I'd kick in a few bucks to keep celebrity airheads off Twitter

Celebrity Twitter Ban Campaign a Bust, Can't Raise $1 Million; Stars Freak Out

Celebrities were so frustrated with the time it took to raise $1 million for Keep a Child Alive's "Digital Death" campaign, they persuaded a wealthy savior to give them $500,000 so they could get back on Twitter.

Brooklyn-born billionaire pharmaceutical executive Stewart Rahr donated $500,000 yesterday to meet the $1 million goal, thereby resuscitating Alicia Keys, Swizz Beatz, Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Seacrest, Daphne Guinness and others on Twitter and Facebook.

There's a list of twits that never would be missed.

The boldfaces agreed to "kill" themselves on social media until they raised a $1 million for the charity, which helps fund HIV/AIDS relief in Africa and India. But it took longer than expected, and insiders say the celebs became frustrated. 

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Sources said the organization expected to raise the $1 million in a week. But by yesterday, after six days, it had taken in only about $450,000. Stars including Kim Kardashian, who can earn about $10,000 a tweet, started getting itchy fingers.

Is there any topic in the world on which Kim Kardashian can provide useful information or opinion? Besides whoring, that is.

Larry David dumps the dummy!

Larry David is your typical Hollywood liberal, but even he apparently found his wife's moonbat act hard to take:

Now that he's separated, Larry David is having a laugh at his wife's expense. The "Curb Your Enthusiasm" card said he celebrated the end of his 14-year marriage to eco-activist Laurie David in a way that was sure to upset her. "After the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on," David told TV critics in LA. A fiercely private guy, David denied that his wife's public war on global warming caused the split. "No, no, no, she's been that way throughout," he said.

Tim Blair suggests that it must have been a long 14 years.

Some of Laurie David's Martha's Vineyard neighbors aren't so thrilled. They contend her lavish lifestyle is at odds with her activism.

The last is in reference to Laurie paving a swamp in order to better entertain her global warming guru, Robert Kennedy Jr. What better indication of terminal clue lack is there than looking to that loser for anything?

Anyhow, it seems that Laurie David has kept spiffing up the Martha's Vineyard mansion to the distress of her neighbors and was apparently having even more work done:

So, anyway, I reported that her closeness with their caretaker, who is also currently divorcing his wife, might constitute a factor. I now know that not even clams open up like people who summer on Martha's Vineyard. The David lawyers should only have as much information as I've freshly been given.

These newly wide-open mouths allege that Missus and the Caretaker have been taking care for a long time. They claim Larry knew nothing since the couple, married about 15 years and with two children, mainly live in California.

What could be more earth-friendly than Laurie and the caretaker taking a few rolls in the compost? Of course, given that it's Laurie, it might be manure.