If Hillary wins, I'm going to England

Yep, that's right. If Hillary wins the 2008 election, I'm going to England and claim political asylum. Actually, no matter who wins the election, I'm going to England and claim political asylum. What better way to have a cheap European vacation and get £4,000 (that's currently $8,054 in real money).

Thousands of failed asylum seekers have been flown out of Britain and set up in business back home in a £36 million taxpayer-funded scheme, it can be revealed.

The unwanted foreigners, who had no legal right to remain, were given free flights, handed £1,000 in cash at the airport, then paid a further £3,000 to start enterprises in their homelands.

More than 23,000 migrants have taken advantage of the scheme. Their UK-funded businesses range from market stalls to hotels and clothes factories, in countries as far-flung as South Africa, China and Colombia.

The ostensible reason for this policy is that it is supposedly cheaper than the legal process for deporting them which I'm sure makes sense to those with a liberal mindset. They don't notice that they have just painted a big "Kick Me" on their hindquarters because they are too busy patting themselves on the back:

Organisers say the business start-up grants create jobs and prosperity in troubled regions of the world. Most of those returning have resettled successfully, although 300 have been caught trying to re-enter Britain.

I guess the latter needed more start-up cash.

The only downside is that while Britain's National Asylum Support Service (NASS) will give you housing and walking around money until they kick you out, it's not as luxurious as you may have heard:

NASS states:

Asylum seekers don't "jump the queue" for social housing, and so do not deprive UK nationals who are still on waiting lists. Asylum seekers are housed under separate arrangements funded by the Home Office and don't affect local authority housing lists.

Accommodation given to asylum seekers is not better than that provided to UK nationals. NASS has a model contract for use with housing providers which sets out minimum regulatory standards only. The contract does not require provision of special services or luxury goods.

Asylum seekers don't get free colour television sets, new cookers or washing machines or other electrical goods, or telephone facilities. They don't get free mobile phones or benefits to buy second-hand cars or new furniture.

Weekly cash payments provided to adults are worth 70% of Income Support.

Well heck. Maybe if I am real annoying they'll kick me out quick. I'll just sue for better accommodations.