Monday, July 26, 2004

Lurch Family Values



Lurch pulled a big "surprise" and decided to show that he was "just folks" by attending the Red Sox-Yankees game in Boston:
Democrat John Kerry swooped into Boston last night on a stealth mission on the eve of his convention — saying he couldn't bear to miss the climactic game in the Yankees-Red Sox blood feud at Fenway Park.

But Massachusetts' favorite son might have made an error on the play: He heard plenty of boos from his hometown crowd when he strode onto the field to throw out the ceremonial first ball.
Yep - it sure was spontaneous:
The appearance was supposed to be a surprise, but Kerry couldn't help touting the event to reporters on the plane from Ohio.

"The idea of missing a Yankees-Red Sox series right before a convention week was not acceptable, so we changed the policy," Kerry told reporters.

Kerry, though, is apparently no Red Sox fan. Over the past few weeks, Kerry has claimed that his favorite Red Sox player growing up was Eddie Yost, who never actually played for Boston. Even famously liberal baseball pundit Peter Gammons, a New Englander, no less, was disgusted enough by the pandering to point out that embarrassing error.

According to a campaign staffer, Kerry was prepped on the plane from Ohio on the team's current players and manager, just in case he was interviewed during the game by ESPN, which was covering the game live. "He hasn't been paying attention, though he says he's a fan," says a campaign staffer on the ground in Boston. "But to the best of my knowledge, he's never inquired about the Sox, how they are doing, that kind of thing."

It wasn't just a love of the game that got Kerry to Fenway, campaign workers could be seen before the game on Yawkey Way loading "Sox Fans for Kerry" signs into boxes to be handed out in the stands to fans willing to hold them up during the game.

But less than 20 minutes after the game had started, a number of signs could be seen in the trash receptacles throughout the park, and Kerry volunteers were quickly picking them up so that photographers couldn't take pictures of them.
Some wags have suggested that ole Lurch watches more Sox games than he attends Senate sessions.

But wait, there's more! All of Lurch's expertise at "extreme sports" and wardrobe assembly didn't help him much when it came to baseball (from the first link):
Kerry's pitch, caught by a Massachusetts National Guardsman who had recently returned from Iraq, was in the dirt.
And he tossed it from only half way to the mound.

The Freepers (from whom the above snap was taken) were having lots of laughs with the whole thing. My favorite part - the National Guardsman got to sit next to Lurch for the 1st inning and then disappeared so Lurch could schmooze with the glitteratti like perky Katie Couric and Tim Russert. Who loves ya, Baby?


It's Zsa Zsa!

And saving the best for last, wingnut Teresa topped off a speech calling for civility in politics by criticizing "un-American" behavior. When a reporter asked her about it, she first claimed she didn't say it and then told him to "shove it". Cut to the videotape. Presumably they'll have her medicated before she speaks at the convention, but isn't her Zsa Zsa accent kinda cute?