Today's hoot: Jesse Junior G-Man

Jon Kass at the Chicago Tribune says: Got corruption? Get Jesse Junior G-Man:

With so much news on the impeachment of Gov. Rod Blagojevich, I almost missed an incredible aspect of this amazing case:

The Jesse Junior G-Man Task Force to Fight Political Corruption thing.

So I called the federal building in Chicago and asked for the Jesse Junior G-Man Task Force.

"Pardon me?" asked a female federal employee.

Don't be obtuse. It's been all over the national TV news, U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Bud Light) working with the feds to fight corruption. So connect me to the Jesse Junior G-Man headquarters.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

It might not be a formal "task force." Perhaps there's another name for it, like Jesse Junior G-Man Blago Working Group. I'm a reporter. You can tell me.

"Sorry," she said. "No Junior G-Man office here."

Oh, c'mon! Just stop with your little bureaucratic games. The story was on TV. Jackson's been working with the feds, which means he's a good guy.

But she had nothing for me, so I called someone else.

"Jesse Junior G-Man? No," a guy said. "Not on this floor."

Just tell me. The Junior G-Man works in a high-tech complex buried deep underground, right? Behind a series of cool interlocking steel doors, protecting the Cone of Silence, right?

Nope, no trace of Jesse Jr. was to be found, but I did like the later comparison with the Soprano's Big Pussy. It's a good name for the little weasel too.

Today's Hoot: Blagojevich's eBay auction for Obama's Senate seat

Iowahawk reports: Feds Seize Blagojevich eBay Account and has screen caps of the eBay auction for Obama's Senate seat. Who would have guessed that Blagojevich's eBay userid would be HelmetHair and that he would have 11593 feedback but only a 19.7% positive rating?

Merry Fitzmas Moonbats!

Eric Zorn at the Chicago Tribune asks Don't they know it's Fitzmas?

This is a sad day for my state of Illinois… U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin

It is a sad day for Illinois … Barack Obama

...

This is a sad day for Illinois government and for the people of our great state.. State Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias

I was deeply, deeply troubled and saddened by the charges ... Tammy Duckworth, director of the Illinois Department of Veterans Affairs.

I am immensely saddened... .Illinois Comptroller Dan Hynes

I was shocked and saddened today….U.S. Rep Jesse Jackson (D-Chicago)

...

Oh, buck up!

Tuesday was a great day in Illinois, a thrilling day, an exciting, hopeful day; one of the few happy days we've had lately.
...
Any day that U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald brings forth such an array of charges against a big-fish defendant is a day to celebrate: Call it "Fitzmas," a joyous term coined three years ago in the liberal blogosphere when Fitzgerald was bringing indictments in the Valerie Plame-leak case. (Or, if you're Jewish, call it "Hahaha.")

Yet in statement after statement, our gloomy pols were keening as though a great leader had fallen or an important factory had closed.

Perhaps this was their acknowledgment of the severity of the charges and the depths of the alleged betrayal of the people. Perhaps they felt it would be undignified to pump their fists and say "Yessssss!" as many of the rest of us did.

But look. There have been many sad days in Illinois political history.

The days when elected officials have pocketed kickbacks, payoffs and bribes, for instance.

The days when plum jobs went to nitwit relatives and big contracts went to top donors.

The days when monied interests quietly killed legislation and line items disappeared from budgets because certain people hadn't adequately opened their wallets.

The complaint against Blagojevich alleges other sad days, such as Nov. 12 when the complaint says he discussed yanking an $8 million reimbursement payment to Children's Memorial Hospital because the hospital CEO hadn't donated $50,000 to Blagojevich's political warchest; and Nov. 3, when Blagojevich, his wife and a deputy allegedly hatched a plan to blackmail Tribune Co. into firing members of the editorial board.

Wednesday, when Blagojevich returned to work as the governor of Illinois, was a sad day.

But generally we never learn about these sad days, however, until after the fact -- until the happy day when the law pounces.

It's probably a naive thought, but this Fitzmas could become a holly, jolly day on our state's calendar -- the day our lawmakers wiped those obligatory frowns off their faces and decided finally to get serious about changing the political culture that so often gives us so many reasons to be sad.

Lots of luck with that since the Democrats running the Illinois state legislature are cut from the same cloth as Gov. Blagojevich. Hmm, that reminds me - I hope Michelle told the Secret Service agents to never open the freezer in the basement at the Obama mansion. 

Q: What's the difference between Barack Obama and Rod Blagojevich?

A: Obama hasn't been caught yet.