Tinpot Dictator Alert. Robert Mugabe lived down to his advance billing in his address at the opening day of the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation's World Food Summit in Rome. According to the Mugger, "his government had 'responded to the people's cry for land' by embarking on a 'fast-track acquisition and resettlement programme'. This 'now enables people to fight poverty by directly working on their own land. Their own, I say with emphasis, because land, being the most important natural resource of any country, must belong to, and be owned by, the indigenous people.' " The only fly in the ointment is that the "indigenous people" are Mugabe's cronies and the 90% of the productive white-owned farmland that they have stolen is now lying fallow. The planting of wheat on 100 additional white-owned farms had been delayed indefinitely because it cannot be done without the permission of the agricultural minister who is off in Rome with his thug boss. "Mr Mugabe and his delegation have been staying at the five-star, £500 a night Excelsior hotel since Saturday, police sources said. All day yesterday, silver Mercedes limousines glided in and out of its entrance carrying delegation members, while wives returned with their designer shopping. "

So here's the net: Nero is off in Rome, while Zimbabwe, once the breadbasket of Africa, has got its tin cup out. The solution for Zimbabwe is obvious, but frankly that's not our problem. Our problem is that the US taxpayers will undoubtedly be tapped to pay for famine relief either directly or indirectly through the UN. In the name of cost effectiveness, why not try "early retirement" for Mugabe?