Saturday, April 26, 2003

Meanwhile back at the ranch
I see that I have been neglecting domestic political hijinks lately. By way of remedy, did you catch the latest Hillary flap? Steven Brill: Hillary Fabricated 9/11 Records:
U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton had her staff fabricate records of meetings and phone calls to families of victims of the Sept. 11 attacks to burnish her image as New York's leading politician on 9/11 issues, the author of a new book on how U.S. officials dealt with the aftermath of the attacks charged Sunday.
That ole gal is sure handy! But don't worry about her - she's got a good left hook:
After ignoring the story for five days, New York Sen. Hillary Clinton was finally forced to respond Thursday night to an allegation that she fabricated records of meetings with families of 9/11 victims - after Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly broke the mainstream media embargo on what some are calling the most serious charge ever lodged against the scandal-scarred former first lady.
...
"Brill's accusations are completely false and an obvious last ditch effort to jump-start anemic book sales," Reines said...
Hey, the records were just lost for a while, but they found them in her closet!

Then there was the latest John Kerry brouhaha:
Quoting unnamed advisers, the Times said the Bush campaign considers Kerry the most likely to win the Democratic nomination from the current field of nine candidates. The Bush team also believes Kerry is vulnerable because of his Northeastern roots and patrician air.

''He looks French,'' the newspaper quoted one adviser as saying, without elaboration.

Kerry said he laughed when he read the comment, adding: ''It means that the White House has started the personal politics of destruction, that's what it means, but it's fine.
Wanting to do my best to further the politics of personal destruction, I was getting ready to fire up Photoshop, but frankly Kerry would look really poor in a beret. Maybe a flannel shirt and tuque as Jacques, the French Canadian lumberjack, but the beret would just be too wierd.

But then a better opportunity came along when Kerry's wealthy but wacky wife popped up to deliver:
``They'll probably say he's French, he's Jewish . . . he's a monkey,'' Heinz Kerry said of her husband, whose Jewish roots recently became a campaign issue.
The only "issue" involving Kerry's "Jewish roots" is the humor surrounding the years Kerry spent telling everyone he was Irish. As Jay Nordlinger observes, I don't seem to recall any Republicans calling Joe Lieberman a Jewish monkey.

However, what will likely be an "issue" is Teresa Heinz Kerry herself. Can you say loose cannon? I knew you could!

Update: On the other hand, she should bring in the tin foil beanie vote.

Teresa Heinz Kerry - quite a few fries short of a Happy Meal