Today's Hoot!

The Dissident Frogman provides a video for refined tastes - Like a Suppository, Only Stronger - in which he graphically explains to the worthless hacks at the AFP the difference between a cartridge and a bullet.

Burge and Blair do Bonneville

Head over to Iowahawk and scroll down for the start of the 5 part Bonneville Diary starring David Burge and Tim Blair. Think of it as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas without the fear or loathing and with nitromethane instead of illicit substances. But there is a casino:

But something still bugs me -- that damned global warming video slot machine down in the Montego Bay lobby. "Stay here," I tell Hawkspawn. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." I slide a fiver into the machine, feeling strangely lucky. After three or four spins, the thing goes crazy. I line up a staggered row of global warming cubes; a dancing tuxedoed penguin appears, busts through his snow globe and hops into the waiting arms of pink lady walrus with enormous knockers. 52 bucks! I collect the windfall and return to the room. I crank the A/C down to 63 degrees.

Take that, Gaia!

Kevin Rudd tries a Bubba defense

It just gets better. After a brave attempt by various fellow travelers to pass off a drunken strip club visit by Australian Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd as proof that he's just a "bloke" and not the little prig everyone thought, more sober reflection has shifted the game to a Bubba Clinton-style "I didn't inhale" defense:

KERRY O’BRIEN: But can you remember seeing lap dancers performing?
KEVIN RUDD: Look, what I can recall in terms of the actual venue itself was that not much more than you would see in the last 20 years in a certain of the pubs in Australia, I’ve got to say.

KERRY O’BRIEN: But that’s what I would like to clarify. Because you don’t see lap dancing in most pubs in Australia. Can you recall seeing lap dancers performing while you were there?
KEVIN RUDD: No, I can’t.

So the current spin is that Kev was so sh*t-faced he just sat there like a vegetable completely unaware of his surroundings. Not a pretty picture, but likely more acceptable to the Labor Party femnazis and the more straight-laced voters. Meanwhile, Sydney Morning Herald blogger Jack Marx got fired for being a little too imaginative about possible un-vegetable like behavior of the SMH's favorite politician:

The dancer would have begun with some general pole work; a few twirls here and there, leaning back, bending forward at the waist, that sort of thing. Nothing spectacular - not yet - just some gentle gymnastics to get the blood pumping. Perhaps she would have noticed the little man smiling at her from the edge of the stage, perhaps she didn't. But he noticed her, that's for sure. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. She was gorgeous.

That is one of the less exciting portions.

Kevin Rudd has some new friends

Australian Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd may be embarrassed over his escapade at the Scores strip club in NYC while on a taxpayer financed visit to the United Nations, but some folks are sticking by him including the girls at Melbourne's Goldfingers Men's Club:

The girls of Goldfingers would like to see more of fun loving Kevin '03 rather than the stale and stuffy "Kevin '07" and thus invite him to attend Goldfingers when he visits Melbourne on the campaign trail.

We believe that in his position, Mr. Rudd should be setting an example by supporting "Australian Made" performers rather than spending tax payer's money on US goods!!!!

(Our management will be reminding him on arrival that we have a strict no touching policy in order to avoid a repeat of the Scores fiasco!)

Better yet, whoever is running ole Kev's MySpace operation accepted the "friend" request - "Kevin Rudd accepts Goldfingers friendship during this trying time." C'mon Kev, give the local product a try!

More:

Every MySpace friend request must be approved by Rudd's office, but nobody picked the link.

"It's hilarious," Amber Bartlett, from Goldfingers, said.

"I sent the request as a bit of a joke at 1am . . . and by 9.30am he
was our friend.

"It's a bit surprising.

"It's like he had no hesitation."

Christian Socialist Kevin Rudd offers Australians a new angle

The best part of Kevin Rudd getting kicked out of a NYC strip club is that Mr. Milquetoast is always prattling on about his saintliness:

THE political danger for Kevin Rudd as he contemplates his moment of madness is that it gives the lie to the persona he has so far successfully sold to voters.

We are talking here, not only of Rudd’s deliberate projection as a bookish, Mandarin speaking intellect. But more of his claims to being a church going family man who counts as his hero Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Lutheran pastor martyred by Adolf Hitler. The aspiration to high principle by association is obvious.

Just last week Rudd addressed the Australian Christian Lobby. He was a prominent member of the Federal Parliamentary prayer group. He has previously declared the Christian faith, along with a commitment to social justice, to be one of the guiding principles of his life.

And this: “For me, my family is the most important thing in my life. It is the backbone of my life.”

Of course, it doesn't help that he was travelling as an Australian representative to the United Nations where high living is a way of life. However, the real question is, considering what normally goes on at the strip bar in question, what could Mr. Milquetoast have possibly done to get kicked out?

Australian PM candiate Kevin Rudd is really a party animal!

You wouldn't guess it to look at him, but Kevin Rudd, Australian Labor Party Leader and PM hopeful in the upcoming election, turns out to be a real party animal after he gets a snootful:

Kevin Rudd's hopes of becoming Prime Minister have been rocked by a visit to a New York strip club where he was warned against inappropriate behaviour during a drunken night while representing Australia at the United Nations.

Mr Rudd yesterday issued a statement to The Sunday Telegraph, confirming he went to the club. But he said he could not recall what happened at the night spot because he had "had too much to drink''.

"If my behaviour caused any offence to anybody whatsoever that evening, I of course wholeheartedly apologise'' he said.

Mr Rudd went to the Manhattan "gentlemen's club'' Scores in September, 2003, when he was Shadow foreign affairs minister.

He was in New York at taxpayers' expense as a bipartisan observer at the UN. Mr Rudd went to the club, which is a well-known haunt of UN diplomats and journalists, with New York Post editor Col Allan and Northern Territory Labor MP Warren Snowdon.

Ole Kev sure got right into the United Nations thing, but a lot of the folks back home probably don't really understand what goes on there so they may be a trifle miffed. Not to mention his wife.

That's OK, Kevin - being a lefty means you'll be forgiven, but if you need some tips just put in a call to Ted Kennedy. The weekend is a bad time, of course, but whenever Ted sobers up I'm sure he'll give you a jingle with some good advice.

This is via Tim Blair who observes that "Haven’t been to the club in question, but things have to get pretty lively at these joints before you’re shown the door." Indeed. The article referenced explains what goes on at Scores, which is pretty much what goes on at any strip club but with higher prices, but here's the nut:

One customer review on the NY City Search site notes: "Scores has the best bouncers among all gentleman clubs in NY City. "They do not interfere unless you really cross the limit."

I wonder what ole Kevin was trying to stuff in her g-string? Kevin says he was too drunk to remember, but there must have been plenty of witnesses. C'mon folks, drop a dime.

Today's Hoot!

Fun with that sleazy hack, Ken Layne:

Hey, Ken? How's that media career goin' for ya, buddy? Remember when you thought you'd soon have a gig with a real MSM outfit? And now you're working in Ana Marie Cox's old internet pretend-job, working for her old crappy salary (if that-- did you manage to get the big Cox salary or did you agree to a cut?), while she, many, many years your junior, is now at Time.

Click through for more hijinks, but watch out for the picture of ole Ken since it's rather hard to take on a full stomach.

Hey, Tipper! Empty out the bottom dresser drawer!

Click the (lightly edited) picture for ... er, enlargement

The Register reveals a new program in the UK that will surely warm the cockles of Al Gore's heart - a recycling program for old, worn out vibrators. Here's the pitch (some vibrator photos likely NSFW):

New recycling regulations mean that all electrical equipment - including sex toys! - must be disposed of at a designated electrical waste collection centre. This means that you shouldn’t just chuck your dead vibrator in the kitchen bin!

More than 1,000 electrical waste centres have been set up at recycling sites around the UK. But who wants the hassle and embarrassment of taking your dog-eared defunct sex toy down to the tip? Nobody! That's where the LoveHoney Rabbit Amnesty can help.

Send your old rabbit vibrator to LoveHoney Rabbit Amnesty and we will:

• Carefully dispose of your old vibrator
• Donate £1 to a green charity
• Ensure as much of it is recycled as possible
• Send you a new rabbit vibrator for half price!

Such a deal! Al and Tipper should really get on top of this one! I also think "ecogasms" is a nice turn of phrase - maybe they'll send a truckload of their product to the Democrat convention next year?

The best thing about the Internet...

The best thing about the Internet is that it allows third world ankle biters to practice their English while trying to scam us. As evidence I offer this email missive:

Womens always whooped at me and even fellows did in the not private water closet!
Well, now I sriek at them, because I took M E _G_A_D_ IK for 6 months and now my penis is badly more than federal.
shop for (Website deleted)

Of course it could always be Harry Reid.

Palestinian terrorists do children's TV

It's always interesting to see what uncivilized savages do with modern technology and the thugs of Hamas don't disappoint with their attempt at a children's TV show:



Too bad the lion cage wasn't unlocked. On the other hand, I can't wait for the episode where Nahool shows the kids what not to do with dad's AK-47 and RPG.