Where's all that darn global warming?

I ventured down to the lower 40 today to cut up a fallen tree and I have to tell you that it was a tad chilly here in the Southland with even worse promised for tonight. I'm surely grumped - I'd planned on wearing a monokini along with my Santa beard and hat next Christmas what with all the Global Warming the ecoweenies have been promising lately. Of course it makes me feel a whole lot better to see that some Donk loving locales are feeling the bite too:

Below-Zero Temps Close Schools:

A bone-chilling Arctic cold wave with temperatures as low as 38 below zero shut down schools for thousands of youngsters Monday, halted some Amtrak
service and put car batteries on the disabled list from the northern Plains across the Great Lakes.

The cold was accompanied by snow that was measured in feet in parts of upstate New York.

With temperatures near zero and a wind chill of 25 below, school districts across Ohio canceled classes. "We have a lot of kids that walk to school. We didn't think it was worth the risk," Sandusky City Schools Superintendent Bill Pahl said.

Wisconsin's largest school district, Milwaukee Public Schools, also shut down, idling some 90,000 children, and in upstate New York 34,000 kids got the day off in Rochester because of near-zero temperatures. Schools also closed in parts of Michigan. Even in Minnesota, where February cold is the norm and people are accustomed to coping, some charter schools closed.

The temperature crashed to 38 below zero Monday morning at Hallock in
northwestern Minnesota, and to 30 below at International Falls, the weather
service said.

But wait there's more! Bitter Cold Grips Northern States:

From Minnesota to New York, some schoolchildren are getting an extra long weekend because of the bitter chill that has spread over the eastern half of the country.

Wind chills are minus 25 degrees or lower and some high temperatures today aren't expected to climb above zero.

Experts say exposed skin can get frostbite and school officials didn't want kids outside waiting for buses.

Maine is getting hammered with wind chills forecast as low as minus 45 by tonight in the western mountains.

In Michigan, there could be insult added to injury with winter storm warnings for most of the eastern Upper Peninsula and the northwest Lower Peninsula.

Amtrak shut down passenger train service in upstate New York west of Albany and numerous schools closed due to whiteouts from lake-effect snow and below zero wind chills.

Yeah, I know it's all anecdotal. But heck, the way the usual suspects get all squishy every time some of their underclass "clients" get hit by bad weather we might as well get a laugh before they explain that it's all somehow due to Global Warming, and if not, that it's all George Bush's fault.

On a more utilitarian note, has anyone seen Al Gore? Sleds work much better if you grease the runners and who's more oleaginous than Big Weird Al?

Today's Hoot!

Tim Blair reports the astonishing news that the Sunday Age's clueless columnist and hapless looney Terry Lane has condemned Australian PM John Howard for not caring that Australia lacks " mighty mountains and great lakes." Actually Lane's screed is mostly an even more bizarre tale involving an vast joint American and Syrian conspiracy plus cat urination, but that just doesn't have the feel good theme of missing mountains. I wonder if the Age's medical plan covers check-ups from the neck up?

Today's Hoot!

Iowahawk keeps us up to date on Fidel Castro's excretory outlook:

According to the Spanish newspaper El Pais, Cuban doctors have performed a number of experimental ass treatments on the 79-year old president-for-life since he first fell ill in July 2006. These treatments have reportedly included cork blockage, cork removal, high-pressure steam cleaning, violent stomach-punches from the Cuban national boxing team, Santaria chicken sacrifice, and mandatory public anti-constipation rallies.

Seeking to reassure citizens that El Jefe remained in control, a photo in Havana's official newspaper last week showed him relaxing and chatting with visiting Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez while receiving a colonoscopy. This appeared to be administered via an auger bit attached to the rear axle of a 1953 Plymouth.

However, the latest US intellegence reports indicate that these measures have been thusfar unsuccessful, and that Castro faces an uncertain prognosis.

"Unfortunately, it appears he remains totally full of shit," said Dr. Gregory Shaw, chairman of the Johns Hopkins University Department of Gastroenterology.
...
"Normally this diagnosis would indicate the need for an immediate colostomy, but this is an extremely tricky case," said Shaw. "It's nearly impossible to determine where the Castro ends and the asshole begins."

Reminds me of the old joke about the three farmers trying to win the state fair prize for largest hog. Of course in this case the punch line would be, "The last thing I remember is the look on Hugo Chavez's face as he tried to stick the cork back in."

Who knew Hillary Clinton was half black?

Chris Matthews interviews Hillary Clinton on SNL:

Today's Hoot!

From David Letterman's Top 10 Messages Left on Fidel Castro’s Answering Machine:

10. "Yo, it’s Raul . . . Where’s the key to the humidor?”
9. "It’s Blockbuster. Please return ‘Girls of the Revolution Gone Wild.’”
8. "Which fatigues would you like to be buried in, the olive green ones or the slightly darker olive green ones?"
7. "It’s Kim Jong Il. When you die, can I have your PlayStation?”

And the biggies:

2. "It’s Saddam Hussein — see you in hell!”
1. "Wow! Congratulations on having Cuba’s only answering machine!”

I knew there was something fishy about Queen Nancy!

Pelosi's Fishy Deal:

When news broke that the House hourly minimum-wage increase to $7.25 did not include the territory of American Samoa, home to large employers StarKist Tuna and Chicken of the Sea, Speaker Nancy Pelosi assured reporters that the bill would be changed. It would include American Samoa, as well as the Northern Mariana Islands, before it is sent to the president.

American Samoa may initially have escaped the minimum-wage increases because the San Francisco-headquartered Del Monte Foods, owner of Star-Kist Tuna, is in Ms. Pelosi's district. But now Speaker Pelosi has been shamed into backing down.

It must be that Queen Nancy only cares for the little people and Samoans are famously big and burly. Of course, here's the best part:

There should be general rejoicing in American Samoa on hearing that everyone would get a raise. But not so. The governor of American Samoa, Togiola Tulafono, stated that increasing the minimum wage "would kill the economy," and the Samoan congressional delegate, Eni Faleomavaega, said that it would devastate the local tuna industry.

A quick look at American Samoan local wage rates tells us why. The current hourly minimum wage for fish canning and processing is $3.26. The minimum wage for government employees, who undoubtedly have an easier job than tuna canners, is $2.91. Shipping has the highest minimum wage, at $4.09. Garment manufacturers get the lowest, at $2.68 an hour.

Fans of minimum-wage increases say the hikes have no effect on the economy or on jobs, but American Samoans are smarter. They know that industries are going elsewhere if they have to pay $7.25 an hour. With higher unemployment in American Samoa, the American taxpayer will be called upon to come to the rescue.

It's hard news for the folks in Samoa and Pelosi's district, but Queen Nancy can try for a win with the ecoweenies who don't really like tuna fishing anyhow, just like they don't like logging, factory farming, oil drilling, and just about everything but nut and berry gathering in isolated thickets. Personally, I'm waiting for the Donks to declare that everyone in the US (legally or illegally) should get as much per year as Teddy Kennedy does from his trust funds just by staying home and watching PBS! Where's my check, Nancy?

Barbara Boxer is easily the dumbest US Senator

But she still likes to prove it regularly.

Today's Hoot!

An excerpt from Mark Steyn's contribution to the "Sandy Berger Lies" contest:

Who can take the memo
Stuff it in his sock
Take it out the building
And then walk it up the block
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)

Who can take the secrets
Out the door at night
Slide them under trailers
On a dark construction site
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)

Where's Sammy Davis when you need him?

Time Magazine welcomes continuing irrelevance

Richard Stengel, the managing editor of Time Magazine says the times are a changin' but Time is right on top of it:

I'm not telling you anything you don't know when I say the media world is changing. But as technology evolves and new ways of delivering information emerge, some things don't change. TIME'S core commitment to explaining the world through great writing, reporting and pictures remains steadfast. In fact, I would argue that in this new dizzying forest of information, it's become even more important to have a trusted guide.

I guess that lets Time out.

The most immediate change is right in front of you. The issue you are holding in your hands--or perhaps you're reading this online--is the first issue of TIME with our new on-sale day, Friday. In fact, it's the first copy of TIME magazine to go on sale on Friday in more than 50 years. We've moved our publication schedule because the news environment has shifted and because we've been listening to you. Over and over, we've heard from subscribers that they get the magazine early in the week and then put it aside to read on the weekend. The solution was pretty simple: let's get you the magazine on the weekend when you want it.

Makes a great beer coaster!

At the same time, I believe that getting the magazine on newsstands on Friday helps us set the news agenda, not just mirror it. The traditional newsmagazine was retrospective, looking back at what happened the previous week. But today's TIME is much more forward-looking, offering you guidance on what's essential to know going forward. Many news sources give you information; we provide knowledge and meaning.

More like leftoid propaganda disguised as news combined with stupid celebrity gossip.

There's more in the same vein, but guess what - Time is going to have a "news" blog! How more cool and trendy can they get? Well, they can introduce a new environmentalism section:

This week marks the beginning of our regular Going Green section, which recognizes not only how important the environment is to people around the world but also how green businesses will be a fundamental engine of change in the 21st century.

If that's not enough propaganda, how about:

I've always believed that TIME makes a difference in people's lives but that we need to find a way to help readers make a difference in other people's lives. To that end, we are starting a section called The Power of One, in which we report on how individuals can make a positive contribution to their communities, their cities, their nations and the world. The revered economist Jeffrey Sachs, director of the Earth Institute at Columbia University, who led the U.N. Millennium Project, will be a regular contributor. This week he writes a moving piece about what it would take to rid Africa of malaria and the cycle of desperation the disease creates.

Based on ole "revered" Jeffrey's Millennium Project, I don't think any effective action like holding a necktie party for the tinhorn African dictators or using DDT for the malaria mosquitos will be on the agenda so be prepared to hear ad nauseum about why the American taxpayers should get out their wallets.

There's more in the same vein, but why bother? On it's way to the dumpster, Time is trying for a last grab at the waiting room pacifier market where we can all pick up a copy and wonder what the heck happened to it.

Another MSM genius spotted

David Kirkpatrick, a senior editor at Fortune (purportedly a business magazine despite the uncanny resemblance to People) waxes lyrical today about all the blogs like the The Huffington Post where he can get his "news." One of the reasons he's so excited:

I used to bemoan the fact that there was no national progressive newspaper. Now such carping makes no sense. There is the equivalent of a newspaper for every outlook - just adjust your RSS feeds accordingly.

If he's never noticed that, with very few exceptions, ALL large US newspapers are "progressive," then I guess we know what belfry this moonbat hangs out in. No wonder he likes the Huffpo. As for Fortune, 'nuff said.