Friday, August 08, 2008

Lying John Edwards tries a coverup

Lying John Edwards says it isn't his kid
Looks like John Edwards is at it again. Here's his full statement with a translation for those of you that don't understand lying ambulance chaser lingo:
In 2006, I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs.

Tr: I was boinking the help whenever and wherever I could and I finally got caught with Rielle Hunter. 2006 is the only date I will admit because it makes me look like less of a schmuck.

I recognized my mistake and I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness.

Tr: Are you kidding? I didn't tell the wife anything until I got caught at the Beverly Hilton by the National Enquirer. I then told her she had better keep her pie hole shut if she ever wanted to see Blair House from the inside.

Although I was honest in every painful detail with my family, I did not tell the public.

Tr: I did not want to miss my chance to be President or VP so I stonewalled and said it was all lies.

When a supermarket tabloid told a version of the story, I used the fact that the story contained many falsities to deny it. But being 99% honest is no longer enough.

Tr: I was never good at math.

I was and am ashamed of my conduct and choices, and I had hoped that it would never become public.

Tr: I didn't plan on getting caught.

With my family, I took responsibility for my actions in 2006 and today I take full responsibility publicly. But that misconduct took place for a short period in 2006. It ended then.

Tr: Try to prove it didn't!

I am and have been willing to take any test necessary to establish the fact that I am not the father of any baby, and I am truly hopeful that a test will be done so this fact can be definitively established.

Tr: If the dumb slut lets that brat out of her sight for even a minute she's never getting another nickel from me or my pals.

I only know that the apparent father has said publicly that he is the father of the baby.

Tr: That little wimp, Andy Young, better not say anything to the contrary either or he is off the gravy train too!

I also have not been engaged in any activity of any description that requested, agreed to or supported payments of any kind to the woman or to the apparent father of the baby.

Tr: I know nussing about what those wild and crazy pals of mine have been up to though!

It is inadequate to say to the people who believed in me that I am sorry, as it is inadequate to say to the people who love me that I am sorry.

Tr: I'm only sorry I got caught. The jungle sex on our African trip together was great.

In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic.

Tr: I am the studliest guy in the whole world - just check out my hair!

If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help.

Tr: Are you sobbing yet?

I have given a complete interview on this matter and having done so, will have nothing more to say.

Tr: I won't say anything more unless you can beat my coverup. Then I'll lie some more.

It certainly was nice of ole Johnny Reid to throw Rielle under the bus. Stay tuned for the Revenge of Rielle:

Revenge of Rielle Hunter

New excuses needed for Johnny Reid Edwards

Since the National Enquirer is now featuring a snap of John Edwards with his love child, our previous attempt to provide an excuse for ole Johnny Reid needs a bit of an update. How about trotting out Johnny's favorite whine about poverty?

John Edwards says he was just comforting a poor unwed mother and her fatherless child

Hmm, at $15,000 a month for Rielle and offspring, that may not fly. OK, here's one that's sure to work!

John Edwards says he is a Muslim and Rielle Hunter is his second wife

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Exactly what do you figure Obama thinks were the good old days?

Barack Obama got caught without a teleprompter again and his usual stream of unconsciousness produced this gem:
"America is …, uh, is no longer, uh … what it could be, what it once was. And I say to myself, I don't want that future for my children."
Gosh, I can come up with some nominations for better times in the USA in the past. How about before the illegal aliens overran the country or before the moonbats took over the Democrat party? However, I doubt ole Hussein would go along. What can he be thinking of?

Asked and answered:

Barack Obama - Jimmy Carter now available in black

There are even t-shirts and mugs for the similarly nostalgic.

Help Barack Obama play the race card

Obama Sharpton Race Card
It sure didn't take Barack Obama long to get into the groove finding racism hiding in every hen house eating watermelon and performing a minstrel show. Peter Kirsanow helps Barry out with a little self-test fun in 25 Reasons You May be a Racist:
The tendency of Obama supporters to see racist impulses behind every criticism of their candidate has evolved into absurdity. Now even the first black president feels compelled to declare he's not a racist. By this measure, nearly every American is at risk of being branded a racist at some point in the campaign. To assess whether you're at risk just consult the list below ( apologies to Jeff Foxworthy ):
  1. If you think Obama's the most liberal member of the senate you...may be a racist.
  2. If you object to Obama raising your payroll, capital gains and estate taxes you...may be a racist.
  3. If you'd prefer a president have at least some foreign policy experience you...may be a racist.
  4. If you're in favor of drilling for oil and building nuclear power plants you...may be a racist.
  5. If you think "Vero Possemus" is Latin for "Massive Ego" you... may be a racist.
  6. If you wonder why Obama was hanging around William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn you...may be a racist.
  7. If your pastor is nothing like Rev. Wright or Father Pfleger you... may be a racist.
There's more by following the link, but Kirsanow's punchline is, "This campaign has, to paraphrase Moynihan, defined racism down." The professional black folks in the Democrat party have been working the race card hustle for years so it is hardly a surprise, but once again young Barry is showing his elders how to really con the marks.