection of larceny and libido, authorities in Arizona are seizing the assets of a Scottsdale company that sold more than $74 million worth of pills that it claimed would enlarge penises or breasts, make the consumer taller or hairier — even sharpen his or her golf game. But despite such audacious claims, the company — C.P. Direct — would likely still be gouging the gullible if its founders hadn’t decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards, industry insiders say.
I'm in the wrong business. Follow the link for more than you want to know about the "enlargement" industry.

Viagra Madonna:
Madonna is in talks to make a film based on the town in Ireland which manufactures the member-straightening drug Viagra. Her company, Maverick Films, wants to make a film based on a true story of locals in the small town of Ringaskiddy, County Cork, made famous by Pfizer, the company that makes Viagra. Provisionally entitled Something In The Air, the film will be about locals going sex mad after breathing in fumes from the factory.
Not too much butter on the popcorn, thanks!

Freeway flasher: 'I felt neglected by my wife':
EASTON (Pennsylvania) -- Richard James Clader felt neglected by his mother and wife, and Tuesday in Northampton County Court, he admitted he had an unusual way of dealing with those feelings.

Police said the 38-year-old Wilson Borough man repeatedly drove on Routes 22 and 33 blaring his horn so other drivers would see him masturbate while he drove.
Perhaps he drove past a Pfizer factory, although the contortions necessary to drive and provide such a show for other drivers would seem rather difficult.

No real naughty bits, but Police hunt failed pants thief:
"He was not the most well-prepared robber we have come across," said a spokeswoman for South Wales Police.

"He walked into the shop with a pair of underpants over his head - but he could see through two eyeholes.

"But at the crucial moment they slipped down so he couldn't see a thing."

The pants were described as blue and white.
And undoubtedly lent a festive air to the proceedings!