Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Bureaucrats Gone Wild!

England Expects regularly keeps us up to date with the hijinks as the rampaging European Union bureaucrats leave no stone unturned in the their quest for proper regulation of every conceivable activity in the realm. Of course, some efforts are more worthy than others. How about some regulations for the bureaucrats themselves?
Some days the documents that drip from the swollen body institutionate that is the European Commission make me laugh out loud.
“Rules for use of saunas in Berlaymont”
That's the HQ building in Brussels.
Now we’re talking. And yes I do have a copy of the rules here in front of me.

“The Berlaymont is equipped (beside the library of the legal services) of 2 suanas, waiting room, cloakroom showers and of an entry hall with modern and functional equipment.”

That explains why they told Michel Petite, he would have freaked if he went down to check some obscure ECJ judgement only to be startled by a vision of Margot in her altogether.

“The sauna No.1 will be reserved for the Commissioners, Heads of Cabinet, Directors-General and their guests.”

Meanwhile Sauna No. 2 is for all other officials and its use is restricted, Men only Tuesday and Thursday. Women only Monday and Wednesday, and for all your viewing pleasure Friday is a free for all.
Woohoo! What better way to kick off the weekend?
However that is not all, oh no -

“It is appropriate to comply with the rules of conduct”.
“Leave your clothes in the dressing room…Nakedness is natural. Sweating makes swimsuits uncomfortable”.
“After warming up you can use the whisk if you please”.

Yes there is a taxpayer funded whisk.

“You can also lie down and even close your eyes for a while if you feel like it.” Ahh, bless.

And this one just send me into fits of giggles,

“have a refreshing drink and a salty snack to your personal taste”.

Are you thinking what they’re drinking?
There are certainly a lot of possibilities, but I'd rather not speculate. Especially since I'm feeling guilty because the current EU President says that a "No" vote on the EU Constitution plays into the hands of those dastardly Anglo Saxons. No word on the British response.