More John Edwards hijinks revealed!

Yep, it's Wednesday and so it's time for the Enquirer's JOHN EDWARDS BLOCKBUSTER NEW EXPOSE! It looks like they saved the really hot stuff for the paper edition, but there are still plenty of naughty bits. For instance, the day before Edwards gave his faux confession, Rielle took the Love Child for a $50,000 private jet ride and:

THE ENQUIRER tracked Rielle to St. Croix where our reporters discovered Rielle and the baby stayed in a luxurious oceanfront home owned by controversial trial lawyer Lee Rohn, another close friend of Edwards.

When visited by an ENQUIRER reporter on August 15, Rohn snapped a terse “No comment!” when questioned about Hunter.
...
After the ENQUIRER discovered Rielle’s hideaway with Rohn, she was moved to a motel on the island before returning to Santa Barbara on August 17 according to another source.

An ENQUIRER reporter then saw Rielle back in her California home, which is being paid for by Edwards’ former finance chairman Fred Baron.

And Rielle now has an off-duty police officer guarding her house.

None of this is paid for by Rielle. The money continues to come from Edwards’s network of loyal supporters, with no explanation from Edwards why he is having his friends continue to support Rielle now that the affair has been made public.

Edwards is not only aware of the hush money payoffs but orchestrated it with his team of former campaign advisors and now The ENQUIRER has discovered that a team of six more lawyers have been involved in the coverup and are funneling payments to Hunter, who has no money and no means of support.

I guess she just relies on the kindness of strangers. Heck, I said I was willing to help!

Anyhow, I promised naughty:

A friend of Rielle’s told The ENQUIRER that when Edwards and Rielle met, “She wanted to pick him up. According to her, the chemistry was instant.

“They ended up sleeping together that night!”

Rielle told her friend that she was hired to shoot behind-the-scenes video for the Presidential campaign because Edwards wanted them to be together.

“A friend kidded her she was actually shooting ‘between-the-sheets’ videos!”

Johnny Reid, you devil, you!

I confess, I am the father of Rielle Hunter's baby!

I see where John Edward's goofy gofer Andy Young is getting $20,000 a month for pretending to be the father of Rielle Hunter's baby. It's not clear whether that includes the rent on the multimillion mansion in Santa Barbara where he was comically living with his wife Cheri, his 3 kids, and Rielle and her baby until Rielle and Cheri got to fussing and Rielle moved to a separate fully furnished mansion that rented for $9000 a month. It's also not clear whether it includes family cars - Rielle was driving a BMW. Still, it's a nice chunk of change for no work.

Aside from an astonishing criminal record and being unemployed, it's not obvious what Andy Young brings to the job beyond an endearing loyalty to John Edwards. However, for $20,000 a month plus Rielle's $9,0000 housing allowance, I can be very loyal and obviously my studly demeanor

makes me a much more credible candidate for the role of a philanderer. What's more, I won't have any family trouble since my wife suggested I apply for the job and she's airing out the guest room right now!

I told her, "These young blondes can be mighty flighty, but I'll try my best to handle Rielle if I get the gig."

She said, "Shut up, you old fool! The only thing you'll be handling is dirty diapers. Rielle and I are going to be busy shopping and going to New Age soirees in the BMW. You're going to be taking care of the baby."

I guess I'd have to hire my scary neighbor Skeeter and his hound dog Rex to keep off the reporters, but that way I'd have someone to talk to while I tend to the Pampers and pablum.

So, hey Fred Baron! Give me a jingle. I'm a much better candidate for the job of love child daddy and I might even give you a nice Country Store discount.