You Can't Make This Stuff Up!
The Memphis (Tennessee) Commercial Appeal astounds with Rename Civil War parks? It's time, says Bailey:

Many Memphians viewed last summer's heavyweight championship fight between Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson as one of the city's crowning moments.

Sounds like "many Memphians" have a rather limited worldview.

But for County Commission chairman Walter Bailey, the event also highlighted a major civic embarrassment.

Bailey said Lewis's attorney and some HBO officials were driving through downtown and spotted a monument dedicated to Confederate president Jefferson Davis.

"They thought that was a bit unbecoming," Bailey recalled. "That was sort of an awakening call."

That uncomfortable experience has prompted Bailey to begin some informal discussions about changing the names of three city parks dedicated to the Civil War: Confederate Park, where the Davis monument is located, nearby Jefferson Davis Park and Forrest Park in the medical center area.

Memphis must really be in great shape otherwise, if a "major civic embarassment" is the names of the town parks. And it certainly is swell that Mr. Bailey's guides to local civic matters are some out-of-town boxing riffraff.

So far, Bailey said he's met only with a few city leaders to gauge support for the potentially controversial idea.

Bailey said a public discussion of park renaming is probably premature, so he talked about it only reluctantly.

He's afraid of being called an asshat.

But he said the goal would be to remove some symbols of an era many Memphians would rather forget.

"Changes would be consistent with our efforts to become a world-class city," Bailey said. "These monuments are offensive to some people."

Ah a "world-class" city - what a goal! Gosh, does being "world-class" mean you get more boxing matches? As for being "offensive to some people", Mr. Bailey undoubtedly offends more people when he breaks wind in a crowded elevator.

But here's a thought, have people and organizations pay to get their name on the parks. How about Mike Tyson Park? Or Sex and the City Park? Or maybe Bailey can cough up the cake himself for Shameless Political Whore Park.